


The Problem with Fate

by airam06



Series: Waking Up 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, Sequel, Some angst, Soulmate AU, Waking Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 60,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airam06/pseuds/airam06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas are planning for their future together, but one seemingly harmless favor to a friend throws everything into turmoil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to my fic "Waking Up", and picks up directly where the other left of. Thank you for all the support the first story received! I'm sending internet hugs to all of you in my mind. Enjoy part two of the Waking Up 'verse!

Cas kissed Dean breathless after his proposal by the river, and he and Dean rushed to tell Sam and Mary right away, not even bothering to change out of their costumes from the evening showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Dean pulled into their driveway, and he and Cas walked quickly next door. Dean had just raised his hand to open the doorknob, when the door swung open and he and Cas came face to face with Jess and Sam.

Sam took a quick look at Dean, dressed in leather and other biker attire, and Cas, who was dressed in fishnets and a bustier, with thigh high leather boots.

“Uh…guys?” Sam asked, while Jess ogled and gave a small giggle. “You know I’m fine with whatever you two do in bed, but-”

“Shut it, Sammy,” Dean said. “Can we come in?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sammy said, stepping to the side. “We were going to go to the park, but honestly I’m more curious about this now.”

Dean and Cas walked into the living room where Mary was sitting, some needlework in progress in her lap, and a cooking show playing on the television. She glanced up at the boys before dropping her eyes back to the pattern in front of her.

“Hello, boys. I see you’ve been to see Rocky Horror.”

Dean registered a slight moment of shock that his mother knew the movie he liked so well, then launched into speech.

“Mom, what would you think about expanding the family?” Dean asked.

“Dean, I’ve already told you, if Sam wants a dog, he either keeps it at your house or waits until he moves out,” Mary said sternly.

“No, I mean…Cas. What about adding Cas?” Dean pressed.

Mary frowned.

“Cas is already family,” she said.

“I meant officially.”

There was a brief second where the room was exceptionally still; Dean’s nerves flared up at the possibility of his family being less than accepting, of judging him-

“It’s about time,” Mary said, setting aside her needlework and raising up to hug the boys.

“You _proposed?_ ” Sam asked in a surprised voice, and Dean nodded.

Sam pumped his fist into the air in a celebration, and Jess squeaked out an excited sound.

“We’ve got so much to plan!” she said, and she rushed up to hug Cas tightly. “What are your colors? Where do you want to get married? Who can be the preacher? What about the reception?”

Cas looked absolutely lost as to how to plan a wedding, and Jess turned her attention to Dean.

“Well?” she asked.

“I don’t care,” Dean said, shrugging and grinning. “As long as I get Cas at the end of it, do whatever you want.”

Jess gave another small, excited sound, and began to rattle off possible plans. Dean caught Sam’s eye and grimaced, knowing he was in for listening to the planning for the foreseeable future. Sam seemed to understand as well, because he spoke up.

“Make sure you include Cas in your planning, okay?” he said to Jess, and she nodded fervently.

“Of course! We can start after school, just as soon as you two pick a date!”

“Give them some time, sweetie,” Mary piped up, wiping happy tears away. “Are you two hungry?”

Dean realized he was, but judging my Cas’ face as he glanced down at his clothes, he was thinking the same thing.

“Thanks, Mom, but I think we need to go home and change. We’ll come over this week though.”

Dean and Cas made their way to the door, and Mary watched as Cas was gripped tightly by Jess again, and as Sam whispered a quiet “congratulations, Dean” into his brother’s ear. Then the moment was over; Jess and Sam decided to stay in and watch a movie (with some snacks, of course) and Dean and Cas left to return home. Mary walked back into the kitchen to tidy up, and she smiled at the picture of her and John hanging on the wall.

“Oh, John,” she sighed. “I wish you could see how happy our boys are. All three of them.”

*

The next few weeks were filled with work, school, Saturday classes at the karate center in Lincoln (Julia had taken quite a liking to Dean and Cas, and had even introduced her baby brother Isaac to them), and insistent phone calls from Sam.

“Dean, seriously,” he said one day on the phone, exasperated. “Pick a date already! Jess is going to drive me insane. She has a notebook. _A notebook_. It’s full of ideas, and I swear she tells me every one at least twenty times.”

“Keep your hair on,” Dean said, and Cas shot him an inquisitive look over his beloved T.S. Eliot book. “She’s your girlfriend, you deal with it.”

“Dean,” Sam pleaded, and Dean could visualize the puppy dog eyes over the phone.

“Fine, Sam. I’ll call you tomorrow,” Dean said, and he hung up with his brother.

Cas had gone back to reading his book, and Dean felt his heart stutter when he looked over at him. It was like a picture out of a magazine. Cas set gracefully in a chair, legs curled up under him, and wearing a truly hideous purple and green sweater that made him look like a human version of Barney the Dinosaur. Yet the lamp light shining down on him, the serene look on his face as he read over his treasured book for perhaps the fiftieth time, and even the way he occasionally mouthed along with his favorite parts, made Dean feel warm down to his bones.

He stood and walked over to perch himself on the arm of the tattered plaid chair, then leaned in to press a small kiss in Cas’ hair. Cas snuggled closer to Dean’s side, sighing contentedly as Dean ran his fingers through his unkempt hair.

“I love you,” Cas said softly overtop of his book, eyes darting up to meet Dean’s briefly before he returned to his reading and turned the page.

Dean’s pulse increased. He’d never grow tired of hearing those words from Cas.

“I love you, too,” he said. “So damn much.”

Dean’s cell gave an insistent buzz, notifying him of a text message, and Dean quickly scanned it. Sam had texted him for the thirty fifth time in an hour.

_**Dude she wants me to help her pick out floral placemats. DO. SOMETHING.** _

Dean chuckled and returned his attention to Cas.

“Look, if we don’t give Jess a date for the wedding soon, Sam is going to die of a planning induced coma."

Cas put his book down immediately, giving Dean the sort of uninterrupted attention he normally did, as though anything Dean said was the most meaningful thing he had ever heard.

“Do you have any ideas?” Cas asked, and Dean fidgeted.

“Yeah, actually…January first.”

Cas’ eyes widened a bit.

“Because of eighth grade?” he asked, and Dean nodded, but hesitated before he spoke shyly.

“Do you remember that night?” Dean asked.

“I’ll never forget it.”

_“Hey, Cas, what’s up?” Dean answered the phone on New Year’s Day, after helping his mother clean the mess from their traditional lunch of black eyed peas and cabbage._

_“Dean, could you…can you come over tonight?” Cas asked._

_Dean raised his eyes to meet his mother’s over the kitchen table._

_“Is that Cas?” she asked, and when Dean nodded, she already knew his next question. “Yes, you can stay the night.”_

_“I’ll be over in a minute. Is everything okay?” Dean asked, and Cas paused over the phone._

_“I don’t know,” Cas said softly._

_“I’ll be right there,” Dean said immediately, and he grabbed an overnight bag before heading to Cas’ house._

_Naomi let Dean inside, and he clambered up the stairs to find Cas starting a movie for the two of them to watch._

_“That was fast,” Cas remarked, and Dean shrugged._

_“We had an appointment.”_

_“Is Happy Feet okay?” Cas asked, and Dean agreed to it._

_Dean threw his bag into a chair, and he and Cas settled back onto the bed, shoulders touching as usual, and Dean waited for him to talk about whatever he needed to. He wasn’t going to press it; Cas would talk when he felt like it. Twenty minutes in to the movie, Dean got a text from Jo._

_**Can you have Cas text Anna?** _

_“Hey, man, Anna wants you to text her,” Dean said distractedly, tossing his phone back onto the bed._

_“I…I don’t think I will,” Cas said quietly, staring avidly at the screen._

_“She’s not bad, you know. Kind of quiet, but Jo swears she’s the funniest person she’s ever met,” Dean said._

_“Dean,” Cas said hesitantly. “I saw someone at school today, and I think they’re cute. I don’t know what to do.”_

_Dean had a sudden rush of a strange emotion pang through his chest, but he ignored it; maybe Mary’s beans weren’t agreeing with him._

_“Well, who is she? I might be able to get her number off Jo,” Dean said, and Cas flushed pink._

_“It wasn’t…it was Adam. Adam Milligan,” Cas said, and he cast a fearful glance at Dean._

_“Oh,” Dean said, and he took in the look of abject terror on Cas’ face before he spoke again, deciding that no matter what, he never wanted to see Cas looking that scared ever again. “Well, he isn’t the worst looking guy in our grade.”_

_Cas’ fear faded into something akin to shock, and Dean continued on._

_“I mean, he’s no Aaron, but he’s not bad on the eyes.”_

_Cas gaped at Dean before seeming to come back to himself._

_“You’re not disgusted? You still want to be friends with me?” Cas asked quietly, and Dean thought he could feel his heart break a little._

_“Dude, you’re my best friend. I don’t care who you’re into, you’re still the same person.”_

_Cas suddenly wrapped his arms around Dean and hugged him tightly, reassuring himself that he wasn’t going to leave. Dean wasn’t repulsed by his sexuality. He accepted him without question, just like he always had._

_“Have you told your mom?” Dean asked, throwing his arm around Cas’ shoulders when he sat back up._

_“No. You’re the first person. But I’m going to tell her, and everyone else. I’m tired of hiding it, of being scared. I’m worried about how the rest of our class will take the news that I like girls and boys both, but no one else has to hide their sexuality, so why should I?”_

_“I’m with you through it all. If someone says something, tell me. I swear I’ll break their nose…unless it’s a girl. Then I can pretty much swear that Jo will break their nose instead,” Dean said with a grin, and he and Cas settled back to watch the remainder of their movie, Cas looking more carefree than Dean had seen him in months._

_“It’s the end,” Cas said quietly, a smile spreading across his face and his eyes looking wet. “It’s terrifying, and I don’t know where to start, but it’s finally the end of having to hide who I am.”_

_“It might be scary, but I’ll help you. When something ends, it means something else starts. We’ll just go from here.”_

_That night, Cas fell asleep easily and peacefully before Dean was even tired. Dean spied Cas’ poetry notebook off to the side of his desk, and he picked it up to scribble a small note in it before laying down in the bed to try and get some sleep himself._

_The next morning, Dean offered to help Cas come out to his mother, but Cas refused, sending him home so he could steel himself for what he hoped would be an understanding conversation._

_Cas paced around his room, putting off going downstairs, arranging and rearranging the things on his desk, when his eyes fell to the poetry notebook. Maybe reading some of his old work would give him the courage he needed. He opened the book to where he had left off writing, but was surprised to see a note written in Dean’s inelegant handwriting._

_**“The end is where we start from.” –TS Eliot** _

_Cas took a deep breath and ran his fingers over the words on the page. He felt a strength course through his body, and without any further hesitation, he spun on his heel and went downstairs to find his mother in the living room, working on a crossword puzzle._

_“Mom,” he said, sitting down next to her and taking her hand. “We need to talk.”_

“I kept that note,” Cas said, laying his head against Dean’s knee. “Every time things got hard, I could look at it and remember.”

“You softie,” Dean said playfully.

“Why that date though? January first?” Cas asked, ignoring the jibe. “There’s other milestones beside me coming out of the closet in our relationship.”

“Because of those words. I wrote them down knowing Eliot is your favorite poet, but I had no idea how true it would be one day. We started from that end, Cas,” Dean said quietly. “We might have loved each other since first grade, but that day you were just so damn brave, and it opened up the possibility of more, even if we didn’t know it. I’ll never forget it.”

“Dean,” Cas said, shaking his head. “Now who’s the softie?”

“Shut the hell up and let me have my moment!” Dean said, and he shoved Cas in the shoulder.

Cas shoved back, and for a thin guy, he was remarkably strong; Dean tumbled to the floor, and Cas followed after him, sitting on his legs and tickling his armpits until Dean laughed to the point of breathlessness. 

“Uncle!” he yelled, and Cas stopped his attack.

“And what do I get for winning?” Cas asked innocently.

Dean grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. Cas tilted his head and deepened it, and Dean let out a small moan underneath of him, rolling his hips upward. Cas responded with a roll of his own, and as soon as Dean began to think about pulling Cas’ clothes off, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket.

Dean ignored it, since it was probably just Sam again, but Cas rolled off of him immediately, receiving a puzzled look from Dean in return.

“It could be important,” Cas said, smoothing his shirt down, yet forgetting about his crazed hair; Dean was struck with a sudden impulse to feel it in between his fingers while Cas used his mouth to-

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas said more firmly, and Dean sighed, reaching into his pocket to extricate his phone.

“You’re killin’ me here, Cas,” he said, and he pushed answer. “Hi, you’ve reached Mr. Blue Balls. How may I cock block you today?”

“Do I even want to know?” Pamela Barnes’ voice said and Dean scrunched his face in embarrassment.

“Shit. Sorry, Pam,” Dean said, but Pamela laughed softly on the line.

“Months of karate class with you two idiots, and you still think I’m surprised by your behavior.”

It was true. Dean and Cas had become quite close to Pam and her daughter Julia over the course of the last few months, even babysitting the runt and her baby brother occasionally when Pam had to work late. Even though they all took the karate class in Lincoln, Dean was surprised to find that Pam and the kids lived in Chesterfield as well. He’d once asked why Pam brought her daughter such a long distance for class, and Pam had just rolled her eyes, saying, “It’s not like there’s a class in Chesterfield. We may as well name the town Bumfuck, Nowhere.”

Now, though, some of Pam’s brashness in her voice was gone, replaced by a sound Dean knew all too well. In a moment of panic, he asked about the first thing that came to mind.

“How’re the kids?”

“They’re great,” Pam said, and Dean sighed. “That’s kind of what I was calling about. I know it’s short notice, but something has come up, and I need a huge favor.”

“Sure, what is it?” Dean asked.

“My cousin just called me, and said my sister was in a car accident. It looks bad. I need to get out to Pennsylvania right away, but I’ve only got money for one plane ticket, and Julia needs to go to school anyway. And she’d miss Isaac too much if I took him with me, even if I could afford it. I hate to ask you, but none of my family live around here…”

“I'm sorry about your sister. Let me check with Cas,” Dean said, and he moved the phone away from his ear to speak to him. “Hey, Julia and Isaac need a place to stay. Pam’s got a family emergency. You okay with that?”

Cas looked at Dean like he’d grown another head.

“Give me the phone,” he said, and Dean handed it over, bewildered. “Pam? It’s Cas. Do you need us to pick the children up from your house?”

Dean’s heart swelled at the look of pure concern on Cas’ face, when Pam presumably said no.

“Okay, we’ll be here…however long you need…that’s fine. Someone should tell the school…does she take any medicine? Do we need to get formula for Isaac?”

Cas continued on with the questions until he was satisfied, and then he and Pam hung up. Cas cast a look over at Dean.

“You really thought I’d say no?” he asked, and Dean shook his head.

“Not really. I thought it would be polite to ask though, since this is our house, not just mine,” Dean shrugged.

“I didn’t ask when I let Fergus sleep upstairs,” Cas said with a hint of disgust. “And I much prefer Julia and Isaac to Fergus.”

“Yeah, well, Julia's four and Isaac is barely six months. And kids don’t tend to be homicidal dicks either.”

“I beg to differ. I saw The Omen. Get your shoes on, we need to go to the store and get some things for children.”

“When will they be here?” Dean asked, toeing into his sneakers.

“Pam said her flight leaves at nine this evening. She'll drop them off around eight,” Cas answered, throwing his own shoes on.

“That’s in five hours!” Dean said, checking his watch. “Why are you in such a rush?”

“I sincerely doubt this home is conducive to childhood safety,” Cas frowned. 

“English, Cas.”

“We need to childproof.”

“So why are we both leaving? I can go to the store myself,” Dean reasoned, but Cas simply smiled.

“Because, Dean,” Cas said, edging out of the front door with the keys. “Buying things for children with you sounds a little like Heaven.”

Dean swallowed. He wasn’t quite sure why, but Cas’ easy words had just filled his entire body with warmth.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas had taken over an hour and a half shopping for the impending arrival of Julia and Isaac, and once home, he had commenced a massive cleaning and safety-proofing of their house.

“Cas?” Dean asked, while he fitted a refrigerator lock on its door. “Is all this really necessary?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked, pressing outlet covers into their electric sockets.

“Dude, you put a lock on the toilet.”

“Precautions, Dean!”

At twenty past eight, the doorbell rang, and Cas jumped up to answer it.

“Sorry!” Pamela said immediately as she came into the house, with both children already in pajamas. “It took me fifteen minutes to get the damn crib apart. I brought the instructions for putting it back together. Here’s their bags.”

Pamela was loaded down with things, and she and Dean got the crib out of the back of her car while Cas entertained Julia and held Isaac. Pamela had no sooner dropped the supplies into the living room when she gathered Julia up in her arms and covered her in kisses.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. No misbehaving, understand? Dean and Cas are in charge when I’m not here. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mommy. Give Aunty Nina a kiss for me,” Julia said, and Pam smiled and sat her down.

“You too, big man,” Pam said, kissing Isaac on his chubby cheek, which caused him to giggle in delight. “No wild parties. No staying up all night. And speaking of bedtimes, it’s past both of yours.”

“Aw, Momma!”

“No ma’am. Bed.” 

“Where?” Julia asked, and Cas reached out a hand.

“I thought you could have _my_ Mommy’s old room,” he said. “Follow me.”

Julia took Cas by the hand, and he led her up the stairs, Isaac still happily gurgling in his other arm.

“Thanks again for doing this,” Pamela said, and she patted Dean on the shoulder. “I owe you.”

“No, you don’t. Take care of your sister, and come home when you can. No rush. Is there anything else we should know? Like, do I need to get up at five in the morning for the kids to be at church tomorrow?” Dean joked.

“Not unless you and Cas go,” Pamela said, and Dean shook his head. “That’s settled, then. Looks like you two have your Sunday free. Bedtime is at eight for Julia, and Isaac naps at ten and three, then usually goes down for the night at the same time she does. I guess I had better go.”

Pam cast a nervous glance up the stairway.

“They’ll be fine. If we have any questions, we’ll call you. Besides, my mom lives next door. She’s a nurse, and she raised two _perfect_ boys, so I think she knows what she’s doing.”

“Thank you,” Pamela said, grinning, and she gave Dean a quick hug before heading off to catch her flight.

Dean waved goodbye, then climbed the stairs quietly. He could hear Cas’ voice coming from his mother’s room, and he carefully walked to the door and peeked in to the lamp lit room. Cas was reading quietly from a children’s book, the dim lamp in the corner casting long shadows across his features. Julia was leaned against his left side, eyes closed and breathing deep and even. Isaac was dozing in the crook of Cas’ arm, his tiny limbs laying still at last.

Cas looked up and saw Dean in the doorway, and he smiled before he continued reading.

“And then the teacher told the little boy to let the flower grow and not pick it. When he asked why, the teacher said it was because if he picked it, the flower would wither and die, but if he left it alone, it would flourish and grow to be enjoyed for much longer. The end.”

“I think they’re asleep,” Dean whispered as he came into the room. Cas nodded.

“They have been for a few minutes. I needed to know how the story ended.”

“You’re adorable,” Dean said, and Cas narrowed his eyes as though trying to judge if he was being teased or not. “Can you lay Isaac down there while we put the crib together?”

Cas carefully moved out of the bed so that Julia was comfortable, and he lay Isaac down next to her. Both children stirred, but didn’t awaken. Cas quietly placed a pillow between them so Julia couldn’t roll over on her brother, and then another on Isaac’s other side to prevent him from rolling completely out of the bed, both far enough down on his body to keep him from laying on one and having trouble breathing.

When Cas was satisfied, he and Dean brought the pieces of the crib upstairs into Naomi’s bedroom to put together. It was a far more complex process than either originally thought it would be. 

“Part 4C goes into part 8B, and secure with two pieces of 7A,” Dean read off the paper quietly, and he searched for the many parts in the pile of wood and hardware.

Cas had a piece in each hand, and he handed the one necessary over to Dean. The two of them working together meant that the crib was finished in record time, the mattress soon placed inside, and fresh bedding spread out over top. Cas picked up Isaac gently, and placed him on his back in the crib, patting his tummy softly when he fussed slightly. Isaac calmed down immediately and returned to sleep. 

Dean watched him do it, an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach; it was almost longing. The image seemed serene in a way he couldn’t have imagined. Soft moonlight drifted lazily in through the window, closed and latched against the chilly autumn evening, to roll across the four post bed and throw strange shadows onto the walls. In the bed, under Naomi’s patchwork quilt, Julia slept nearly soundlessly except for the light snore she produced on each inhale. Cas, Dean thought, was the best part of it all. He completed the picture, with his content smile, his hand still moving soft circles on Isaac’s stomach while the child slept on, at peace. Cas looked up at Dean to see him smiling at him.

“What?” he whispered, but Dean just took him by the hand and pulled him close.

“You’re good at this,” Dean said simply. “But we need to get some sleep. They’ll have us up early in the morning.”

Dean and Cas walked across the hall to their room, and changed swiftly into comfortable pajamas before crawling into bed and entangling their limbs together. Cas rested his head on Dean’s chest, one hand playfully skimming across the muscles there.

“They fell asleep so easily,” Cas murmured.

“They’re tired,” Dean said at once. “Sam used to go down easy like that too, then be up and ready to go at six the next morning.”

Cas fell in and out of sleep on Dean’s chest.

“Julia likes hearing stories,” Cas said thickly, and Dean rubbed his hand up his arm and neck to rest in Cas’ soft, dark hair, where he softly played with the thick locks.

“You have plenty to tell her. I bet she’d enjoy hearing some poetry too. Nothing too dark, though,” Dean said, trailing his hand through Cas’ hair and making the other man exceptionally drowsy. “We don’t want her waking up with nightmares because you decided to introduce her to Poe.”

“I like having them here,” Cas said, his voice barely audible any longer. “It feels…right.”

Dean’s chest gave a lurch, and he meant to ask Cas to elaborate, but the soft breathing and stilled motions meant that Cas had finally drifted off. Dean cuddled in closer (a fact he would deny in front of his brother) and was soon fast asleep as well.

*

“Dean!” Julia’s voice rang out, barely after dawn the next morning. “Dean!”

Dean and Cas barely had time to prepare themselves before a leaping four year old landed on them in the bed, giggling and shuffling her body until she lay down in between them in the cramped space.

“I’m hungry.”

“Good morning to you too, kiddo,” Dean said, and he ruffled her hair. “Your little brother up?”

“Yeah, and he’s stinky.”

“Not it!” Dean called out quickly, and Cas threw him a tired, confused look.

“Not it for what?” he asked, and Dean tried to ignore the way his dark hair was sticking up in every direction.

“As in you draw first poop duty. Enjoy!” Dean leapt out of bed and Julia trailed behind him out of the room. 

Dean and Julia made it to the kitchen, and Dean could hear Cas’ light steps above him, followed shortly by a cooing baby and some happy humming of a Beatles song.

“Sit down, kid,” Dean said, and he began to dig through the pantry. “What do you feel like? Steamed alligator heart? Toenail and fungus soup?”

“You don’t eat that!” Julia laughed.

“Oh yeah?” Dean said, grabbing a jar of pickled eggs out of the fridge; he didn’t much care for them, but Sam did, and he kept a jar on hand for his baby brother. “Look at this. These are pickled dragon eyes.”

“Nuh-uh,” Julia denied vehemently. “Where’s the black part then?”

Dean tried his best to give her a surprised look.

“The pickle juice makes them disappear!” Dean said.

“That’s not right,” Julia said, but she sounded less sure of herself.

“Do you want to taste one?” Dean asked, pressing the jar toward her with a glint in his eyes.

“Dean, stop that,” Cas said with a grin, coming into the kitchen with Isaac happily gurgling in his arms. “They’re just eggs, Julia. We boil them and put them in pickle juice to give them a good flavor.”

“I knew it,” Julia said proudly.

“Do you think I’d let Cas know I had these?” Dean asked, widening his eyes. “Dragons are endangered. I don’t want to get Cas in trouble.”

“Really?” Julia asked, abandoning all pretense.

“Of course! They’re as rare as unicorns. Good thing I’ve got a stock of unicorn meat in the freezer. It’s what I’m making for dinner.”

“Dean!” Cas said, and Dean laughed, making Julia giggle as well.

“Just kidding, Jules. What do you really want for breakfast?”

*

After a long breakfast of bacon and eggs, where Julia had eaten enough bacon to make even Dean seem health conscious, Dean and Cas dressed the kids and let them play in the yard while they loaded the car seats into the Impala. Dean’s initial reaction had been grudging acceptance, but he quickly changed his mind when the kids were buckled in and all four of them were driving to the park. The atmosphere in his car felt full and happy.

Once at the park, Julia made a beeline for the slides, and Cas and Dean took a seat on a bench in the warmth of the sun to allow Isaac to play in the sandbox in front of them. The park was nearly deserted in the morning hours of fall, as most kids were in school, or their parents were at work and unable to bring them. The only exception was a mother talking animatedly on her cell phone and pushing a baby in a swing, while her older child played on the spaceship shaped jungle gym.

“Cas! Look!” Julia’s voice rang out, and Cas looked up to see her swinging upside down from a low bar on one of the pieces of equipment.

“Yes, very good. Now get down from there!” Cas called back nervously, and Dean laughed.

“Relax. She’s a kid, they’re basically invincible.”

“That’s not what you said when I jumped off your shed,” Cas reminded him.

“Yeah, but that’s different.”

_“And the amazing Superman lands a punch on Batman! Batman goes flying backwards!” Dean shouted at Cas, who simply stared. “Cas, you’re supposed to go backwards now!”_

_“Oh, right,” Cas said, and he jumped back and rolled on the ground dramatically._

_Cas played like he was unconscious for a moment, his seven year old body lying limp on the ground, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth like some absurd cartoon he’d seen that very morning. When Dean didn’t come back for his usual attack, Cas peeked to see where he was._

_Dean was standing on top of his Dad’s rickety shed, the aluminum below him catching the golden hues of the afternoon sunlight and casting light up onto his face, making him glow with seemingly otherworldly powers. He was even taller than the wooden fence in his backyard at that height, and a light breeze ruffled the tea towel he had slung around his neck as a makeshift cape. Cas was struck dumb at the view of his taller friend striking a heroic pose, his hands on his hips and his chin lifted high._

_Cas didn’t even think about his next move; nearly before his mind could think, he was scrambling up the small ladder and assorted buckets leaned against the shed to stand atop the structure with Dean. He put his hands on his hips too, and in that moment, nothing could hurt Dean and Cas. They were superheroes, united against everything bad in the world, and fighting together, because nothing could touch the two of them as long as they had each other._

_A car horn blared in the distance, and Dean faked a dramatic gasp._

_“A car alarm! It has to be the Car Bandit! Follow me, Batman!” Dean shouted, and he leapt triumphantly off the shed and landed on his feet in the grass below._

_Cas didn’t hesitate. He jumped too, his shorter frame taking longer to get to the ground, and not landing nearly as gracefully as Dean had. As soon as Cas’ feet hit the ground from the considerable height, he fell onto his hands and knees, and one wrist took the brunt of the fall. He sat up at once to hold it, noticing with a twinge of fear that it hurt, and he couldn’t close his hand._

_“Cas!” Dean said, and he was at his side instantly. “Your wrist! Is it broken?”_

_“I-I don’t know,” Cas said, and Dean pursed his lips before carefully heaving Cas up and helping him into his house._

_“Mom!” Dean yelled, helping Cas to sit on the couch. “Cas is hurt!”_

_Mary came barreling into the living room, her face pale, but she relaxed visibly when she saw it was simply an injured wrist. She sank down next to Cas._

_“Let me see it, sweetheart,” she said, and Cas hesitated._

_Dean sat down next to Cas and took his good hand in his own. Cas took a deep breath and held the injury over to Mary for examination. She poked and prodded, drawing some pained sounds from Cas, but she released it soon after with a smile._

_“It’s just a sprain. I’ll put some ice on it, and the superheroes need to retire for the day. How did you get hurt?” Mary asked kindly._

_Cas glanced back over at Dean, who was still holding tight to his good hand. He and Dean had just met at the start of that school year a few weeks prior, and Cas recognized a new, fluttering sensation in his stomach when the boy grinned sheepishly at him, as though to say it was okay to tell the truth. The smile sent Cas’ heart hammering in his chest. He looked back at Mary and said the most truthful statement of his young life, though he wouldn’t recognize it as such for years._

_“I fell.”_

“Why was that different?” Cas asked Dean, while carefully making sure Isaac didn’t eat the sand in his hands.

“Because I did it first, and you got hurt from following me,” Dean said quietly.

“I would have followed you no matter what idiotic thing we were doing, the same as now,” Cas said, nudging Dean with his knee. “If you fall, I fall.”

Dean was struggling to find a way to respond to that when the dark haired kid from the spaceship toy plopped herself down in front of Isaac in the sandbox.

“Hi,” she said to Dean and Cas. “I’m Sophie. Who are you?”

“Hello, Sophie,” Cas said, not thrown by the girl at all. “My name is Cas. This is Dean.”

Sophie’s large eyes looked at them, down to Isaac, and back up again.

“Is he your baby?” she asked, brow knitted in confusion.

“No, we’re babysitting,” Dean said, amused at the girl’s brashness. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re both boys, and Mommy said only a boy and a girl can make a baby.”

“Oh,” Cas said, clearly surprised at the mature turn of events. “Well, Sophie…we don’t make a baby. If two boys want one-”

“You have to get one that falls off the baby truck. I know all about it,” Sophie said wisely.

Cas closed his mouth, the conversation apparently having driven off without him. Even Dean looked confused.

“I…what?” Dean asked in his usual eloquent way.

“Well, Mommy said that the baby truck only brings the babies for the Mommy and Daddy to put together. But if it’s two boys or two girls, they can’t make the baby on their own, so they have to wait for one to fall off the back of the baby delivery truck so they can make it together.”

Sophie was looking at Dean and Cas as though this should be an obviously known fact.

“Sophie, I don’t think-,” Cas began, but Dean elbowed him painfully in the ribs.

“That’s right!” Dean said brightly, and the little girl smiled widely.

Dean looked back up to the girl’s mother, who was still on her cell phone, completely unaware that her daughter had changed areas of the park and was talking to two strangers. Dean narrowed his eyes, wanting to see her care that her daughter was no longer beside her in the spaceship, but the woman never even glanced to the side to check.

“Hey, Sophie,” Dean said, leaning in conspiratorially. “How do you think the babies get in the baby delivery truck to begin with?”

Sophie opened her mouth to answer, but snapped it back shut when she realized she didn’t have the answer.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“I bet your Mommy knows all about it. Just be sure to ask her what happens nine months before the babies are delivered on the trucks.”

“Thanks! I will!” Sophie said, and she leapt to her feet, calling across the playground. “Mommy! Where are the babies nine months before they get delivered?”

Dean snorted out a laugh, and Cas turned a disapproving eye on him.

“Was that really necessary?” he asked, and Dean shrugged.

“Probably not, but it should make for an actual conversation tonight instead of Cell-Mom over there,” he answered, and was pleased to see a look of confusion and shock on the mother’s face as Sophie continued her line of questioning. “I know it’s a hard subject, but kids shouldn’t be lied to.”

“You would make an excellent father, Dean,” Cas said, and Julia came running up to them, out of breath.

“Can we get ice cream?” she asked, and Cas was already agreeing as he picked Isaac up out of the sand.

Dean walked quietly with Cas, who had Isaac in one arm and was clasping Julia’s hand with his free hand. They talked about serious four year old business, like why the tooth fairy didn’t visit old people when their teeth fell out, or why some letters had to look so much like each other. Dean hardly participated in their conversations, though he made sure to answer every time Julia asked him a question. Inside, his stomach was tied in excited knots, and every time Cas looked at him, they tightened uncomfortably as his heart felt like it swelled three sizes.

Cas thought he would be a good dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always, ALWAYS lay your baby on their back to sleep, never on their stomachs, as stomach sleeping can lead to SIDS. Avoid putting unnecessary bedding, pillows, toys, or blankets in with the baby for the same reason. This has been a PSA. I hope you liked the chapter! University has started back, and I'm working full time, so if chapters may take a bit longer to get out. Thank you for reading/commenting/leaving kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

Pamela called that evening, after the children had been given baths and eaten dinner, and Julia was laying on her stomach in front of the television watching The Little Mermaid.

“Is that Mommy?” she asked, as soon as Cas answered the phone.

“Yes. Would you like to speak to her?” he asked, and Julia jumped up to grab the phone.

“Mommy! I miss you so much…they’re both really nice. Dean didn’t care when Isaac pooped on his hand today…I _am_ being good. I haven’t said any bad words at all…I love you too. How is Aunt Nina? ...Mommy? Okay, here he is,” Julia handed the phone off to Dean, then retreated back to her movie.

“Hey, Pam,” he said, while Cas took over changing Isaac into pajamas.

“How are the kids doing?” Pam asked, and Dean could immediately tell something was wrong.

“They’re awesome. How’s Nina?” he asked, and Pamela sniffed audibly over the phone.

“She didn’t make it,” she answered in a hollow voice.

“Damn, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do?” Dean asked, and Cas glanced up at him over the baby.

“No, you’re already doing enough. I have to stay out here a few more days for the service, and to help Mom out. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’m kind of glad I didn’t bring the kids along now, even if they had gotten a chance to say goodbye. They didn’t need to see this…I’m an awful person for that, huh? Don’t even want my own kids here,” Pamela sighed, sounding exhausted.

“You’re doing what’s best for them. Stay as long as you need. We’ve got this covered, Cas is a natural,” Dean replied, and cast Cas a wink, making him blush.

“Thank you. I’ll call you again tomorrow. Give the kids a goodnight hug from me. And Dean…don’t tell Julia. I’ll talk to her when I get home.”

Dean agreed, not knowing how he’d even bring up the subject with Julia, and he and Pam ended their call.

“Alright, it’s bedtime, Squirt,” Dean said lightly.

“Aw! I wanted to see how it ends!” Julia said, sticking out her bottom lip.

“I’ll read you a story. How about that?” Cas asked, and Julia leapt to her feet.

“Yeah! Can you read me some of that Tin Stickman story?” she asked, pulling at his hand.

“The Tin Woodman of Oz,” Cas corrected her, and Julia just nodded.

Isaac started to get fussy, and Cas looked torn.

“Hand over the Poop Factory, and I’ll get him down to sleep,” Dean said, reaching his hands out, and Cas handed him the baby. “You go read your Tin Stickman of Id.”

“It’s Tin _Woodman_ of _Oz_ , Dean!” Julia said indignantly, and Cas grinned as she huffed off toward the stairs, pulling him behind her.

“You better watch out,” Dean whispered to Isaac, rocking him in his arms. “Cas is going to turn your big sister into a nerd.”

Isaac looked up at him with wide brown eyes, not caring what he was saying, but intrigued by the sound he made, so different from his own mother’s voice. Dean checked his diaper, found it was dry, and commenced to rocking the tired infant to sleep. He hummed quietly and bounced slightly, like Sam used to enjoy when their Dad did it to him, and Isaac drifted off to sleep immediately. Dean climbed the stairs slowly with the light weight of the sleeping boy in his arms. He walked in to Naomi’s old room, where Cas was still reading to a lively Julia, and placed Isaac down into his crib before throwing a wink at Cas and walking across the hall to their room to change into pajamas himself.

Dean closed the door until it was nearly shut, keeping it slightly open so he could hear the story Cas was telling. Cas had just ended a section when Julia’s quiet voice slipped through the door and Dean heard it clearly.

“How does The Little Mermaid end?” she asked quietly, and Cas was silent for a moment. Dean could picture the look on his face when he began to think something over in his mind.

“If I tell you, it will ruin the movie for you,” he said finally.

“I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t know. Do they fall in love? And do they get to live happily ever after?” Julia asked, and it was clear the topic serious to her.

“You really will not sleep without an answer?” Cas asked, and Dean presumed Julia shook her head. “If you wish…yes. They fall in love and live happily ever after.”

“Is that what happened with you and Dean?” Julia asked, and Dean felt his heart skip a beat. In the other room, Cas had fallen silent again, and Dean listened intently to what he would say.

“Yes,” he said with such complete happiness that tears very nearly sprang to Dean’s eyes. “I think it truly is.”

“Then you get to live happily ever after!” Julia said excitedly, and Cas shushed her, reminding her of her sleeping brother.

Dean was standing exceptionally still in their room, one leg in his pajamas and the other still unclothed, waiting for the conversation to continue. He didn’t know why, and he’d certainly never admit it to his brother, but thinking his life was like a fairytale made him happier than he should have been.

“You need to get some sleep,” Cas said softly. “You have school in the morning.”

“Can I hear your story?” Julia asked, and Dean could hear her yawn.

“What story?” Cas asked, the bed creaking under him as he climbed out, followed shortly by the sound of rustling blankets as he tucked Julia in.

“Your fairytale. You and Dean.”

Julia’s voice sounded sleepy, and Cas waited a moment before he responded.

“If you promise to be good at school tomorrow, and go to sleep now, then I see no harm in that being your bedtime story tomorrow night. Is that a satisfactory deal?” Cas asked.

Dean rolled his eyes. Only Cas would use the word satisfactory when speaking to a four year old. Julia, however, must have been ahead of the game in vocabulary, because she understood Cas perfectly.

“Yes. ‘Night,” she said sleepily, and Dean heard Cas cut off her bedroom light.

Dean shoved his other pants leg on ungracefully and sat on the bed, waiting for Cas to come in. Cas walked in and cracked the door open behind him in case one of the children woke up at night, and changed into his bed clothes. Dean lay back on the bed and stretched out, his arms behind his head to watch Cas change.

“So,” he said when Cas had finally joined him, and they lay face to face. “Am I Ariel or Eric in our fairytale?”

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean gently before pulling away and resting his hand on Dean’s hip.

“You are you, and that is all I could ever ask for.”

*

Breakfast was a rushed affair the next morning, and Dean let Cas feed Isaac while he threw his clothes on, and got Julia ready for school as well. Pamela had informed the school of the issue with her sister, and the bus that ran through Cas and Dean’s part of town knew to pick her up there instead. Dean gave Cas a quick goodbye kiss, and he and Julia went out to wait for her bus. Soon, it was rounding the corner, its red lights flashing and the illuminated stop sign on the side folding out to signal traffic to come to a halt. Julia threw her arms around Dean’s legs, and boarded the bus happily.

Dean felt an odd sensation creep through him at seeing her go, and he watched nervously as she moved to the middle of the bus and plopped down in a seat, talking animatedly with the person next to her. She caught his eye as the bus pulled away and waved and then pointed, nudging her friend, and Dean could see her mouth forming the words, “That’s Dean.”

Dean grinned and climbed into the Impala to go to work.

*

_Buzz._

His damn phone was going off, and Dean was elbow deep in the front of some baby shit yellow, ugly as hell modern car, which of course meant that the fan belt was nearly impossible to get to in order to change. He’d already dinged his knuckles badly while trying to get the old greasy piece of rubber off, and the jump he gave when his phone buzzed caused him to twitch and promptly lose his grip on the _new_ greasy piece of rubber. Perfect.

He sighed, and wiped his hands on a rag before pulling out his phone to see who the text message was from. His brow furrowed when he saw it was Cas. He never texted Dean at work. Dean opened the message immediately, afraid that something had happened to one of the kids.

_**What are you wearing?** _

What was he wearing? Dean glanced down at his greasy mechanics uniform, smudged with oil and dirt from lying under and on cars all day, the blue beginning to fade in places. 

_Uh, my uniform? I’m at work._

He sent the message, and was surprised when he nearly instantly received a reply.

_**I like your uniform.** _

_That’s…good? Is everything okay?_

Some of Dean’s confusion must have shown on his face, because Garth was casting him odd looks over the Pinto he was working on at the other side of the shop.

_**Dean, I believe this is where you ask me what I am wearing so I can say “nothing”.** _

Oh. _Oh._ Dean didn’t know when Cas had discovered sexting, but he wasn’t about to pass this opportunity up.

_So, what ARE you wearing?_

_**Nothing.** _

_With a baby in the house?_

_**Isaac is asleep Dean. I would never roam around nude with a child in my presence.** _

Dean huffed out a laugh at Cas’ extremely proper texting etiquette, then sent a quick text before setting his phone down to give one last go at the fan belt.

_Tell me about that sexy body._

Dean pulled up at the fan belt, finally securing it in its rightful place, and had moved on to changing spark plugs and checking fluids when his phone buzzed again.

_**Why don’t you see for yourself?** _

And, God help him, Cas had sent a picture. 

It was taken in their bathroom in the reflection of the mirror. Cas stood in front of the sink, his face as serious as it ever was, with a hint of mischief in his bright blue eyes, his hair an absolute mess. Dean’s eyes trailed down his naked torso, across the lean and toned shoulders and arms, down his abs, and across the dusting of dark hair below his naval. The picture cut off right above where things _really_ got interesting, but it gave Dean enough of a view to get his heart hammering and his dick hardening in his pants. He texted back quickly.

_Are you trying to kill me?_

“Bobby! I’m taking my break!” Dean said, and nearly sprinted out to the back of the garage.

He opened the door to their old storage shed, and stepped inside, ignoring the musty smell and the random assortment of spiders. He had just closed the door when his phone rang.

“Did you take your break?” Cas’ asked, sounding slightly out of breath.

“Yeah, how did you know?” he asked.

“It’s three. You always take your break at three,” Cas said, stuttering through some of the words.

“Cas?” Dean asked, and his eyes widened when he heard a slight gasp over the phone.

“I love when you say my name,” Cas nearly whispered.

“Holy _shit_. Are you… _damn_ ,” Dean said, unable to form coherent sentences.

He checked to make sure the door was locked.

“Dean…take off your pants,” Cas said, and Dean nearly dropped the phone in his haste to comply. “Mmm…I wish you were here with me right now. Doing this to me instead of me having to do it alone. But it feels so _good_ , Dean. Are your clothes off?”

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean said.

“Good…touch yourself. Pretend it’s me. Ah…my hand, twisting over your dick, squeezing it just the way I know you like…”

Dean closed his eyes. It wasn’t hard to pretend it was Cas, jerking him off while looking at him with his beautiful eyes, so full of want and love. Dean let out a tiny moan, and Cas responded with one of his own.

“Does that feel good?” Cas asked.

“Ohhh…yeah…” Dean breathed. “I want you to enjoy this too.”

“I am,” Cas said simply, and if the sounds were anything to go by, Dean didn’t doubt it. “But I’m-mmm…I’m not done with you yet. Lick your hand.”

Dean swallowed thickly, and brought his palm up to lick it, pleased that he barely had any grease on himself at all.

“Now, use that hand on yourself…your thick cock,” Cas said, and Dean curled his toes at hearing his polite Cas use those filthy words. “I want you to pretend it’s my mouth…ah, Dean…I _want_ it to be my mouth. Want to s-swallow you down…lick and suck…”

Dean’s hand sped up as his breathing grew more rapid. On the other end of the phone, Cas was moaning and gasping while he kept talking, explaining everything he wanted to be doing to Dean.

“I’d suck you until you were about to come. But I wouldn’t let you…mmm…because I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me so hard that I’m sore tomorrow…ohh, just like that…my hole will be stretched around you, hot and tight.”

Dean was thrusting wildly into his hand now, gasps and moans intermingling with desperate calls of Cas’ name, as quietly as he could manage to avoid being caught.

“I love how you feel when you’re filling me up. When your hard dick is all the way inside me…ahh…I wish you were filling me up right now, coming inside me…but it’s just my fingers.”

Dean had a sudden image of Cas sprawled out on their bed, phone on speaker next to his head while one hand jacked himself off and the other pumped fingers in and out of his ass.

“Oh, it would feel good…I want you to fuck me…Dean,” Cas breathed Dean’s name out, a mixture of a plea and pure sex.

Dean imagined Cas under him, calling his name out that way while he pounded into him repeatedly.

“Cas,” Dean said, more of a moan than real speech. “Don’t stop… _Cas_.”

“Ahh, Dean! I’m coming!” Cas said from the other end of the line, and Dean heard Cas’ breathing hitch, followed by the most sinful sound he’d ever heard: a combination of “more, yes, more!” and “Dean!” spilling from Cas’ mouth.

“Cas!” Dean shouted, and he was coming too, in thick, hot bursts onto the dusty shed floor, his knees shaking and his chest heaving.

He collapsed down into an old chair, spent, and he and Cas spent several seconds catching their breaths together on the line. Dean was able to speak first.

“How the _hell_ did you find out about phone sex, and why didn’t we do it before now?” he asked, and Cas gave a breathless laugh.

“One of my classmates brought up how phone sex is nowhere near as sexy as reading a love poem, and I wanted to test the hypothesis.”

“And what did you discover, Doctor Novak?” Dean asked, a goofy smile pulling at his face.

“Well, our comforter now needs to be washed, and since this fluid has never been on any of my poetry books, I believe she may have been wrong.”

Dean laughed at that.

“I love you. I need to get back to work, though, before Bobby comes looking for me. That’s all I need is for him to find me naked from the waist down, in the shed, with jizz all over the floor.”

“I love you too. And surely the floor has enough grease to hide the bodily fluid?”

“Grease is black, Cas. I just shot white,” Dean said, looking at the mess.

“Technicalities. I’ll see you this evening. Julia has requested tacos.”

“Then tacos it is. I got to clean this up. Bye, Cas.”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

*

Dean had returned to the shop, the mess cleaned up, and himself cleaned up, though he didn’t appreciate the annoyingly knowing looks that Bobby shot him the rest of the day. He finished up work on the yellow piece of garbage, and had moved on to a truck when it was time to close up for the day. He changed out of his work uniform, a dirty thought going through his mind when he remembered how much Cas had said he liked it, and took off for home.

The smell of tacos greeted him seconds before a little ball of energy wrapped around his legs, nearly knocking him over.

“Cas made tacos! Cas made tacos!” Julia said excitedly.

She grabbed Dean’s hand and led him to the kitchen, where Cas was placing the last bowl of taco ingredients on the table. Isaac was strapped into his high chair, and Julia slid in to a seat next to Dean. The group ate in controlled chaos, with Isaac clumsily attempting to eat strained green beans, Dean slipping him a bite of refried beans, and Julia laughing happily when Cas complained about it. Isaac didn’t complain; he much rather preferred the refried beans over the green concoction in his jar, though Cas told Dean that he’d be the one staying up if Isaac had gas, since it had been his idea to feed it to him at all.

Dean looked around the table at Cas’ genuine smile at cleaning Isaac’s little hands off, and Isaac who seemed to be happy just to have Cas in front of him. Dean glanced at Julia, who had somehow managed to pack a taco full to the point of it hardly closing, then cramming a gigantic bite into her mouth. The scene felt good, right. Even if Julia and Isaac weren’t his and Cas’ children, even if they had to return to their loving and capable mother, Dean knew this was what he wanted.

*

Baths were a much welcome event that night, since both children were covered in different food. Pamela called after bath time again, to let Dean and Cas know she would be returning home the day after next. Dean and Cas fell into the routine from the night before, but this time, Dean put Isaac to sleep first and lay him in his crib, before returning to his room and cracking the door open. He was just as excited as Julia to hear tonight’s story.

“Story time!” Julia said excitedly, and Cas shushed her as to avoid waking Isaac. “Sorry. But I get to hear your fairy tale!”

“You do,” Cas said, and he paused, trying to decide how to start.

“So? Start!” Julia said, then quickly added, “please.”

“Well, Dean and I met when-”

“No, you have to start off with ‘once upon a time’!” Julia said happily, and Dean smiled at that, wondering what Cas’ face looked like.

“Once upon a time, Dean and I were in first grade, and a little boy was being quite rude to me. He was a bully, and was trying to get me to eat a worm," Cas said, and Julia made a disgusted noise. "Dean stopped him, and we became best friends.”

“Your knight in shining armor,” Julia said in an awed voice, and Dean had to stifle a laugh.

Cas moved through their story, telling it as honestly as he could with a four year old as his audience, and Julia listened in rapt attention. Cas told her about the poetry, the stay in the hospital, the “bad guys” they had faced together. He told her about their first kiss, the compass he had given Dean, and the pocket watch Dean had given him the night he proposed. Dean was surprised at how much it did sound like a real fairy tale: two people who fell in love, fought their villains, and emerged victorious and happier than ever. 

Fifteen minutes after beginning, Cas finished up the story, and Julia gave a sleepy sounding and content sound.

“You have your happily ever after now,” she said, voice slurred with exhaustion. “You got your prince and Dean got his, and all the bad guys are gone. You can be _happy_.”

“I am,” Cas said, sounding positive of that fact.

“But what about babies? Don’t you want babies?” Julia asked, and Cas fell silent. When he spoke again, his voice wasn’t harsh, but it certainly wasn’t the easy, friendly tone he’d had only moments ago.

“I believe it’s time for bed. Goodnight, Julia.”

Dean heard Cas turn off the bedroom light, but instead of coming into their room, Cas made his way back downstairs, and judging by the sound of the faucet, he had gone to the kitchen. 

Cas didn’t come back up the stairs in the next few minutes, and Dean was far too surprised to go downstairs to find him. Cas had sounded short with Julia when she had asked about the possibility of Cas and Dean having children. Dean knew it was a technical impossibility, but there was always adoption and foster care. Cas didn’t sound expectant about the prospect. In fact, if Dean were being honest, Cas hadn’t seemed excited about the idea at all. Certainly not in the same way he had been feeling while taking care of Julia and Isaac.

Dean rolled back over in bed. But what about Cas telling him he wanted to shop for children’s things with him? That he’d make a good dad? Dean tossed the words over in his mind. Perhaps…perhaps Cas had meant shopping for two children they knew and cared for would be fun. He hadn’t meant it as a hint toward a _future_ ; he had meant it as enjoyable in the present. And as for being a good dad? Maybe Cas meant that Dean would have made a good father, if he had been given the chance with someone who wanted a family.

It was still early in the night, but Dean suddenly wanted nothing more than to sleep. In the space of a few days, he had found a dream for the future, only to have it snatched away. He wasn’t going to force Cas to do something he was uncomfortable with. If Cas didn’t want a family, then they wouldn’t have one.

*

Cas stood by the faucet and poured himself some water. Julia’s question had shaken him. He had seen Dean’s affection with the children in the past few days, watched him take on this role of something more than a simple babysitter. Dean’s face lit up when Isaac reached out to him, or when Julia sat by his side and lay her head on his arm while watching Disney movies. Dean wanted this. It was easy to see.

Cas felt it, too. He had never had brothers or sisters, or much experience with children outside of school. Yet, he knew he wanted to be a father. Being with Julia and Isaac had intensified this desire, and he knew the affection would be even greater with his own child. Or with Dean’s child. He imagined a baby with bright green, inquisitive eyes, freckles sprinkled across his nose, with light brown hair, calling him and Dean daddy. Something lurched painfully in his chest. Even though Fergus was now in prison, his words to Cas still echoed in his head. _Dean has prepared his whole life for a female soulmate_. Instead, he was saddled with Cas. Yes, they may have accidentally fallen in love, but Cas could never give Dean one thing he wanted desperately.

He could never give Dean a family.

He tried to shrug off the guilt, but it weighed on him heavily. Cas plodded to the living room and turned on some mindless sitcom, hoping to draw his mind away from what he could never have, what Dean deserved, and what he himself wanted so badly it was as though he had a constant stomachache. He briefly thought of going upstairs to sleep in his bed, but the thought of holding Dean while he slept, touching this beautiful man who deserved a child of his own when Cas can’t give him one, as badly as he wants it himself, hurt too much to consider. He fell asleep on the couch, curled up uncomfortably, and only awoke in the morning when he heard Dean’s alarm from the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas and Dean hardly spoke over the next few days. They would take turns feeding and changing Isaac when he awoke at night, and made friendly talk in front of the children, but both felt like something had broken. Dean even took to driving Julia to school in the mornings so he could leave a few minutes early. Friday was no exception. Dean and Cas awkwardly avoided each other in the morning, and only gave quick hellos to each other over the breakfast table. Cas fed Isaac his bottle, and pretended to listen dutifully to the story Julia was telling the two of them about robots fighting monsters on the playground. When she finally finished, taking in a deep gulp of air due to her windedness, Dean wasted no time in standing.

“You ready, short stuff? Your mom comes home today, but you still need to ride the bus here, okay?”

Julia nodded, and she followed Dean to the car after giving Cas and her brother a quick hug. Dean spared a glance over his shoulder at Cas. He was sitting in a kitchen chair, spit up rag thrown over his left shoulder, feeding Isaac. The boy reached up and squeezed at Cas’ chin, still slurping his bottle happily, and Cas gave the child a fleeting, sad grin.

Dean closed the door behind Julia and himself, and they set off in his car. His brain was being assaulted with the image of Cas and Isaac, and the serene image they made sitting in the early morning light of their kitchen. What if it wasn’t Isaac? What if Cas were sitting in the chair, feeding a child that had his own bright blue eyes? Dean smiled to himself. A baby Cas, quizzical looks and all. He nearly laughed at the thought of a baby inheriting Cas’ confused head tilt, the narrowing of his eyes when he was thinking, or his love of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

But Cas didn’t want children. His stomach turned cold at the harsh reminder.

“Are you sick?” Julia piped up from the rear.

Dean turned down the Aerosmith tape playing. Ever since she had started riding to school with Dean, Aerosmith had become Julia’s favorite band. She always requested the same songs over and over, but she was beginning to branch out from the more widely known songs and into the fan favorites. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud.

“I’m good, kiddo. Why?” Dean said, pulling his attention to her.

“You look like my Mommy does when she’s thinking about something. Or you look like you’re going to throw up. Since you aren’t sick, what’s wrong? Can I help?” Julia’s eyes, full of concern, met his in the rearview mirror.

“Just thinking about Cas and I having a family,” Dean said, wondering if that was too much for a child to process; his fears seemed confirmed when Julia looked puzzled. “Forget I said anything. I’m okay.”

“But you and Cas _are_ a family,” Julia said slowly.

“I meant, you know…kids and stuff,” Dean said to her.

“Oh, that,” Julia said, waving her hand in a way that reminded Dean of his mother when she was tired of his antics. “You don’t need babies to be a family, silly.”

“Is that so?” Dean said, amused. He tossed her a teasing smile. “That’s what a family is, isn’t it? Parents and their kids?”

Julia pursed her lips.

“To be a grown up, you don’t know a lot. Mommy says a family is what you make it. So, like it or not, you and Cas are a family.”

Dean nodded slowly. He was not going to cry in front of a kid. 

“You’re awful smart for a runt, you know that?” Dean said lightly.

“I know. It’s ‘cause I watch Sesame Street,” Julia stared out the window and unbuckled her seat belt when Dean pulled up to drop her off at school. 

“Have a good day,” Dean said, preparing for Julia to run off as usual.

Instead, she seemed to think for a moment before speaking, climbing out of the car but not closing the door behind her.

“I hope Mommy brings Aunt Nina home so she can be part of my family too. Then we’d have six people. That sounds like a good number.”

Dean ignored the twinge of guilt about the news Julia was going to get from Pamela when she arrived home, and tried to lighten the mood.

“Unless your mom popped out two more kids I don’t know about, that would only make four. You, your brother and Mom…and your Aunt.”

“You forgot you and Cas,” Julia rolled her eyes, oblivious to Dean’s shock. “I’ll see you at dinner!”

She slammed the door closed and scampered off to the entrance of the school. Dean pulled away, happy at least in the knowledge that he wasn’t crying in front of her.

*

“Your hands are too filthy to put in your mouth,” Cas said gently, and he pulled Isaac’s fingers out of the boy’s mouth to wipe them with a wet wipe before allowing the child to continue playing in the sandbox.

Isaac simply gurgled a response and went back to digging a hole with the fingers of the other hand.

Cas couldn’t stand the silence when Dean had left the house, though he had noted the look Dean had given him while he was feeding the baby. Cas tried to ignore it, tried to force away the realization that Dean wanted children and Cas couldn’t provide him with those. It hurt him to the core. He had packed up Isaac into his stroller, bundling him up in too many clothes, and walked the distance to the park.

The day was chilly, but the walk was enjoyable, and Isaac adored playing at the park. Cas sank back on the bench, taking in the crisp smells and bright colors of autumn. He had brought his book of T.S. Eliot poetry, and when he opened it, it fell to his favorite poem.

_Let us go then, you and I,  
When the evening is spread out against the sky._

No, his favorite poem only stood to pain him more. He didn’t want to think about Dean, about the future his best friend could have had if only he’d been soulmated to a woman. Cas flipped the pages randomly, wanting another poem to free his mind of Dean, if only momentarily. He landed on the Four Quartets, and quickly read the first one to distract himself, careful to keep an eye on Isaac as well.

_What might have been and what has been  
Point to one end, which is always present._

Cas sighed and slammed the book shut with a loud snap. Eliot wasn’t going to help him today.

“Cas?” a familiar voice called from his right, and he glanced up to see Anna standing there. “Hey! What are you doing out?”

“Babysitting,” Cas answered, moving over to allow her room to sit on the bench. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Cancelled, so I thought I’d bring my work to the park,” she said, indicating a massive textbook with papers sticking out haphazardly. 

“Anything I can help with?” Cas asked, and Anna raised her brows.

“Yes, if you happen to have a secret skill with Finite Mathematics I don’t know about.”

“Oh, then no. I only like letters when they’re forming words, not paired with numbers,” Cas said, and Anna laughed.

In front of them, Isaac again raised his sandy hand to his face. Cas reacted quickly, but he was too slow to prevent the crunchy pieces from going into Isaac’s mouth, and as soon as he felt them, the child began to cry loudly, sputtering.

“Come here,” Cas said gently, and he picked the boy up before reaching into the diaper bag for a dry rag.

Isaac slapped his hands at Cas, annoyed at his efforts to clean his tongue off, and cried louder.

“Now, I told you not to put your fingers in your mouth,” Cas chastised softly, knowing the baby didn’t understand. “You need to be still so I can clean it out. Shh, it’s alright. You’re okay. I’ve almost got it all…there. All done.”

Isaac hiccupped and blinked before throwing himself into Cas’ arms and holding tight.

“Well, someone loves you,” Anna remarked. “You’re great with kids.”

Cas gave a hardly noticeable flinch, which would have been easily overlooked by someone who hadn’t known him for most of his life.

“What did I say?” Anna asked, but before Cas could answer, she added, “And don’t say ‘nothing’, because I call bullsh-crap. Bullcrap.”

She looked nervously at the baby, afraid he’d pick up on the word, but he was still hugging thankfully and tightly to Cas, who stayed quiet.

“Dean and I can’t have our own children,” Cas finally answered.

“Sweetheart, please tell me you aren’t just figuring that out,” Anna said, eyes wide with amusement. “Because I know you were sheltered, but you need sperm _and_ an egg-”

“I’m serious,” Cas said, and Anna sobered at once.

“What happened?” Anna said, placing her textbook to the side to give Cas her full attention.

“We’ve been babysitting Isaac and his sister this week, and Dean clearly loves them. He wants to be a father so badly, and…Anna, I can’t give him children. I can’t give him something he could have had if only he had been soulmated to a woman.”

“Cas,” Anna tried to interject.

“And he deserves it! He’s amazing with Isaac and Julia, even though his own father was terrible…I shouldn’t speak about him like that- but he was. And I think Dean wants to have his own children, which he should, of course, but he can’t because _I_ can’t-”

“ _Cas_ ,” Anna said, putting her hand on his leg. “Dean loves you. You have to stop with this whole unworthy thing. He’s been yours since the day you met. What about if there wasn’t a soulmate spell? If we chose our own mates? Don’t you think Dean would still pick you?”

“I-I don’t know,” Cas said quietly.

“He would,” Anna reassured him. “There’s more to life than babies and reproducing, and you and Dean have it. And if you both decide you want little creatures running around and pooping everywhere, then there’s always adoption or something. You need to talk to him about this, instead of taking out your anger on your poetry book. Seriously, you slammed that thing so hard I think it set off my car alarm.”

Cas managed a lopsided smile.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” she said, and checked her watch. “I’ve got some time. Do you and the baby want to go get some lunch?”

“That sounds wonderful.”

*

By the time Dean got off work, he had played Julia’s conversation over in his head a hundred times or more. For a four year old, she gave some damn good advice. He knew he had to talk to Cas about this. If Cas didn’t want children, then they’d discuss it and make that decision together. It hurt, but Dean wanted Cas to be happy more than he wanted hypothetical children. Besides, that’s what nieces and nephews were for.

When Dean pulled into the driveway, Pamela’s car was there, and she and Cas had already loaded everything back into it, including the clothing she had left for the children that Cas had insisted upon washing.

“You two did all the work, huh?” Dean asked when he came into the living room.

“Well, someone had to,” Pamela said, and Dean walked to her to throw his arms around her for a hug; she looked exhausted.

“You sure the rugrats don’t need to spend another night here? You look like you could use a nap,” he said, but Pamela shook her head, picking up Isaac from Cas and holding him close.

“Thanks, but I really just want some time with the kids,” she said, and she looked over to the couch where Julia sat so silently that Dean hadn’t even noticed her.

“Hey, Jules,” Dean said, and she raised a tear-stained face to him.

Pamela met his gaze, and Dean knew instantly that she had told Julia about Nina. Cas sat next to her, in the seat Pamela must have just vacated, attempting to console her. Julia sniffed and rose to walk to Dean. Her mother and Cas watched questioningly, and when she finally reached Dean, she wrapped her arms around his waist and started to sob into his hip.

“Whoa, whoa,” Dean said, dropping to her level immediately to give her a hug. “It’s going to be alright, kiddo.”

“There’s only five now,” Julia wailed, pulling back to look Dean in the eyes.

“Five what, sweetie?” Pam asked, confused, but Julia kept talking to Dean.

“We were supposed to be six, but now there’s only five,” she cried, and Dean wrapped her in a hug.

“Hey, we’re all still here. You’ve got us,” Dean said, and Julia tilted her head to meet his eyes. “Besides, five is a good number too. You know, Aerosmith only has five members.”

“R-Really?” she asked, and Dean nodded.

“Hey, I got something for you,” he said, and he quickly reached to the top of the television stand for a burnt cd. “I’d give you the tape, but all the cool kids have music on iPods and stuff now. You upload that to your computer and put it on your iPod, and you’ll be the coolest kid at school. Well, to me at least.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Julia said, and she gave him a quick hug. “Mommy, can we go home?”

“Yes, baby. Boys, thanks again,” Pamela said, and she hugged them both tightly before leaving with the children.

An odd silence fell over the house. After a week of having children around constantly, the quiet was jarring. There was no crying baby who wanted a bottle, or a diaper change, or just to have Cas make silly faces at him. No wild stories were being told my Julia, no demands for popsicles or tacos. The only indication of the past week was the stack of Disney VHS movies on the tv stand, and the quiet sound of Tarzan playing in the background.

“So,” Dean said, trying for normalcy.

“We need to talk,” Cas said suddenly.

“Wow, getting straight to the point,” Dean said wryly. “Look, I already know what you’re going to say, and-”

“Dean!” Sam’s voice called from the entranceway. 

Dean gave an exasperated sigh.

“Just two minutes of calm. That’s all I need,” he said, and he pinched the bridge of his nose as Sam and Jess came into the room. “Come on in.”

“Can we talk to you?” Sam asked Dean, and he cut his eyes nervously over to Cas. “Sorry, Cas…can we have some privacy?”

“Of course. Go into the study and I will shut the door.”

Sam and Jess followed Dean into the study, and Cas closed the door before heading back to the kitchen. He didn’t like the sound of Dean knowing what he had to say, especially in that tone of voice. Dean sounded resigned, upset. Cas’ stomach twisted nervously as he made himself a quick sandwich and a drink, and he sat at the table, trying to ignore the unnatural quiet that had blanketed the home.

*

“Do you know the day I’ve had?” Dean asked his brother in the closed room. “Seriously, what was so important it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

Jess twisted her curls nervously, her hands shaking wildly, and Sam paced the room. Something was very, very wrong, and Dean’s mind automatically went to one subject.

“Is Mom okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, Mom’s fine,” Sam answered, and Dean gave a small sigh of relief.

“Then what the hell is it? You two are acting like there’s a mafia hit out on you.”

“Dean…we don’t know what to do. I swear, it was an accident. Oh God, we are so dead,” Sam said, and Jess sat down on a chair to calm her shaking knees.

“Holy shit, Sammy. Did you kill someone?” Dean pressed, and Sam shook his head.

“No!”

“Then spit it out! I’m thinking the worst here! Jesus, I’m thinking someone’s dead, or I don’t know, you knocked Jess up or something!” Dean shouted.

Sam stopped his pacing and looked up at Dean in fear, and Jess started to cry softly in her chair.

“Oh, fuck,” Dean said, his eyes widening. “Sam, did you…Jess, are you pregnant?”

Jess sobbed harder in her chair, and Dean expected Sam to go to her, but he didn’t move. He stood quietly, waiting for Dean to speak.

“You’re just a kid,” Dean said, shaking his head. “A dumb kid.”

“I’m not a baby anymore!” Sam said, finding his voice.

“You’re barely fifteen! What the hell were you thinking?” Dean said loudly.

“It was an accident! I didn’t mean for this to happen!” Sam yelled back.

“An accident?” Dean scoffed. “What, you just accidentally had sex? Dammit, you know to use protection!”

“I did! But the condom broke,” Sam said. “What are we going to do about it?”

“The baby is not an _it!_ ” Jess said loudly from her seat. “There’s not a problem to be solved, it’s just a matter of telling everyone.”

“Are you crazy?” Sam countered. “I’m not telling your dad! He’ll kill me!”

“You need to step up and do your part here,” Jess said, standing to face Sam with a look of ferocity. “You helped make this baby, you can help explain this baby.”

“They don’t have to know,” Sam said, pleading. “I mean, you can go to the clinic, and-”

“You better not be suggesting what I think you are, Sam Winchester,” Jess said coolly, and Sam, for his part, backed down. “Because this baby isn’t going anywhere for nine months.”

“Jess…Jess, we can’t raise a kid. Would you just think about this?” Sam asked loudly.

“I _am_ thinking, Sam! And if you don’t want to help, you don’t have to. We aren’t soulmated. There’s no reason for you to stick around.”

Sam clamped his mouth shut at that. When he spoke again, it was with a soft, dangerous tone.

“You’re right. We aren’t soulmated. Since there’s no reason for me to ‘stick around’, I think I’ll just go home.”

Sam left immediately, and Jess sank back down into her chair.

“That was stupid,” Dean said, and she shot him a glare. “I don’t just mean you. It’s Sam too.”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Jess said, tears stinging her eyes again.

“You work it out. Look, I’m not the poster boy for chick flick moments, but it’s times like this that you need to have a talk,” Dean said.

“I don’t want to,” Jess said honestly.

“So what, then? You’re just going to say it’s over? All because you want to keep this baby, and Sam says he doesn’t. It’s an adult decision to have sex, so you have to be prepared for adult consequences. If you can’t agree, then yeah, maybe you should go your separate ways. But it’s not like you’re going to stop loving him. Can you look at me and honestly say ‘I don’t love him anymore’?” Dean’s voice rose and fell with emotions.

Jess gave a small sob.

“I love him so much,” she said. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“You’re going to go to Mom’s house and talk about it,” Dean said. “Decide together what you’re going to do. That’s the first step. And you’re welcome here any time. Come here.”

Dean helped her up and, for the second time that night, wrapped a crying girl up in a hug.

“You’re just a kid, and accidents happen. But you’ll get through this.”

“Thanks, Dean. I think I’ll go talk to Sam.”

*

Cas had just finished his sandwich when he heard Sam angrily burst through the study door. He quickly made his way back down toward the room to check on him.

“Sam?” Cas asked, and was surprised when Sam turned around, anger on his face. “Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not. I’m going home. I’m not going to argue over a baby.”

With that, he turned and stormed out. Cas felt his chest tighten. A baby? Was Dean discussing their problems with Sam and Jess? Sam had been angry…was he upset with Cas as well? Against his better judgment, Cas edged up the hall and near the door to the study. Perhaps if he could just hear what Dean was thinking, it would put his mind at ease. He listened quietly; Jess’ voice was much too soft to hear, and Dean’s could only be heard when it rose with emotion. Cas stood perfectly still, wanting to hear as much as he could.

Soon enough, he could make out some of what Dean was saying to Jess behind the closed door.

“Say it’s over…because…baby…adult decision…should go…separate ways…I don’t love him anymore.”

Cas couldn’t breathe. He walked swiftly back to the living room and sank into a tattered couch. That’s why Dean had been upset earlier. He was ending this. He wanted to separate from Cas because they couldn’t have a baby…he didn’t love him anymore.

Cas leaned over on himself, not even noticing when Jess left quickly without saying goodbye. He wanted to cry, wanted to pour every bit of the sadness and betrayal he felt out of his body in any way possible. Cas balled his hands into fists at his side, and another, less expected emotion rose in him.

Anger.

He had done nothing but love Dean. He had stood up to Crowley for him, offered all he had to give, and for what? To be tossed aside because Dean has years of pent up daddy issues, and spent a week with someone else’s children, only to suddenly decide he wants his own? No, if he can’t take Cas for who he is, including the inability to have biological children of their own, then separating is probably for the best.

Cas heard the door to the study open and Dean trudged out, looking weary and worried. Cas was on his feet before Dean even had a chance to sit down.

“You knew what being soulmated to me meant, Dean,” he said, lifting his gaze to glare at Dean. “If this one issue is going to be what divides us, that’s fine. You told your brother and Jess before me, and that hurts. But I believe you were correct. Maybe it’s best if we do separate.”

Cas stalked off toward their room, and Dean heard the door slam. He stared, utterly bewildered. He quickly scanned over what he could have done to piss Cas off that badly. The only issue was Cas not wanting children, and Dean wanting them. Yet rather than talk, Cas just wanted to go ahead and separate. Dean ran his hands over his face and began to walk toward their room. It was time he take his own advice and talk things through. Damn these chick flick moments.

“Two minutes,” he grunted under his breath as he climbed the stairs. “Two fucking minutes of peace is all I need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, poetry credit goes to the amazing T.S. Eliot. That was quite a bit of angst, but hang in there. Another chapter will be coming soon.


	5. Chapter 5

“Cas?” Dean asked, stepping tentatively into the bedroom.

Cas was busy at his desk, writing furiously in his poetry journal while classical violin music played loudly through headphones pressed against his ears. He hadn’t even heard Dean enter the room. Dean watched him intently for a moment as Cas scribbled a few lines out in the book and wrote fresh ones, then gave a heavy sigh and pressed the headphones closer against his head.

“The future lay crumbled,  
the city had been sieged.  
How can there be a future,  
with a past as bright as fiery gold,  
and a present more dull than an oft used guillotine?”

Cas read his work aloud, the words filled with emotion as he struggled to find the next line in his poem. 

“So it goes in love and war,” Cas said while writing his thoughts down. “And endings come to both.”

Dean didn’t realize he had crossed the room until he was directly behind Cas, heart pounding in his chest at hearing just how broken his best friend was. Cautiously, he reached his hand out and pulled the headphones away from Cas’ left ear. Cas jumped, then tensed, keeping his eyes cast down at the paper. He removed the headphones and lay them on the desk.

“Was I not clear enough earlier?” he said coolly, and Dean sighed.

“Look, man. I get that you’re pissed.”

“What gave it away?” Cas snapped back.

“The poem comparing us to the fucking French Revolution was a big hint,” Dean huffed back, then caught himself. “This isn’t helping. I’m not one to talk about my feelings and shit. But this? Something is going on here.”

“I don’t think it can be fixed this time,” Cas said, and the honesty with which he said it caused a pang of hurt to ripple throughout Dean. “I heard what you said to Jess.”

“You were eavesdropping?” Dean asked, and Cas finally turned to meet his gaze, only to find an eyebrow cocked in surprise. “Look at you, Mr. Manners himself listening in on conversations.”

“Only because Sam told me about arguing over a baby. I suspected it, but hearing the words from your own mouth was painful.”

“You suspected that? Why the hell didn’t you tell me instead of having to hear about it from Sam and Jess?” Dean pressed. “Jesus, I could have prepared myself for that news.”

Cas frowned.

“Why would Sam and Jess know about this?” he said, confused.

“How the hell could they not? I mean, she’s the one knocked up,” Dean replied.

“She-what? What are you talking about?”

“What the hell are _you_ talking about?” Dean answered, bewildered, and Cas broke.

“I can’t have babies! I can’t have them, and you want them! I heard you talking to Jess about wanting to end this, that you don’t love me anymore,” Cas rambled on, and Dean’s eyes lit up with understanding. “And I understand. I know you planned on being with a female soulmate, having children of your own, and since I can’t give them to you, you want to end our relationship.”

Cas stood abruptly and walked to the bed, where he sat down all the way against the wall with his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“So just go. I can’t give you what you want, and you deserve it, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean said, crossing the room to sit next to him. They both stared ahead as they talked, unwilling to look each other in the eye. “To be so smart, you’re dumb as hell sometimes.”

“Thanks,” Cas said sarcastically. “That’s helping this breakup feel much better.”

“We’re not breaking up…unless you want it,” Dean admitted, feeling as though the air was punched out of his lungs at the very thought. “But at least listen to me before you make up your mind. What you heard, I was saying that stuff to Jess. Her and Sam are having a hard time right now, and she was considering breaking it off with him. I was talking about her situation, not ours.”

Cas looked over at Dean with a glimmer of hope, and Dean pressed on.

“But I get it. This past week with Julia and Isaac made me realize how badly I do want some kids of my own. And I know you don’t, so…so that’s fine. We’re already a family, and even if we never have kids, you’re all I really need.”

“Dean,” Cas said, shaking his head. “I want children too. Why would you think I don’t?”

“Julia asked you, and you weren’t happy about it. I just thought- wait, you want kids?”

“Of course I do,” Cas said. “I was only upset by Julia’s question because it made me remember my shortcomings as your soulmate. I cannot bear children.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’ve known that all along, you know,” he said, and Cas gave a small laugh. “Cas, you don’t have any ‘shortcomings’. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cas said, and he moved closer to Dean so that their shoulders brushed in the comfortable way they’d always had between them.

“So are we okay?” Dean finally asked.

“I think so,” Cas answered, then as an afterthought, added, “And I promise not to listen at any more doors.”

Dean laughed at that, then quickly remembered the conversation Cas had overheard.

“Oh, shit. Jess and Sam.”

“Is she really-?” Cas asked, and Dean nodded.

“Yeah. You think they told Mom yet?” Dean asked. “I’m not risking a call.”

Dean pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and texted his brother.

**You still alive?**

“What are they going to do?” Cas asked, his hand finding Dean’s to hold tightly.

“They’re just kids. I don’t know what they’re going to do.”

Dean’s cell pinged with a response, and he read it quickly.

**_Can you meet me at Mom’s with Cas? In about ten minutes?_ **

**Yeah, you okay?**

**_No._ **

“Damn,” Dean said, and he showed Cas the texts.

Cas immediately stood and began to get ready to go, and Dean clambered up after him.

“I'm nervous too, but we have time to get next door,” he said, and he took the opportunity to pull Cas to him for a quick kiss.

“Your brother asked for us to be there for him. I will always come when you call, Dean. But I will also do the same for Sam.”

Cas left to find his shoes, and Dean followed to throw his on as well. After a good five minutes, he found his second shoe behind the chair in the study, where he didn’t even remember taking it off. Cas grabbed two jackets from the closet, the chill of the late autumn air at eight in the evening too much to bear without it. He and Dean set off for Mary’s and knocked on her door in minutes.

“Come in, boys. I was just going to make some hot cocoa. Would you like some?” she asked, and Dean cast a glance around for Sam.

“Please,” Cas answered, and Dean nodded as well.

“Is Sam here?” he asked, and Mary shook her head.

“No, he went to walk Jess home. What’s going on?” Mary asked.

“It’s-ah, nothing, Mom. Nothing.”

Mary lifted her chin and steadied Dean in her gaze; she may be shorter than her son, but the motherly look she leveled him with was enough to bring a much larger man to his knees.

“Dean Winchester, don’t you dare lie to me.”

Dean chewed on his lip. This really wasn’t his news to tell.

“I-I can’t,” he said.

Mary opened her mouth to offer an argument as to why he _would_ be telling her, but Dean was saved any further pressure by Sam opening the front door. Jess stood at his side, tears streaming down her face, and Sam dropped an enormous pink and green striped duffel bag onto the floor with a heavy thud. Mary took in the scene for a matter of seconds before she spoke.

“Sam, take that bag to your room, then come back down here to talk,” Mary said, and she automatically went to Jess to hug her tightly before leading her to the couch to sit.

“But you don’t even know why she’s-” Sam began, but Mary cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter _why_ , it matters that she’s here now. Hurry back.”

Mary sat on the couch next to Jess and indicated for Cas and Dean to have a seat in the other chairs as well. Sam was back quickly, and he sat down at Jess’ other side to hold her hand softly.

“Now,” Mary said, her voice gentle and calm. “Explain.”

Sam looked at Dean with absolute terror in his expression. Dean gave a small nod, and Cas smiled reassuringly at Sam, which seemed to give him the power to confess.

“Mom…Jess is pregnant.”

Mary pursed her lips slightly, but reached out to take Jess’ other hand. Jess looked up at her, her mascara running down her face and body shaking and heaving with sobs. She looked on the verge of breaking apart, and more like a scared child than a fifteen year old should. Jess swallowed, and took a deep breath, expectantly waiting for the hammer to fall from Mary and shatter her into a thousand pieces.

“How do you feel about moving in?”

Jess dropped her head onto Mary’s lap and cried harder than ever, and Mary ran her fingers through her hair until her breathing returned to normal.

“It’s alright,” Mary said. “Everything will be fine. We’ll go to the doctor on Monday, get you on your prenatal vitamins, and see how far along you are. Why don’t you go take a warm shower and get some pajamas on? I’ll have some hot cocoa waiting for you when you’re done.”

Jess sat up, sniffing, her eyes puffy and red, and her hair a mess.

“Thanks, Mrs. Winchester. I’m so sorry,” she said, and she hugged Mary before standing.

“None of that. What’s done is done, and you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Jess nodded and headed off upstairs to take her shower. Once she had gone, Mary turned her attention back to the boys.

“Mom…I’m sorry too,” Sam said. “The condom broke, and I know it’s no excuse, but I’m sorry.”

“Sam, these things happen. I’m not happy about it, but we have to live with the consequences, so we may as well make the best of the situation. I take it her parents reacted badly?” Mary asked.

Sam huffed a dark laugh.

“Yeah. She was crying, and we tried to tell them, but Mr. Moore guessed what it was right away. He asked if she was pregnant, and when she said yes, he told her to get out.”

“Do we need to go back and get her things?” Mary pressed, and Sam shook his head.

“No. They told her to get some clothes and get out. Never come back.”

“But is there anything else she _wants_ from her room?” Dean asked, and the attention turned towards him. “I can be persuasive if I need to be.”

“Dean, that won’t be necessary,” Cas said, placing a hand on his knee. “Because I fully volunteer to do it myself.”

“I don’t think she wants to go back,” Sam answered honestly.

“I think we could all use some cocoa,” Mary said softly, and she rose to go to the kitchen to make it.

Once Mary was out of earshot in the kitchen, Sam stood to hug his brother tightly.

“I’m sorry I was an ass,” he said. “Thanks for coming over here.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Dean answered, but Sam had already moved on to hug Cas, who looked surprised at the contact.

“You were here,” Sam said. “Both of you.”

*

Dean and Cas showered and changed when they made it home that night, and Dean practically collapsed into bed.

“That was one hell of a Friday night. I wish I meant that in a good way,” he said, voice muffled by the pillow before he turned on his side to face Cas. “Tomorrow has to be better. The universe can only throw so much shit at you before it gives you a break.”

“I hardly think we’re the most affected by the events of the day,” Cas said in his clinical tone.

“Way to make a guy feel like an ass,” he said and Cas grinned before turning to face him as well.

“My apologies. You truly have the worst life imaginable. No one has it worse than you. I don’t know how you survive.”

“You’re an asshole,” Dean said, but he couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face.

“I’m not the one comparing my pain to others,” Cas said, his smile mirroring Dean's.

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas gently, bringing one hand up to cup the side of his face. When he pulled back, Cas breathed out slowly and contentedly.

“That’s one way to stop that smart mouth,” Dean said, and Cas raised his eyebrows.

“There are others,” Cas answered, and he sat up in the bed before pushing Dean over on his back.

Cas pushed Dean’s pajama bottoms and boxers down and off, throwing them into the floor, before kissing his hips and gently scratching at Dean’s inner thighs.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Dean said, looking down at Cas, who settled himself between Dean’s legs and looked back at him with large blue eyes.

“I want to,” he said simply, and he moved his hand to stroke Dean a few times.

Dean’s hips jerked upward and Cas grinned. He placed his hands on Dean’s hips to keep him in place, then licked a warm stripe up his hard dick, firmly planting his hands again when Dean tried to move. He met Dean’s eyes, and slowly lowered his mouth over the head of Dean’s throbbing dick, swallowing him up until he reached the base, his eyes never leaving Dean’s.

“Ahh…feels good,” Dean slurred, and Cas raised his head back up slowly, repeating the motions. “So deep…”

Cas hummed his approval and raised back up again, Dean rested his hand on Cas’ soft hair, and tugged slightly at the dark locks. Cas winked at him, then plunged back down, hard and fast. Dean nearly bucked off the bed as Cas took him in again and again, seeming to go harder each time, and Dean could feel himself being taken deep into Cas’ hot throat. Cas kept up the pace, slamming down with moans of pleasure and sucking slightly on each pass upward.

“Cas…ah, you b-better slow down…I’m close already,” Dean said breathlessly, and Cas came off of his dick to move up to kiss his neck and collarbone, biting and sucking little marks.

“That’s what I want,” he said, and he wrapped a hand around Dean’s cock to jack him while he worked on Dean’s neck with his mouth.

He moved up to kiss and nip at Dean’s ear, breathing into it lightly.

“Want you to come in my mouth,” Cas said in a gravelly voice, and Dean thrust his hips up.

Cas moved back down to his dick and took him into his mouth again, setting a relentlessly fast pace of deep throating and sucking, all while never breaking eye contact.

“C-Cas,” Dean moaned, staring into his eyes. “Don’t stop…mmm, just like that…Cas!”

Dean’s mouth fell open as he came down Cas’ throat. Cas slowed his pace down, sucking gently and swallowing all of Dean’s release until Dean finally relaxed back onto the bed, utterly spent. He vaguely recognized the sound of Cas shucking off his pants and boxers, and the small moans and grunts of pleasure Cas was making as he jerked himself off, thrusting into his own fist. Dean wanted to help, but his body was exhausted from the emotions of the day and the mind-blowingly good orgasm Cas had just given him.

“Felt good to be in your mouth,” he said, and Cas’ eyes jerked open in surprise at hearing Dean say something dirty; Dean did note that his hand sped up slightly, and decided to keep going. “You took it all…you’re so damn sexy like that. Your hot mouth on my dick, sucking it all up. Want to see you come. Come for me, Cas.”

Cas let out a lingering moan, and came at the sound of his name, thrusting slowly into his hand to ride out the waves of pleasure. When he finally stilled, he was breathing heavily, and sweat poured off of his body. He grabbed his discarded boxers off the floor and cleaned up before thudding down next to Dean in the bed.

“We need our pants,” Dean said, motioning to the floor.

“Mmf,” Cas managed to say.

“Come on, dude. Are we going to be that couple that sleeps in t-shirts and nothing else?” Dean prodded Cas halfheartedly with a finger, and Cas threw his arm around Dean’s middle to tug him closer.

“Tonight? Yes.”

Dean meant to argue the point, to say that it was nearly winter, they needed to put on pants, needed to have some sort of civility in how they behaved in bed, but Cas was warm. He was comfortable and smelled like home, and Dean soon fell asleep wrapped in his arms, all complaints forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please accept this offering of smut as my apology for the angst.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanksgiving came quickly that year. Jess was growing bigger and bigger, her pregnant belly tiny on her small frame. 

“We need to make pies,” Dean said one night at Mary’s house. “Come on, Thanksgiving is in two days. We need a plan. Help me out here, Jess.”

“We need, like, three kinds of pie,” she nodded in agreement. “The baby wants it.”

“You’re barely three months in,” Sam said, but he smiled happily, putting a hand on Jess’ belly.

“You had me craving chocolate chips and shrimp at one month, mister,” Mary said with a wink at Jess. 

“I still don’t know how you didn’t know you were pregnant earlier,” Dean said to Jess. “I mean, how do you not know you’ve got a baby in there?”

“It’s because my cycle isn’t regular. It’s not weird for me to go months without getting my period. You want all the details?” Jess teased, and Dean shook his head frantically.

Mary chuckled at Dean’s discomfort, and changed the subject.

“Pies sound perfect. Cas, are you making them?”

“Yes!” Dean supplied before Cas had the chance. 

“Apparently I am,” Cas said, raising a brow at Dean.

“Oh, Dean! I had a really good idea about how you could do your cake for the wedding!” Jess said suddenly, and Dean groaned.

“I love you, kid, but you’re killing me here. You’ve planned everything. We’re done.”

“Weddings are never done!” Jess exclaimed.

“Cas, say something,” Dean pleaded, and Cas sat down his mug of hot cocoa to concentrate on Jess.

“What’s your idea?” he asked seriously, and Jess lit up.

Dean groaned loudly and complained that he might as well be marrying Jess at this point, to which Sam complained, and Dean hastily admitted he was only joking. 

The banter between her kids, blood and adopted, continued, and Mary picked up her needlework, content to just listen.

*

“That’s the last one, right? We ready to go to Mom’s?” Dean asked Cas on Thanksgiving morning.

“Yes,” Cas said, sighing happily as he pulled a steaming apple pie out of the oven to join a chocolate silk pie, and a pecan pie, both cooling on the counter.

“Dude, they look awesome,” Dean said, and Cas wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead before turning the oven off with a click. 

Dean came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, peppering his neck with kisses.

“You know,” Dean continued kissing his neck, up to Cas’ ear. “We could always be a little late. Or not go at all.”

“Dean,” Cas breathed out, and arched his back to press into Dean’s body, before turning to face him. “You’re only saying that so you can keep all the pies.”

“Am I that obvious?” Dean smirked, and he kissed Cas softly. “You got me. But I still love you more than pie.”

“I’m flattered,” Cas said wryly. “Grab those two and follow me.”

They made their way over to Mary’s house, where the smell of her cooking wafted down the short hall and into the warm living room, where Jess and Sam sat, holding hands and watching the Macy’s parade on television.

“Slackers,” Dean said, kicking the door shut quietly behind him.

“She wouldn’t let me help,” Jess said indignantly. “Something about the heat and stress being too much for the baby.”

“I made the mashed potatoes,” Sam piped up, and Jess rolled her eyes.

“Yes, sweetheart, those instant potatoes can be tricky.”

Sam put his hand over his heart, faking extreme hurt.

“I slaved over a hot microwave for five minutes, just for you to complain?” he gasped.

Jess laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. Dean pretended to gag, and followed Cas to the dining room, where Mary had laid plates of delicious looking food. There were Sam’s potatoes, green beans with heaps of melting butter, stuffing, buttermilk biscuits, and, in place of pride in the center of the table, a browned and steaming turkey, fresh from the oven and piping hot.

“These look wonderful. Here,” Mary said, and she took the pies to the refrigerator, only leaving the apple one on the table to cool off. “Sam! Jess! Come eat!”

Sam and Jess made their way into the room, and the group settled in around the table. Mary sat at the head, a habit she adopted the first Thanksgiving after John had passed away, and Dean had begged her to not leave his seat empty. Sam and Jess sat on one side of the table, still teasing each other relentlessly and Cas sat next to Dean across from them, hand coming to rest peacefully on Dean’s knee.

Mary stood at her seat, and the voices around the table grew quiet as she said the prayer.

“Dear Lord, thank you for what we have, and not just today. May we not take it for granted. Thank you for our health and happiness, every day of the year. Amen.”

They dug in with fervor. Around bites of the delicious food, they retold family stories that they knew from heart, just to relive the moments. Dean shared the time when Sam had gotten a plastic army man stuck up his nose, and Mary had to drive him to the hospital, where he proceeded to sneeze and launch the piece of plastic at the kindly old doctor. Sam countered with a story of Dean fishing when he was younger, pulling his pole back to cast, and somehow lodging the three pronged hook into his own underwear. Mary quieted the war by telling Jess about how Dean and Sam had both begged to go to a haunted house as children, and were so terrified when they emerged that they slept in her bed for a week.

“On to tradition,” Mary said, when Dean and Sam recovered from their embarrassment. “We need to go around the table and say what we’re thankful for. Who wants to go first?”

When all of the kids avoided her gaze, as usual, Mary grinned.

“Looks like I’m first again this year. I’m thankful for all of you, and how close we are. Next?”

Sam spoke up in a small voice.

“I’m thankful you let me and Jess stay here. And that the baby is healthy.”

Mary beamed, and Dean spoke next.

“I guess I’d have to say I’m thankful we live next door to someone who can cook,” he joked, and Cas managed to look amused and offended at the same time. “But yeah…I’m thankful for Cas.”

Cas’ nose turned pink at the compliment, but he took his turn next.

“I’m thankful to Michael Milton for trying to get me to eat that worm in first grade,” he said shyly. “I wouldn’t have met Dean for years without that.”

“We should go find it. The worm, not Michael, I mean. I’ll build it a little worm house,” Dean said, and he nudged Cas with his knee while giving him a wink, and Jess laughed. “It can be our pet. We’ll teach it our ways, dress it in human clothes. And when it wants to go home, we ride our bikes over the moon-”

“Dean, that’s the plot of E.T.,” Cas said, laughing loudly.

“You’re so _weird_ ,” Sam joined in laughing, and they only stopped when they realized Mary was looking at Jess expectantly.

“Oh…my turn,” Jess said, and she paused for a moment. “I’m thankful that I have a family again, that I love. I’ve got a mom, two big brothers I never really wanted, but couldn’t live without, and you, Sam.”

She grinned widely and reached into her pocket, producing a sonogram picture.

“Not to mention the little one. I know I told everyone the baby was healthy at the visit to the doctor yesterday. But I didn’t tell you that the doctor was able to tell me the gender.”

She looked at Sam, whose eyes were wide with excitement.

“Do you want to know first?” she said, and he nodded.

Jess leaned down to whisper in his ear, so softly that no one at the table had any idea of what she said. Sam’s face broke into a grin, and he wiped hastily at his eyes before Jess stood up again. She kept her eyes trained on Mary, who was nearly bouncing out of her seat with excitement.

“Think you can handle another boy?”

The hush that had settled over the room exploded. Mary cried and leaped up to hug Jess and Sam, and Dean and Cas jumped up to do the same. Everyone was talking excitedly, animatedly, and Dean looked around at his family, happily planning for the future. He felt a pain in his chest, but it was instantly replaced by happiness when he saw the look of pure joy on Sam’s face as he grasped him in a tight hug.

“Can you believe it?” Sam whispered into Dean’s ear, and Dean hugged him tighter.

“Congratulations, man,” Dean said when they broke apart. “Here’s hoping he doesn’t get your hair.”

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, and ended with Cas’ delicious pies. Dean had a slice of each one, and by the time they headed back home, his stomach was full to bursting. He could barely stand to look at the leftovers when he put them in the fridge. They climbed into bed early that night, wrapped around each other in the chill of the old house, even with the heat cranked high.

“Did you have a good Thanksgiving?” Dean asked sleepily, and Cas nodded.

“It was hard without Mom, but yes. You made it perfect. You and your attempt at passing off E.T. as your own story.”

“I still say we go find the little bastard. Take the worm in, raise him as our own,” Dean said, and Cas nudged him with his elbow.

“Earthworms don’t live that long,” Cas said, and he yawned.

“No way. I remember Mrs. Adler telling us about that one that lived ten years back in fourth grade, remember?” Dean pressed.

“Dean, Mrs. Adler was a barely functioning drunk. Besides, even if it’s true, that was an exception, not the normal life span. I think they only live a year or so, which means our worm has been dead for a very long time.”

Dean rolled over onto his back, and he suddenly laughed.

“What?” Cas asked.

“I’m lying in bed with my best friend, on Thanksgiving night, arguing over the lifespan of an earthworm, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s perfect. _You’re_ perfect.”

Cas rolled over to kiss Dean on his hair, inhaling the sweet scent.

“And you need to get some sleep,” he said, and tucked himself against Dean’s side. “I promised Jess we’d go shopping tomorrow.”

“Aw, Cas, why?” Dean sighed. “I hate shopping on black Friday.”

“Because she wanted to go, and you don’t argue with a pregnant lady. Especially the one carrying our nephew.”

Cas took Dean’s silence as acceptance, and was soon asleep beside him, breathing deeply. Dean lay awake, though, the words flowing over him. Sam wasn’t just becoming a father.

He and Cas were going to be uncles.

*

Cas finished up his exams soon after Thanksgiving, and he and Dean celebrated with dinner at Halmeoni’s. Annie showed them to their favorite booth, and happily chatted with them for a few minutes, anxious to hear every detail of their lives since they had last been to see her.

“And you! College is good?” Annie asked Cas sharply, and when he agreed, her face softened. “I know you do fine. You have passion. Anything possible with passion.”

“Doesn’t hurt that he’s smart as hell too,” Dean said with a wink, and Cas blushed.

“Smart and handsome. How you get so lucky?” Annie teased Dean, who shrugged good naturedly.

“How are you doing?” Cas asked her, anxious to change the subject.

Annie sighed, then smiled at Cas before placing her hand on his arm.

“I do okay. Sometimes I hear a laugh, and think it him. I get sad, but then happy. You know why?”

Cas shook his head slowly, and Annie squeezed his arm.

“Because I lucky enough to hear it again. Even if it not him, I can pretend. Now! No sad today. I bring you best mondoo in the country!”

Annie bustled off to the kitchen, and Cas looked up to see Dean watching him across the table.

“How about a walk after this?” Dean asked suddenly.

“You and your walks,” Cas said, grinning. “Yes.”

Annie, true to her word, brought the boys heaps of freshly made mondoo, a small bowl of kimchi, and even some of the goguma Dean had come to favor. They ate happily, praising Annie’s cooking every time she passed the table, and were soon stuffed and content. Annie made her way back over to their table soon after.

“Dessert?” she asked, and Dean and Cas groaned in response.

“Just the bill, please,” Dean said. “I think my body weight is forty percent mondoo.”

“No bill,” Annie said sternly, and when Dean began to argue the point, she cut him off. “No! Eli love you two like sons. Family eats free.”

“We can’t just eat all that and leave!” Dean protested. “That costs money to buy. It’s not fair to you.”

“What’s not fair is Eli and I having no kids. You my boys. You _his_ boys. And I say you no pay.”

She glared at Dean, who backed down immediately.

“Yes, ma’am. Thanks, Annie.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, and she wrapped both boys up in tight hugs before they left. “Come see me again soon.”

Dean and Cas left the restaurant and walked downtown, the chill of the early December air causing them to bundle up and shiver slightly. They walked down lit streets, bright with Christmas decorations and the multitude of lights from big city living. It was far from quiet; cars drove past, inhabitants called out to one another in the twilight, and horns blared when drivers were cut off. But to Dean and Cas, the movement of the city was mesmerizing. After living in tiny Chesterfield, any trip to Lincoln was an adventure.

They wandered the city for as long as the cold would allow, hands entwined, pointing out various sites and festive holiday decorations until their noses began to chill and shivers ran rampant through their bodies. Dean led Cas back to the Impala, and once inside, he fired it up and blasted warmth throughout the car. He began to drive, though not the way they normally returned home. It was several minutes before Cas noticed.

“Where are we going?” Cas asked, looking at the unfamiliar terrain.

“Almost there,” Dean grinned, and soon he was pulling onto a winding gravel road.

Cas craned his neck to see where they were headed. Quite suddenly, the view shifted from tall trees to a clearing, and Cas was hit with the sudden image of the Lincoln skyline across the water. Dean pulled up slowly, and cut the lights off, leaving the car idling to give them some heat in the cold winter night. The lights from Lincoln glittered on the water, as though a second city was laying underneath the gentle ripples. In front of them, Lincoln rose up in tall metal spikes against the night sky, dotted with lights and life.

“This is beautiful,” Cas breathed out, and he moved closer to lay his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I thought you’d like it,” Dean murmured. 

“I wish I had my poetry journal with me,” Cas admitted.

“What, no violin music this time?”

“You’re all the inspiration I need.”

Dean settled back into his seat and linked his fingers with Cas’, who gave them a small squeeze before bringing Dean’s hand to his mouth to kiss. Dean watched Cas staring out into the view, the lights reflecting off his blue eyes.

“I’m in love with you, you know,” Dean said softly, and Cas turned to look at him curiously.

“I know. I’m in love with you, too,” Cas said.

“Hey, I’ve got this crazy idea,” Dean said in a teasing tone. “Let’s get married.”

“Hmm,” Cas replied, kissing Dean on the cheek. “I think you already asked me.”

“Yeah, but I never get tired of hearing you say yes.”

“Well, then yes, Dean Winchester. I’ll marry you. At least I’m not in drag this time.”

Dean laughed and pulled Cas into a soft kiss. The first of January couldn’t come quickly enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these two together. They make me all happy inside! Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out, but college has been hectic. There's a lot more to come for the boys and their family. And if you're interested in seeing the view Dean took Cas to see, here's a picture! http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/dc/a7/dca7a17e84009f4b520e30386cb686d4.jpg?itok=AaGLYFkm
> 
> Also, special shout out to a03 user doievenputanamehereorwhat who commented asking if I was okay, and said they were a fan! I've got fans from acting, but not my writing, and I have to say I squealed a little at the compliment!


	7. Chapter 7

“What did you get me for Christmas?” Dean asked over the dinner table one evening.

“Coal. And a sack of old newspapers,” Cas said, straight faced.

“Dude, come on. You’re killin’ me here.”

“You’ll survive.”

Dean had been pestering Cas to tell him what his Christmas gift was so often that Cas had started comparing him to a child on Santa’s naughty list. That had inspired a particularly suggestive comment from Dean, and the rest of the night had been lost to their shower and bed.

Cas waited until he was certain Dean was asleep the night before Christmas Eve (“It’s Christmas Eve _Eve_ , Cas!”) and snuck downstairs to put the finishing touches on his gift for Dean. He carefully wrapped it and placed it under the tree. It had taken weeks of preparation, scouring both his house and Mary’s, to finally complete, but when he crept back upstairs and climbed into bed, and Dean wrapped his arm around him sleepily, he knew it would be worth it.

The next morning, Cas came downstairs to find Dean sitting under the tree, eying the new parcel, and he questioned Cas intermittently about it for the rest of the day. The evening found the couple sitting comfortably in their living room, watching _The Christmas Story_ on repeat and drinking some beers. Dean launched into his routine, and Cas answered his rapid fire questions.

“Is it something I can use on my car?”

“No.”

“Did I see it in a store?”

“No.”

“So it came from online?”

“No.”

“Hey Cas?”

“Dean,” Cas said, exasperated. “You have less than twelve hours until Christmas morning. As much as I love you, and as much as I love children, you _acting_ like a child makes me want another beer.”

Dean closed his mouth, but instead of looking offended, a slight smile began to work its way across his face. By the time he was seated next to Cas on the sofa, he was grinning widely.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said. “I shouldn’t have chastised you for excitement.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ve been an annoying little shit on purpose,” Dean said, and he pulled Cas into his lap, kissing him on the nose. “I wanted to see how long it would take before you’d either yell or cave. Sammy and I did that to Mom and Dad when we were kids.”

Dean placed another string of kisses down Cas’ cheek, chin, and onto his neck.

“And you didn’t do either,” he said, placing one last kiss on Cas’ collarbone.

“I yelled,” Cas answered, staring down at Dean with half-lidded eyes.

“You didn’t even raise your voice. And you said you loved me,” Dean chuckled. “If that’s you yelling, you can do it every day.”

Cas bent down to capture Dean’s lips in a kiss, before sliding off of his lap and going to sit under the tree. He picked up the present he had wrapped for Dean the night before, and looked at it thoughtfully.

“So you don’t want to open it now?” Cas asked, tilting his head.

Dean was at the tree in an instant, sitting cross-legged next to Cas with his eyes wide.

“Really?” he questioned.

“No,” Cas said, grinning. “But since you have been insufferable for days, I thought I owed you that.”

“Damn!” Dean said, and Cas lay back on the floor, laughing until tears pooled and fell from his eyes.

Dean laughed too, and collapsed next to Cas on the floor, both sprawled out under the twinkling Christmas tree, the sounds of the holiday movie playing softly in the background. Dean clutched one hand to his stomach, now aching from the laughter, and he and Cas settled down until only the hiccuping sounds of lingering giggles remained.

“Yeah, I deserved that,” Dean said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“You did,” Cas agreed, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Dean raised up on one elbow to watch Cas, the smile still on his face, and the white lights from the tree illuminating his features with a dim glow. His bright blue eyes glistened from the laughter, and Dean leaned down to kiss him gently.

“Hey,” he said quietly, and Cas turned his gaze onto him. “I get to marry you in a week.”

Cas raised up as well, and cupped Dean’s face with his hand.

“You sound like it’s some kind of gift,” he said.

“It is,” Dean said quietly, before a thoughtful look crossed his face. “But I can’t really say if it’s the best gift until you let me open the one under the tree.”

“Not going to happen,” Cas said, and Dean leaned forward to kiss his laughs away.

Dean never imagined he’d be the type to lay under a brightly lit tree in December, classic Christmas movies playing on the unwatched television, as he and Cas had slow, passionate sex. But Cas had proven him wrong before, and he would again.

*

Christmas dawned early the next morning, and though Dean was excited, he did agree with Cas that a morning cup of coffee was a must before any presents were opened. Cas filled his with nearly a third of a cup of sugar, and downed it all at once, before filling his mug again and returning to the living room with Dean. Once there, Dean excitedly handed Cas his gifts, eyes alight with happiness while Cas sleepily opened the first of two presents.

Inside, he found a silver key, clunky and somehow familiar. He held it up and looked at it, brow furrowed. 

“What does this go to?” he asked.

“The Impala. I thought it was time you had your own key.”

“You never let anyone else drive your car.”

“No one but you,” Dean agreed. “But dude, you have to let me show you how first ‘cause you’re a terrible driver.”

Cas laughed, and pulled the second present to himself to open. Dean fidgeted in his seat, clearly anxious for Cas to open it. Once the paper was torn off, and Cas opened up the box, he froze. Gingerly, almost hesitant to do so, he picked up the leather bound, musty smelling book, and stared.

“Emily Dickinson,” he said finally. “Dean, is this-”

“A first edition. It took me forever to track it down, but I knew you’d love it.”

Cas put the book down carefully and hugged his arms tightly around Dean’s neck.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Cas wanted to sink into the book immediately, but he instead handed Dean the first of his two presents. Dean gave the box an experimental shake, earning him a raised eyebrow from Cas, before tearing into the paper in a much less dignified way. He whooped when he saw the illustration on the box.

“Hell yeah!” he said, holding up the model car kit. “Now I can work on my Baby in the garage and in our room!”

“I saw it at the toy store when we were getting the things for Julia and Isaac, and I knew you’d want it. Here, open this one.”

Cas handed Dean a much heavier rectangular package, and Dean instinctively knew to be gentle with it. He opened the paper, covered in miniscule reindeer, and when he pulled out the gift, he grinned.

“Is this what you’ve been sneaking down here every night to do?” he asked, and Cas nodded. “Then come over here and go through it with me.”

In his hands lay Cas’ carefully made gift: a scrapbook of their lives from the time they met, until present day. Dean opened the first page to find a picture of the pair of them, arms slung around one another in front of Mary’s front door. Dean’s front teeth were missing, and Cas was sporting a spectacularly horrible bowl haircut. Dean laughed out loud.

“Man, we were ugly kids.”

“My hair was wonderful,” Cas scowled, and elbowed Dean in the ribs.

“If you do that to our future kids, I say its grounds for divorce.”

Dean slowly flipped through the pages, watching them age. Amongst the pictures were trinkets: tickets to movies, a seashell from their family trip to the beach, an old note that read _pation_. There were pictures of Halloween costumes from their Power Ranger phase, snowball fights, the two of them standing awkwardly with Anna and Jo before a middle school dance, and even one with Sammy included, the three of them laughing while they sat on the hood of the Impala.

When he flipped the page again, Dean saw a picture he hadn’t seen before. It was taken sometime in high school, and judging by his black eye, it was shortly after his fight with Raphael. He and Cas were playing Mario Kart, and someone (Mary, probably) had snuck in and clicked a picture. Dean had apparently just won the race, and he had his eyes closed in glee, one hand punching the air. Cas sat beside him on his bed in the picture, and Dean was suddenly aware that Cas wasn’t looking at the game; he was watching Dean, and he wore an expression of complete happiness.

“I don’t remember that one,” Dean said, his finger running over it absentmindedly. 

“I didn’t either. Your mom had it in her room. She gave it to me when I said I was doing this book.”

Dean nodded and kept moving through the pages. He passed Cas’ soulmating day, and Thanksgiving, where he saw a picture of himself with a hand on Jess’ stomach, and another of him shoveling in a piece of Cas’ pie.

“Turn the page,” Cas said softly, and when Dean did, he let out a small noise of surprise.

A plain, printed sheet of paper was wedged into the book, the lettering on the top causing Dean’s breath to catch in his throat.

_Clark Adoption Agency_

“Cas,” Dean breathed out, and he looked up from the paper to see Cas watching him anxiously. “Are you serious?”

Cas nodded hesitantly.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Really. I saw it online and I thought…but we don’t have to. It was just an idea-”

Cas’ words were cut off when Dean surged forward and kissed him fiercely. He pulled back a moment later and took Cas’ hand in his. 

“I’ll call them tomorrow,” Cas said, licking his lips. “Right now, I would very much like to do that again.”

Dean set the book aside and wrapped up Cas in his arms. They moved to the couch, and lay there together, talking and kissing as the mood took them, and only stopped to go to Mary’s house for dinner that night. 

Mary had been adamant that Cas and Dean not bring any food at all. She liked Christmas, she argued, and wanted to take care of her boys the way she always had. They had happily agreed to let her do it, and weren’t surprised when the meal was over the top and perfectly cooked.

Everything was, of course, delicious, and after the meal the family sat around the plastic tree in the living room opening their presents. Dean and Cas sat next to one another, pressed tightly to the other’s side, and Cas only stood when he needed to grab their gifts for the rest of the family. When he knelt over to pick through the bag, Dean felt his body give a jolt. Cas sat back down next to him, and Dean pressed his leg against the other boy’s, leaning in to whisper under the cover of the happy holiday music and the rest of the family talking.

“I can’t wait to get you home,” Dean whispered. “The things I want to do to you.”

Cas stiffened, glancing around to make sure everyone was unaware of their conversation, before turning to whisper into Dean’s ear.

“That does sound good,” he whispered, his hot breath tickling Dean’s ear and causing a shiver to run down his body. “But I can think of some things I want to do to you instead.”

“Yeah?” Dean answered, licking his dry lips. “Like what?”

“I want you sprawled out under me, moaning my name while I pound you into the bed. Your tight ass stretched around my cock. I want to make you come so hard it almost hurts.”

Dean ran sweaty palms down his jeans. He had never bottomed before, but damn, did he want to try it out after that.

“You gonna come inside me, Cas?” he whispered into Cas’ ear. “Fill me up?”

“I’ll fill you full,” Cas whispered back. “You’re going to be sore every time you sit down tomorrow. And every time you feel that ache, you’ll remember that you’re mine.”

“Hey, cut out the mushy crap!” Sam shouted from across the room, and Dean and Cas jumped apart, the air between them sparking with electricity.

“It’s not like you and Jess don’t do it,” Dean teased back. Better to let Sammy think he and Cas were flirting, instead of knowing the things they were whispering back and forth to each other.

Dean caught Cas’ eyes, the pupils blown wide with lust, and he gave a slight wink. 

The family opened the presents, all happy about what they had received (Sam even managed a laugh at Dean’s gag gift of a curling iron, which Jess promptly confiscated). Soon, the trash was packed away, the last cup of eggnog was drank, and it was time for Dean and Cas to head back home. They said their goodbyes, hugging everyone and thanking them for the gifts, before walking back to their own house.

Their eyes met in the darkness of the living room, and Dean locked the door behind them just as Cas moved forward quickly to pin Dean against the wall and grind against him slowly, peppering his neck with kisses.

“You sure you want to do this?” Cas asked, gripping Dean’s swiftly hardening erection through his jeans.

Dean bit back a moan.

“Yeah,” he said, then gasped as Cas slipped his hands into the back of his jeans and squeezed his ass. “Fuck yes, _now._ ”

Dean nearly dragged Cas up the stairs and to their room, and once inside, neither wasted any time in stripping the other bare. Cas backed Dean up against the bed until the back of his knees touched, and then gave him a gentle shove to send him down onto his back. He climbed on the bed as well, and kissed Dean from his legs up to the inside of his thighs, and around Dean’s leaking dick. Cas pressed his hands onto Dean’s hipbones, holding him in place, and immediately took Dean’s cock into his mouth, sucking it down all the way to the base in one movement. Dean bucked upwards, but Cas held his hands in place, pressing him down, his mouth working at a feverish pace.

He bobbed his head, tongued at the sensitive slit and underside, and placed gentle nibbles down the side, before thrusting to the back of his throat again.

“Cas,” Dean slurred. “So good…”

Cas hummed his approval and sped up, deep throating Dean as fast as he could go, thumbs digging into his hips while Dean ran his hand through Cas’ black hair. Dean vaguely noticed the sound of a container of lube snapping open when Cas removed his hands from Dean's hips, and within a moment, he felt one of Cas’ slicked up fingers prodding at his ass. Cas slowed down his movements on Dean’s cock, as though asking permission to continue, his blue eyes looking up to see if Dean wanted to go further.

Dean nodded, and Cas picked the pace back up, causing Dean to drop his head back on the bed. Slowly, Cas pushed in with his finger. The feeling was unusual, and slightly uncomfortable, but the fact that Cas was still bobbing on his dick made it much easier to tolerate. After pumping his finger for a bit, Cas added another, scissoring them to open Dean up. He pushed in, fingers curved, and suddenly Dean nearly bowed out of the bed.

“The hell was that?” he asked breathlessly, but Cas just kept sucking, raising one eyebrow as though to say _what do you think it was?_

Cas pumped his fingers again, grazing over the bundle of nerves, and Dean clenched his toes, the sensation almost too much to bear.

“Cas,” he half moaned. “Get up here and fuck me already.”

He came off of Dean’s cock with a slight pop, then pulled out his fingers to lube his own dick. Dean was surprised that he missed the sensation, and he bounced his leg impatiently. Cas finally moved back against him, and put Dean’s legs over his shoulders before pressing forward. Dean felt the pressure, and though it didn’t hurt, the feeling of being spread open by Cas’ dick was indescribable. Cas pushed, little by little, inch by inch, until he was fully sheathed in Dean. He sat there a moment, allowing him to get used to the feeling.

Dean made a small sound in his throat and jerked his hips, eager to get Cas moving. Cas grinned at him, and pulled out some before pushing back in, letting his head fall back at the sensation.

“You’re so tight,” he said, and he thrust again, the angle causing him to brush across Dean’s prostate.

“Faster,” Dean begged, canting his hips and digging into Cas’ legs with his fingernails. “Please.”

Cas groaned and began to pound into Dean with more force.

“Do you know how sexy it is to hear you beg for me?” he growled, the sounds of their bodies moving together filling the room. “To know you want this so much?”

“Ah…want you, Cas. Want you to fuck me harder,” Dean moaned out.

Cas thrust inside of Dean, deep and hard, his hand moving over Dean's cock, until Dean was crying out in pleasure. He was about to come, just at the edge, when Cas suddenly pulled out. Dean looked up, confused, but was met instead by a fierceness and look of complete need on Cas’ face.

“Roll over,” he said, and Dean didn’t question it, rolling onto his hands and knees.

Cas positioned himself behind Dean, and pressed in again, draping himself over his back so that Dean was holding himself and Cas both up. Cas thrust into him, moaning into Dean’s ear.

“You like that?” he asked, and Dean managed to grunt out a small yes. “Then you’re going to love this.”

Cas raised up and grasped Dean by his waist with both hands, pulling him back onto his dick as he thrust forward, rubbing across Dean’s prostate with every deep, fast thrust.

“Ohh, fuck, Cas. Just like that. I’m going to come…mmm. I’m coming…ah! _Cas!_ ”

Dean’s body went rigid as he shot his hot come onto the bed below, still moaning Cas’ name in a wrecked voice. He sank down onto his elbows, and Cas pounded faster, the blood rushing in his ears as he neared his own climax.

“Come in me, Cas,” Dean moaned out from below him, and Cas gripped Dean’s waist with a nearly bruising strength as he thrust in deep and held there, spilling inside of Dean’s warm body.

They collapsed together on the bed, panting heavily and covered in sweat.

“We have _got_ to do that again,” Dean said when he found the ability to speak.

He and Cas cleaned themselves up and crawled back under the sheets to tangle their limbs together while sleep crept up on them both. Outside, the quiet town of Chesterfield glowed with Christmas lights, and the gentle whirring sound of inflatable decorations hummed through the air.

“Merry Christmas, Cas,” Dean yawned, kissing the other boy on the cheek.

Cas pulled him closer and placed a kiss into his soft hair.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can admit I have a bottom!Dean kink, and a serious dirtytalk!kink. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. But if the smut was too smutty, let me know so I can adjust for future chapters. Thank you all for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos!


	8. Chapter 8

“Yes, but I’ve been on hold all morning-,” Cas attempted to argue, but he was cut off by more of the same terrible music he’d been hearing all day.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Dean was at work on this dreary Monday morning, the rain falling in sheets outside. Cas poured himself some coffee from the second pot of the day. He had intended to make one phone call, and start proceedings to become eligible to adopt. Instead, he was on hold with the third agency of the day, the two previous ones claiming they had no children to fit his “requirements”.

It wasn’t as though his requirements were unusual. He had expressed his and Dean’s interest in a young child, preferably a baby, as they were so young themselves. Race, sex, disability, or any other factor was irrelevant. Yet the other two agencies had refused his application. It wasn’t as though he and Dean were in a hurry to adopt immediately, but the process took months to complete, and they needed to get started.

“Thank you for calling Hope’s Home Adoption Agency. This is Natalie. How may I help you?” a middle aged voice spoke.

“Hello,” Cas said, scalding his tongue when he gulped down his mouth of coffee to answer. “My soulmate and I would like to apply to adopt a child.”

“Very good, I just need some details about the type of child you’re looking to adopt,” Natalie said, and Cas could hear shuffling papers on the other end of the line. “Tell me your specifications, please.”

“We don’t really have any, other than a child younger than six months, if possible,” Cas replied.

“I think we may have a few in our program,” Natalie said, and Cas could hear her typing something into her computer. “We’ll need to do background checks, home check, meet with you of course, and the typical things. May I have your name please?”

“Cas Novak.”

“And your soulmate’s name?”

“Dean Winchester.”

Silence filled the line.

“I’m sorry, but I seem to have made a mistake,” Natalie said. “We don’t have any children fitting your requirements.”

“What? But you just said-”

“I was wrong.”

Everything snapped into place in Cas’ mind. The other two agencies had done the same thing as soon as they heard Dean’s name.

“You do realize,” Cas said coolly, “that soulmates are chosen by a higher power? Dean and I had no choice in what happened to us.”

“Some of the soulmate pairings are obviously wrong,” Natalie answered, a snap in her voice. “How is a soulmate bond that doesn’t produce children natural? What could the use be?”

“Perhaps to take in the children without homes,” Cas answered, just as sharply.

“I’m sorry for your circumstances, but we’re not able to help you.”

“I’m not,” Cas answered.

“Excuse me? Not what?” Natalie asked.

“I’m not sorry for my circumstances. Dean and I didn’t have a choice, but I like to think that even if we had, we still would have chosen each other. We have always had a profound bond, soulmate spell or not.”

“Good luck with your adoption search,” Natalie sneered over the line. “You’re going to need it.”

The line disconnected, and Cas groaned loudly. He put the phone back down on the table, and it rang, causing him to jump.

“Hello?” he answered, and Anna’s cheerful voice piped up.

“Hey Cas!” she said happily. “Listen, I’m doing this paper, and I need a good poem to analyze. I want something that isn’t overdone, and you’re the best person to ask.”

“Anything specific?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, don’t make it hard for me to understand,” Anna joked. “Something modern, and short enough that I don’t have to write ten pages on it.”

A thousand poems passed through Cas’ mind, but given his experiences that morning, one seemed to be prevalent.

“You should use If by Rudyard Kipling.”

“Never heard of it,” Anna said. “But I can look it up. What am I looking at here in terms of emotion?”

Cas closed his eyes and tried to remember the poem. One phrase was his favorite.

_“If you can wait and not be tired of waiting,_  
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,  
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,  
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.” 

Anna was quiet on the phone, all eagerness from her voice gone.

“Cas,” she said finally. “What’s going on?”

And Cas told her. He vented about the agencies, their refusal to allow him and Dean to apply, how wrong they were because obviously he and Dean didn’t choose to be in this situation, though both of them were quite happy with it anyway. He spoke until he couldn’t any longer, whether from emotion or exhaustion, he had no idea.

“That’s ridiculous,” Anna said vehemently. “But you’ll figure it out! Damn, I have to go. I’ll call you later, okay? And thanks for the help with the poetry assignment.”

“Anytime.”

“And Cas?” Anna hesitated. “You’re getting married in a few days. Enjoy that, and don’t let this overshadow it.”

“I won’t. Enjoy class.”

“Yeah, if only you were my teacher. Dr. Reynolds doesn’t know Shel Silverstein from Shakespeare.”

Anna and Cas hung up, and Cas sat aside the phone. He could deal with this later. Right now, he wanted to concentrate on marrying his best friend.

*

The night before the wedding, Sam came and dragged Dean back to Mary’s house, while Jess went to stay with Cas.

“It’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding,” Sam said, practically shoving Dean down into a chair.

“Dude, neither of us is a freakin’ bride!” Dean argued, but Sam rolled his eyes.

“Get over it. You’ll see him tomorrow. Tonight, you can enjoy New Year’s Eve with me and Mom.”

Dean grumbled, and pulled out his cell phone. He sent Cas a quick message, something no one would understand but them.

_At Stumpy, at Witch’s Hour._

A moment later, Dean’s cell pinged with an incoming message.

_**Black cats optional, I assume.** _

Dean grinned, and stowed the phone back in his pocket. He and Cas had so many inside jokes and stories, it was like they had their own language sometimes.

_“Whatcha going to be for Halloween?” Dean asked, kicking his feet where he and Cas sat, back to back, on the stump in the yard._

_“Don’t know yet. Halloween is kind of scary,” Cas replied._

_“What do you mean it’s scary?” Dean asked._

_“Raphael says you have to be in by midnight, or it’s Witches Hour. That’s when the witches can come out and eat all the kids.”_

_“He’s lying,” Dean said at once. “Witches don’t eat kids. And I should know. Mom says that this tree must have been hit by a curse, it died so fast. If witches really ate kids, why would it bother killing Stumpy here and not going for me instead?”_

_“Stumpy?” Cas asked._

_“You got a better name for a tree stump?” Dean retorted, and Cas laughed._

_“I don’t name trees very often. How do you know it was a witch?”_

_Dean spun around until he was sitting directly beside Cas and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially in his ear._

_“I saw a black cat.”_

_“So?” Cas asked._

_“So that’s what witches have! Black cats!”_

_“No, in the Harry Potter books, they can have toads or owls too. And the cats don’t have to be black.”_

_“Those books aren’t real. They don’t mean anything,” Dean argued back._

_“Maybe J.K. Rowling is a real witch,” Cas shrugged. “And that’s her way of telling us what witches are like.”_

_“I’m telling you, black cats are a witch’s best friend,” Dean said._

_“And I am telling YOU, other animals would work. Black cats are optional,” Cas retorted._

_Dean looked around at Cas to argue, but Cas’ face was stony and set. Instead of arguing, Dean found himself laughing._

_“What?” Cas asked, bewildered._

_“You’re so weird,” Dean laughed, and Cas blinked, almost hurt, until Dean added, “and it’s _awesome_.”_

_“Fine,” Cas sniffed indignantly, the ghost of a smile on his face. “Sneak out to Stumpy tonight at the Witch’s Hour. If it was really a witch, we’ll know for sure.”_

_Dean had heartily agreed to the challenge. Late that night, both boys claimed they had eaten too much candy, and stayed in. When they met the next day at school, they laughed until their sides ached._

Sam passed out on the couch before eleven that night and Mary turned in early as well, claiming she had a busy wedding to attend the next day, and hinting that Dean should go to sleep too. Dean nodded, and instead sat up watching the events in Times Square. At ten til midnight, he quietly sneaked out the back door, wrapped up warmly in thick layers. He sat on Stumpy and noticed with a frown that his legs were too long to kick his feet anymore.

“Does your mother know you’re out here?” a familiar voice called, and Dean grinned at Cas, appearing out of the darkness like a beacon.

“Aren’t I too old to be answering to Mommy?” he shot back, and Cas sat next to him on the huge stump.

“Are we playing the question game?” Cas retorted, and Dean pretended to crack his knuckles threateningly.

“Do you want to play?” he asked.

“Can’t you tell?”

“Don’t I always win?” Dean questioned.

“Depends, don’t you always cheat?”

“Are you aware I could do this all night?”

“Would you believe I have a trick up my sleeve?” Cas shot back.

“And what’s that?” Dean said immediately.

His voice died in his mouth when Cas slammed their lips together, pulling Dean in close by his shirt and licking at his lips insistently. Dean opened his mouth, and Cas kissed him deeply, until Dean was out of breath and panting.

“Truce?” Cas asked with a devilish grin.

“Truce.”

“Ha! I win!” he said excitedly, and Dean groaned.

“Dude, that’s not how it works! You can’t claim a truce and then say you’ve won. Who the hell are you, Soviet Russia?”

Cas laughed and leaned his head onto Dean’s shoulder. Dean wrapped his fingers around Cas’ cold hands and glanced at his watch.

“10…9…8…7…”

“Is it almost New Year’s already?” Cas murmured, and Dean just continued the countdown.

“4…3…2…1.”

Dean lifted Cas’ chin with one hand and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to his lips, feeling the cool chapped lips sweeping against his own.

“Happy New Year,” he said quietly when he pulled apart.

“I think it’s going to be the best one ever,” Cas answered, and he brought Dean’s hand to his mouth to kiss each of his fingers.

“You’re so cheesy,” Dean teased, and Cas quirked an eyebrow.

“That’s nowhere near the ‘cheesiness’ of the way I think,” Cas replied.

“Yeah? Do your worst. I’ve seen enough movies to beat you at this game.”

“Do you have to make everything a competition?” Cas questioned, and Dean pretended to think over his question.

“Yes,” he finally said, and he leapt to his feet, sighing dramatically. “You had me at hello.”

“I believe the first thing I said to you was about how a worm’s brain was bigger than Michael’s,” Cas said shrewdly, and he smiled. “But you tried.”

Dean kept on, motions becoming more theatrical and causing Cas to laugh loudly in the darkness.

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner! I’ll never let go, Jack!” Dean shouted, and Cas shushed him.

“And people thought I was the strange one in school,” he said quietly, pulling Dean back onto the stump to sit.

“You were the best one out of all of ‘em, Cas,” Dean said. “If they had bothered to find out, they would all wish they could be sitting here where I am right now.”

Dean looked at Cas and grinned sheepishly, his cheeks tinting in the darkness.

“You’re the reason I’m a poet, you know,” Cas said seriously. “I needed to learn all the words I could, just so I could write down the feelings I have for you.”

Cas waited nervously for Dean to respond, but Dean seemed to have been struck mute. His mouth opened and shut like a fish gasping for water, until he finally shut it and leaned to Cas, resting their foreheads together.

“You win,” he said softly. 

“I thought I might,” Cas whispered back. “Not that it isn’t true.”

They sat in the cold darkness for a while longer, and one by one the lights in the homes of their neighborhood flicked off. Soon, Cas and Dean were sitting huddled together in near pitch darkness, their frozen breaths mingling when they breathed. Dean sat up, aching in his back, and stretched.

“I’ve got to get back inside and get some sleep. You should too,” he said, and Cas yawned sleepily.

“Why?” he asked, kissing Dean’s cheek before standing.

“I’m marrying my best friend tomorrow,” Dean said. “Got to look good for him.”

“Always.”

They kissed once more in the dark, and Cas set off for his own house. Dean watched him go, watched him climb over the short evergreen hedge that separated their yards, until he was unlocking his front door.

“Cas,” he called in a carrying voice, and he could vaguely see Cas looking over at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight, Dean.”

And with that, he slipped in the house. The click of the door echoed in the still of the winter’s night, and Dean walked back to his own house, letting out a small whoop of delight.

Upstairs, Mary closed the curtains on her window, watery-eyed and smiling. She picked the picture of John up from bedside table and sat down on the side of her bed.

“It’s me again,” she said into the air. “I think I talk more to you now than I did when you were alive.”

She chuckled a bit and held the picture close.

“I hope you saw what just happened out there. You wouldn’t approve, but Dean just looked a hell of a lot like another boy I remember…sneaking out the night before our ceremony, not having rocks to throw at my window so you scaled the trellis outside instead. I thought you were having a heart attack when you finally made it up to knock.”

Mary crawled into bed and sat the picture back in its place, then turned on her side so she could continue talking.

“You said you had to see me one more time, just one more kiss. It was pouring down rain, you idiot, and you drove five miles then climbed the side of a house. All to see me.”

Mary lay back in the dark room and closed her eyes.

“I miss you.”

Down the hall, in his own room, Dean was staring out of the window like a kid waiting on Christmas. He could see Cas’ bedroom from his place at his window, and maybe he sounded a bit like a stalker, but he only wanted to see him one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a wedding coming! We finally get to see what Jess (and okay, Sam too, when she made him do it) has planned for the big day! And something tells me the surprises aren't quite done yet...In other news, I've decided that apparently, my life isn't crazy enough, and have accepted a job on top of grad school, acting gigs, and family life. 
> 
> And in exciting, look-what-your-support-did news, the first story in this series, Waking Up, is going to be published on Amazon! It won't be Dean/Cas, for copyright reasons, but the story will be available to own for a really cheap price (because I understand being broke). I'll update this as soon as it's available! And, if anyone is interested in a mention in the acknowledgments along with a link of your choosing (to your deviantart, tumblr, etc.) then please PLEASE design my book cover! The winning artist will get that lovely perk and lots of internet hugs. Submit your art or questions to my tumblr: deansurvived.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

“Why the hell do they make these so uncomfortable?” Dean asked, while pulling at the collar of his tux.

“I’m fine,” Sam answered, grinning. “You’re just nervous.”

“I’m not nervous, _you’re_ …nervous.”

“Great comeback.”

“Shut up.”

Dean paced his mother’s kitchen until Sam forcibly sat him in a chair.

“Relax, you’re killing me here,” Sam said. “Jess planned everything. All you have to do is walk out and marry Cas. Easy.”

“I’ll remind you of that when you and Jess get married,” Dean retorted, and Sam’s face flushed red immediately.

“Dean?” Jess’ voice said, and she walked through the backdoor and into the kitchen. “It’s almost time. You and Bobby wait until you hear the music.”

“Bobby?” Dean asked.

“Yes. Just like we practiced last night, you just walk down with Bobby. Come on, Sam, we need to sit down. And Dean? You’ll be fine.”

Sam and Jess made to go out the door. Sam looked down toward the wedding aisle, and a grin spread across his face. He peeked back into the kitchen at Dean and winked, then walked into the sunny, cold winter afternoon.

“Hey, boy,” Bobby’s gruff voice said, and he walked into the kitchen. “You’re lookin’ nervous.”

“I’m going to puke,” Dean answered with a shaky laugh. “What did Jess rope you into doing?”

Bobby rubbed at his neck.

“Hell, son. She said you didn’t have anyone to walk you down the aisle, what with your momma sitting in for Cas’ mom and all.”

“You’re giving me away?” Dean asked, bewildered. “Damn, I’m not a _bride!_ ”

“I ain’t givin’ anyone away!” Bobby said back, looking just as horrified about the idea. “Jess mentioned you had to walk alone, since your daddy…well. You’re like a son to me, boy. Now I ain’t trying to take his place, but no one should walk alone on their wedding day. You’re not mine, but I would have been proud of you if you had been.”

Dean blinked rapidly, and he squished Bobby into a tight, fast hug. Bobby wiped at his eyes and scowled.

“Alright, enough mushy crap,” he said, and Dean chuckled.

Music trickled in from outside, and Dean was pleased to hear that Jess had gone with what sounded like a New Orleans jazz band recording instead of a traditional orchestra. 

“You ready?” Bobby asked, and Dean nodded, his mouth too dry to speak.

Bobby moved over to open the door for them and he and Dean stepped forward into the clear view of everyone seated outside.

Jess had done a beautiful job. The chairs lining the aisle were a pearly white, and filled with Cas and Dean’s closest family and friends. Jo and Anna were sitting together, beaming back at Dean, while Ellen sat to their side and hastily wiped at tears on her face. Bert and Chuck Shurley grinned from the back row, and Missouri and her husband sat to their right. She blew Dean a kiss and winked at him when he emerged from the kitchen. Pam sat with Isaac sleeping in her arms, and Julia bounced up and down on her toes, dressed in a beautiful golden dress and long sleeve sweater thrown over the top to combat the winter chill. Annie was seated near the front, beaming with pride as though Dean was her own child, and beside her sat a picture of Eli, another one of Jess’ thoughtful touches. 

Dean could see his own mother seated at the front, sniffling in place of pride in the mother’s seat and dressed in a baby blue dress with her hair pinned up in ringlets. Beside her, Jess had placed photographs of John, grinning up at the camera with a wrench in hand and a baby Dean in his lap, and Naomi, seated on her living room sofa with a cup of tea in her hands.

The decorations were shimmering. Jess had taken the winter theme and ran with it, and it was echoed in all the accents. The flowers were white, and though Dean didn’t know or care what type they were, they looked gorgeous pinned to the sides of the chairs lining the aisle, and decorated the simple wooden arch at the front. Silver accents were thrown in to mimic snow, and the winter sun cascaded down behind the arch in the late afternoon set everything aglow. 

Dean vaguely noticed the preacher at the front from his father’s funeral (a downfall of a small town was that preachers usually pulled double duty on good and bad events), and Sam and Jess on their respective sides of the altar, both dressed in silver and white.

Dean noticed all of this in the space of seconds once he walked out of the door and began his trek down the aisle, trying to still his trembling hands. 

Then Cas turned around, and everything else disappeared.

Cas was wearing the same sort of black and white tux Dean was, with their white rose boutonnieres both pinned to the same place. But Cas was, there was no other word for it, _glowing_. He radiated happiness and calm, and suddenly Dean’s feet couldn’t get him to the front of the aisle fast enough. Dean sped up just slightly, and Bobby huffed in amusement beside him. Once they made it to the front of the aisle, Bobby moved off to the side to take a seat, and the wedding officially began.

Dean was hardly paying attention. He and Cas simply stared at each other throughout the opening comments, the definition of marriage, and even the prayer. Dean didn’t want to take his eyes off Cas for a second, wanting to drink in his happiness and memorize his face.

“ _Dean_ ,” Sam whispered, and Dean snapped back to attention.

“Sorry, what?” he said, and the onlookers laughed.

“I said please repeat after me,” the preacher smiled.

“Oh, right,” Dean said, flustered.

Dean repeated the preacher’s words back to him, eyes never leaving Cas.

“I, Dean Winchester, take you Castiel Novak, to have and hold from this day forward…”

This was really happening. Dean’s heart was hammering madly in his chest. He focused on Cas’ peaceful smile to ground him.

“For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward…”

Mary gave an audible sniff from the front row, and all of Dean’s nerves vanished when Cas smiled at him like never before. The sun breaking through a cloud behind them had no chance of being brighter than that moment.

“And death shall not part us.”

A cold winter breeze blew through the backyard, and Cas took a deep breath of the frigid air before repeating the vows back at Dean, eyes alight with happiness.

“I, Castiel Novak, take you Dean Winchester, to have and hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health,” Cas leaned in and added so quietly no one else could hear, “even when I tell you to get your flu shot and you don’t.”

Dean huffed out a laugh at the memory, and Cas moved on.

“To love and to cherish, from this day forward, and death shall not part us.”

“If you would both face me, please,” the preacher said, and he bowed his head to give a quick prayer.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, barely audible.

“Yeah?” Dean whispered back.

“I’m so nervous I’m afraid I may throw up on the preacher.”

Dean bit back a laugh.

“Oh, _please_ go all Exorcist on him, Cas. A wedding and exorcism in the same day? I need that to happen.”

“Amen,” the preacher finished, and Cas rearranged his face into a happy, neutral expression. “The rings?”

Jess and Sam both handed over their rings, and Dean took Cas’ hand in his, listening to the meaning of rings (circular, never ending, just like love, of course…ugh, that was so cheesy Dean nearly wrinkled his nose).

“Dean, do you promise to always love Castiel?” the preacher asked, indicating Dean should slide on the ring if he agreed.

“I do,” Dean said, and he pushed the gold band onto Cas’ finger.

“And Castiel, do you promise to always love Dean?”

“I do,” Cas answered, and he slipped on Dean’s ring as well.

“Then by the power given to me by the church, I now pronounce you husbands!”

Dean and Cas stood frozen, staring at each other, while the crowd cheered and clapped. 

“Dude!” Sam’s voice cut through the noise. “Kiss him!”

Dean put his hands on either side of Cas’ face, and Cas brought his own hands up to cup over them. He leaned forward and kissed Cas as gently as he had the very first time, but this time there was no confusion or panic. This felt right.

*

The party lasted well into the evening, spilling from the Winchester yard into the Novak yard, and filling both houses with happy family and friends. Dean and Cas shared their first dance, swaying awkwardly while the guests looked on, and as much as they loved each other, neither was particularly crazy about being the center of attention.

After cake and gifts, the guests started to dwindle, leaving Dean and Cas to prepare to leave for their trip. Dean had been adamant about not telling Cas where they were going, much to the other boy’s amusement and annoyance.

“How will I know what to pack?” Cas had asked repeatedly.

“Clothes,” Dean had retorted, and Cas had just sighed, exasperated.

At nearly eight, Dean announced that he and Cas had to go, and Mary, Sam, and Jess surrounded them to wish them well. The boys walked to their car, which Dean was pleased to see had been spared the worst of what he knew his brother was capable of. Sam had used washable car markers (Dean could hug him for that), and though the car was covered with cheerful and often lewd statements, as well as a few strategically placed penis illustrations, he found he was too happy to be upset. He laughed as he pulled the condoms off the windshield wipers, and only grimaced a bit at the green and purple clay dick someone had molded and stuck to his dash. 

“Dean, this car is your baby. Are you alright?” Cas questioned, and Dean just grinned.

“Yeah, it’s not permanent. Besides, I want everyone we drive by to know I married my best friend.”

Cas smiled back and closed the trunk, their bags inside, and was ready to climb into the car when he heard Anna and Jo calling for them.

“Wait! Wait!” Anna yelled, and she and Jo dashed up to them, red-faced and wheezing.

“We won’t be gone that long,” Dean winked, and Jo rolled her eyes.

“No…you idiot…” she gasped out. “Our present…here it is.”

Anna and Jo caught their breath and Cas looked around, curious.

“What is it?” he asked, and Anna beamed.

“It’s me,” she said happily, breath now semi-returned.

“I’m not sure how to tell you,” Dean said, whispering conspiratorially. “But I’m married.”

“Dammit, Dean,” Jo said, slugging him in the shoulder; for a small girl, she was remarkably strong. “It’s us. We know about the trouble you’ve been having finding an adoption agency. We’ve been looking into it for you too, but no one will let same sex soulmates adopt.”

Dean knew all of this already; Cas had broken down in tears in Dean’s arms only a few nights prior, convinced they would never have children if all agencies kept turning them down. Dean had even mentioned the possibility of adopting their nephew to Sam, which had caused an explosive comment from his brother loud enough to rattle the windows. For everything he had said when Jess had found out she was pregnant, Sam had absolutely no intention of giving up his son. He told Dean as much, after they had calmed down and hugged, claiming that John may have been a horrible father, but Sam would never intentionally abandon a child.

“So this is our present,” Anna jumped in. “You go with us to Roman Medical Center-”

“You pick out a donor egg from a list of qualities,” Jo interrupted. “They mix your baby gravy together so that both of you are potential fathers, fertilize the egg, then implant it in Anna-”

“And I carry your baby to term.”

Dean stared at them.

“There has to be a less creepy way to describe that,” he finally said, and Anna sighed, shushing Jo’s retort before she could even say it.

“Look, you two deserve a baby, even if you’re already a family as you are. So the rest of the world hasn’t accepted same sex soulmates yet. They will. Until then, though, we want you to have what you want, and we’re willing to make it happen.”

“I’m not using you as some baby factory,” Dean said, looking disgusted, and this time Jo landed an excellent punch worthy of Muhammad Ali on his shoulder.

“Do you think I’d let you?” she asked. “I love Anna, and we both love you and Cas. This is what we _want_ to do for you, if you want it. If not, fuck it, we’ll get you some towels or silverware. It’s your call, it’s not like there’s a reason to know right now.”

Jo looked at her watch.

“It’s getting late. Take your time deciding, and be careful on your trip. Cas, you’re going to love it,” Jo said, and Cas huffed in mock indignation.

“You told Jo where we’re going and not me?”

“I didn’t marry Jo,” Dean said.

“Thank God for that,” Jo retorted, and Anna laughed, wrapping up Dean and Cas in hugs.

“Have fun,” she said, and then it was Jo’s turn.

“Yeah, do the horizontal hula like proper newlyweds,” she said, and Dean and Cas climbed into their car. “And don’t forget, my soulmate’s vagina is open for business!”

“Jesus, Jo!” Dean yelled out, but Jo and Anna just laughed and walked back off toward the endings of the reception.

Dean drove off, and Cas leaned his head back against the seat, feeling the warmth of the heat blast his face. They drove in peaceful quiet for a bit, until Dean reached across the seat and took Cas’ hand.

“It’s an option,” he said quietly, and Cas nodded.

“I know. But we have time to think about it, and right now, I’d like to focus on one milestone at a time.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand. 

“I can’t believe we’re married,” Dean said, and he played with the golden band on Cas’ hand. “And that ring is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Got a thing for married men, Mr. Winchester?” Cas teased.

“Just for you, Mr. Winchester. Damn, I’m never going to get tired of hearing that.”

“Yes, well, it was part of the deal,” Cas admitted. “But I rather like it too.”

At first, Cas had refused to take Dean’s name, calling the practice archaic and sexist, while Dean thought it was more traditional. Cas had also balked at the original, traditional vows, which stated that they must love and obey each other. Cas had insisted that part be removed, and he and Dean had negotiated with each other until they were both satisfied about the ceremony.

_“I’ll agree that we take out the obey part, because that’s stupid. But if we do, I want you to take my name,” Dean insisted._

_“I think it means I’m property,” Cas crinkled his nose._

_“I don’t see it that way,” Dean said, and he moved closer to Cas on the couch. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but I hope you will.”_

_“Why?” Cas asked._

_“Because whenever we sign our name to something, there will be a little reminder that, somehow, I was lucky enough to marry you.”_

_“That’s what the rings are for,” Cas reminded him gently, and Dean leaned in to kiss his cheek._

_“Rings can get lost, but your name sticks with you forever.”_

Cas looked out the window at the approaching bright lights.

“Lincoln? Is this where we’re staying?” Cas asked, excitement building even though the city was miles and miles away, only illuminating the winter sky because of its enormous size.

“For tonight,” Dean said, throwing Cas a wink. “Then tomorrow, we drive for six hours, and we make it to our real destination.” 

“Which is?” Cas pressed.

“Patience, Cas,” Dean grinned, and he held Cas’ hand the rest of the way to Lincoln.

*

“Reservation for Dean and Cas Winchester,” Dean said to the young receptionist at the front desk, and she popped her gum before peeking up at him through long, brown bangs.

“Newlywed special?” she asked happily, and Dean nodded. “Here’s your keys. Top floor, room 817. Enjoy your night!”

“We will,” Dean winked, and Cas rolled his eyes before leading him to the elevator.

“What?” Dean asked once the doors had closed behind them. “I wasn’t flirting!”

“I know you weren’t,” Cas answered. “You were implying that we were going to have sex tonight. And that assumption is completely-”

Cas leaned over and licked a stripe up Dean’s neck.

“True.”

Dean gulped, happy when the elevator doors clanged open on the top floor. He practically dragged Cas down the hall to their room, not even caring that it was getting late and other guests were probably starting to go to bed. Dean pulled Cas to him and reached behind his own back to fumble with the key card and open the door. Cas pressed against him, the heat seeping through the layers of their tuxes, and Dean gave a triumphant murmur when the door opened behind him and they very nearly toppled through.

Cas staggered and stood up again, his gaze fixed past Dean and toward the back of the suite.

“That’s beautiful,” he whispered, but Dean was busy nipping at his neck and locking the door behind them with one hand. 

“Dean.”

And little though he wanted to, Dean tore his attention away from the tan expanse of perfect skin across Cas’ neck and looked into the room.

“Wow,” he breathed, and he took Cas’ hand to walk further inside.

Dean vaguely registered a beautiful bathroom to his left, stocked full of soft, cream colored towels and larger than his childhood bedroom, and a sitting area decorated lavishly to their right. The main view was directly in front of him. The master bedroom lay waiting, a set of sinfully comfortable silken sheets and comforter thrown delicately over a thick mattress. An honest to God fireplace with gas logs was glowing in the corner of the bedroom, casting long, arching shadows onto the walls. 

The other wall of the room, much to Cas’ delight, wasn’t a wall at all. Rather, it was one enormous window, the curtains thrown back to reveal the city of Lincoln, lit up with the type of beautiful industrial glamour only found in the city. Far below them, horns blared and people bustled about, even in the cold night air.

“The view is incredible,” Cas breathed out, standing so close to the window that his hot breath fogged up the glass when he spoke.

Dean reached out and pulled him in, feeling the warmth of their bodies pressed together once more. He kissed Cas long and softly, tongues slipping over each other languidly. They stayed there for a moment, and Cas began to work his fingers into the muscles of Dean’s shoulders, kneading gently. Then he slipped his hands beneath Dean’s tuxedo jacket and slid it down over his shoulders, allowing it to slump in a heap to the floor. Dean did the same to Cas, and began to work the other man’s tie loose, allowing Cas to work on his as well. Their shirts came next, hitched up from their dress pants and unbuttoned slowly and purposefully, then their shoes were toed off, socks slipped down and away, and finally the black dress pants shucked away as well.

Dean slowly moved his fingers under the band of Cas’ underwear and pulled them down, allowing Cas to tug his away too. Then Dean walked Cas backward, never once breaking their kiss, until the back of Cas’ knees brushed against the silk fabric of the bedspread. Dean leaned Cas back, slowly, hands supporting him as though he were a precious heirloom he was afraid of breaking, and gently lay him on the bed. Cas pulled Dean down by the shoulders until he was laying flush against him, his pounding heart pressed against Cas’ chest. 

“Dean,” Cas breathed out at the feeling, and Dean leaned back down to pepper kisses along his jaw and neck, dipping his head down to lick and nibble on Cas’ clavicle. 

Cas arched his back at the feeling and Dean pressed down on him at the same time, causing wonderful friction and pressure to build between them.

Dean moaned out a small sound and pressed down again, biting his bottom lip when Cas rolled his own hips up to meet his thrust. They began to quicken their pace, and suddenly Cas stopped, rolling them over.

Dean was surprised to find himself suddenly on his back, but his dick didn’t seem to mind. It gave a twitch at the sight of Cas above him, pupils blown wide, hair a mess, and…

And pressing one finger into himself, moaning as he did so.

Holy shit.

Cas was fucking himself open on his own finger, and had carefully positioned his body so that Dean’s cock was rubbing against the soft skin of his ass while he did it.

Dean’s hips thrust upward, but Cas simply sped up his finger, pulling it away only to squirt some more lube on that he had apparently materialized out of nowhere. At least, Dean hadn’t noticed it until now. Cas pushed a second finger in and scissored himself open, adding a third when he was open enough. He was squirming now, hips bucking slightly and hard dick bouncing in front of him with every move. Dean didn’t speak, not wanting to stop the moment, though he was so hard he ached.

Finally, Cas withdrew his fingers and reached behind him to grasp Dean’s cock in his hand. He paused, and leaned down to kiss Dean softly on his lips.

“Is this alright?” he asked, and Dean nearly laughed.

“Yes, fuck yes,” he said, holding himself back from thrusting into the crack of Cas’ ass. 

“Good,” Cas said, and he sat back up.

He lined Dean’s erection up with his hole and began to sit down on it, pushing it in slightly, inch by inch, until he was fully seated in Dean’s lap.

“Dean,” Cas moaned. “I feel so _full_.”

Dean groaned in response, and thrust up slightly, drawing a lingering moan out of the other man’s mouth.

Cas started bouncing, little movements at first, tiny twitches of his thigh muscles under the fingers that Dean was pressing into them. Dean slid his hands up Cas’ thighs stopping at his hips, and he lifted Cas slightly during his bounces, causing him to moan and move faster and harder.

“Feels so good, baby,” Dean moaned, and he began to thrust upward each time Cas came down.

Cas threw his head back and clasped his hands onto Dean’s thighs as he rode him, squeezing his long fingers into the tight muscles under his hands.

Dean reached forward and wrapped his hand around Cas’ dick, causing Cas to cry out and increase his speed, needing that finish.

“Ah, _Dean_ ,” he moaned out, tongue darting out to lick at his chapped lips. “You feel so good inside me. Big, and hard. Do I feel good too?”

“Fuck yeah,” Dean grunted out. “Tight and hot. You’re perfect.”

“Mmm,” Cas moaned. “I love it when you’re deep inside me. Love feeling you stretching me open. Love _you_.”

“God, Cas! I’m gonna-,” Dean was on edge, about to fall over, and he worked his hand over Cas’ hard cock, wanting him to feel just as good.

Cas could sense the desperation in Dean, just how close he was. With a quick movement, he dropped all the way back down on Dean, pushing his dick in as far as he could and grinding into him hard and desperate while still clinging to his thighs.

“Mmm! _Ah!_ ” Dean shouted, and he was coming hard, his body emptying into the tight, wet heat surrounding him.

He worked Cas over with his hand still, even in the throes of his orgasm, until Cas was gasping above him, hips rocking into his hand.

“Dean!” he shouted, and he came in long spurts of warm liquid across Dean’s chest.

Cas rolled over and collapsed onto the bed, both he and Dean panting and heaving breaths from their exhausted, sated bodies.

“Can we do that forever?” Dean finally said into the darkness, and Cas laughed.

“We’ve got forever now,” he said, and Dean lazily rolled over and wrapped their sticky bodies up together.

“How about we start with going all night?” he winked, and Cas chuckled back.

“I say it's my turn to be top.”

They managed a few more times that night, collapsing into each other’s arms at the end of each explosive moment, before falling asleep tangled together in the early hours of the morning. When they both awoke the next morning, sore and naked, they decided to begin their first full day of married life by promptly crawling back under the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some wedding night sexy times, on the house!


	10. Chapter 10

“St. Louis?” Cas asked, reading the sign that he and Dean passed after dinner the next day. The sun was already sinking low in the afternoon sky.

Dean just grinned and winked at Cas.

“When did you get so good at guessing?” Dean nudged Cas with his elbow, and Cas scowled back at him.

“I have always been quite adept at subtlety.”

“No, you really haven’t. Remember the Dick Roman scandal? I was reading about it on the computer with Sam when you came over one day.”

_“Dude, it’s my turn to get on!” Sam whined. “What are you looking at?”_

_“Dick Roman just got arrested,” Dean replied, scrolling down the page._

_“Who?” Sam asked, and Dean grimaced._

_“Do you not follow the news?” he questioned, and Sam rolled his eyes._

_“Oh, like you did before Cas needed help with his debate class. Who is it?”_

_Dean sighed and cast his brother an annoyed glance._

_“He’s on the board of directors for the Roman hospital system in Nebraska. Turns out, the director of nursing he hired was Nurse Grim.”_

_“Again-who?”_

_“Shit, Sammy. The nurse who made the news for killing patients, remember? She killed, like, thirty people before she was caught. Her name was Lilith or something. Anyway, looks like Roman knew about it, and tried to cover it up so he wouldn’t look bad. Some reporter found papers showing he knew all along, and didn’t do anything to stop her.”_

_“Whoa, he just let her_ kill _those people?” Sam asked, eyes round._

_“Well, she said they were ‘mercy killings’, but yeah, he knew about it and let her do it. The people didn’t make the choice, the nurse just decided who was suffering, and killed them.”_

_Sam stared, open mouthed, and Dean kept reading._

_“Dean,” Sam asked seriously. “That is all terrible, but if I don’t get online I’m going to get an F on my homework, and you’re going to be praying for a mercy killing when I get done with you.”_

_Dean let out an overly dramatic sigh, then made a show of clicking on another article about Dick Roman._

_“Are you strictly into Dick now?” Sam asked, annoyed, just as Cas came into the room._

_“Dean?” Cas questioned. “What are you two doing?”_

_“Nothing!” Dean answered haughtily, and Sam doubled over with laughter._

_“He-he loves to read about Dick!” Sam gasped out. “Dean spends his time on the i-internet, looking up Dick!”_

_Cas frowned, and Dean flushed red, stammering._

_“I’m afraid I don’t understand that reference, Sam,” Cas answered stonily._

_“Come on, Cas,” Dean said, red in the face, and he led Cas out of the room, ignoring his brother’s wheezing laughter._

_“I don’t understand,” Cas continued to question. “Why does Sam care if you look up penises online?”_

_“I don’t look up penises, Cas!” Dean shouted, rounding the corner and nearly smacking into his mother._

_“Dean Winchester, if you’ve been watching porn on my computer-,” she began fiercely, but Dean groaned and hid his face in his hands._

_“I’m not looking at porn!” he said loudly, and Sam’s echoing laughter drifted down the hall. “Sam, I’m going to kill you!”_

“But were you really looking at porn?” Cas asked innocently, and Dean chuckled.

“With Sam in the house? Not a chance.”

“You did when he was out?”

“Jesus, Cas, who have been hanging out with all these years? Of course I looked at porn. Not dicks though,” Dean reasoned.

“Ah, yes. I seem to remember you being quite convinced of your heterosexuality,” Cas teased, and laced his fingers through Dean’s on the seat.

“Well, I hadn’t experienced yours yet,” Dean tossed a teasing wink Cas’ way, and Cas groaned at the poor joke.

“So, St. Louis,” he said, and Dean laughed.

“Yeah, man, St. Louis. This is our exit, actually. We’ve got a hot date.”

“And how did you decide on this location?” Cas asked studiously, as though studying a particularly interesting subculture.

“Think about who used to live here,” Dean said, and Cas furrowed his brow in concentration before a look of dawning comprehension passed over his features.

“T.S. Eliot lived here,” he finally said. “You do realize you may be a bigger nerd than I am?”

“Hey,” Dean said defensively. “I just feel like I owe the guy, that’s all.”

“Owe him?”

“Yeah. I mean, he makes you happy. Here’s our exit.”

Dean pulled off the interstate and maneuvered the winding streets of St. Louis. A heavy blanket of snow lay across the chilled ground, causing everything to take on an ethereal glow in the cold winter sun. The tires of the Impala made a pleasant swishing sound when they rolled across the gray, sludgy mix of snow and salt covering the roads. Cas watched children playing while happily lit by the waning sunlight in their front yards, building up enormous snowmen and decorating them with bits of wood (and in one interesting case that caused Dean to laugh for five miles, a butcher’s knife in the stomach and red food dye).

They drove until they reached a sign proclaiming the entrance to the Missouri Botanical Gardens, the parking lot very nearly deserted in the dead of winter and at such a late afternoon hour.

“Dean,” Cas questioned, brow creased. “A garden in winter?”

“Have some faith in me,” Dean poked him in the side and happily clambered out of the car.

“Always,” Cas answered, and he climbed out too.

Dean waited patiently and took Cas by the hand, leading him through the front gates, pausing only to pass the middle-aged receptionist in the ticket booth two passes. Cas stopped short when he and Dean were finally inside the Gardens.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas breathed out, his breath turning to silky fog in the air. “Look at it.”

The Gardens stretched out in front of them, covered in frost and snow, glittering white and bright even with the fading sun. Paths stretched and swirled through what would be beautiful flower displays during the rest of the year. Tonight, though, the flower beds were obscured by the pure white snow.

Dean entwined his fingers with Cas’. 

“Come on,” he said softly, and he led Cas down the twisting paths.

Each turn brought more beauty. One path led to a maze of hedges, another to a crisscrossing wooden deck stretching out over a frozen pond. Dean brought Cas to the side of the pond, and cleaned off a wrought iron bench to sit down on.

“I’d say we could go ice skating, but even _I_ think that’s cheesy,” Dean gave Cas’ hand a squeeze.

“It’s beautiful here. Why don’t more people come?” Cas asked, eyes taking everything in.

Dean rubbed shyly at the back of his neck with his other hand.

“Yeah, this was supposed to be over yesterday, but I called ahead and basically begged the receptionist to let us in by ourselves tonight. It took a good chunk of my rainy day fund, but I’d spend it with you anyway, so might as well.”

“Dean,” Cas interrupted. “Have I ever told you that you talk too much when you’re nervous?”

“All the time.”

“It’s true.”

“Shut up, Cas.”

Cas quirked an eyebrow at Dean, who narrowed his eyes in concern. He knew that look; he’d seen it far too often growing up. The next instant, Dean had a face full of icy snow, and Cas had knocked him down off the bench and onto the cold ground below.

“Give up!” Cas called at him, pinning Dean’s shoulders down with his knees and lifting a handful of snow threateningly. “I’ll do it. You know I will.”

“Do what?” Dean asked, his strong voice betrayed by the apprehension in his eyes.

At this, Cas deftly reached behind himself, lifted the hem of Dean’s shirt, and motioned like he was going to shove the snow underneath.

“Dammit, fine! I give up, just get off of me so we can watch this thing together. It’s hard to enjoy it with your dick a foot from my face,” Dean grumbled, but he was grinning.

Cas raised up and pulled Dean back up onto the bench in the darkness; the sun had finally crossed over the horizon, plunging the frozen area into semi-darkness. The snow still gave off some reflections in the dim light, appearing almost blue.

“What are we going to watch? You never told me,” Cas asked, and Dean motioned out across the Gardens.

“Any minute now,” he said, and Cas simply sat, confused, pressed up against Dean to keep warm.

Dean checked his watch. It truly was any second until the moment. He was giddy with excitement.

Finally, a few minutes later at eight minutes past seven, a slight whir could be heard, and the Gardens sprang to life. Cas stood up slowly, revolving on the spot to take in the wondrous sight that had just occurred in front of him, and all around him.

The Gardens were alight.

Twinkling lights hung from every surface, decorated every inch of the winter garden. Round, fat lights with false flowers inside shone from the ground, dotting the pathways like beacons. Beautiful fairy lights were draped in the trees in every imaginable color. In the distance, Cas could see the maze he and Dean had passed, all the twists and turns lit up brightly. 

Dean chuckled at the look of wonderment on Cas’ face.

“Dude, there’s more to it. Let’s go,” he said, and he took Cas by the hand to lead him down one meandering path.

Cas gripped Dean’s hand tightly, and they made their way down to a tunnel lit with purple and pink lights. Dean led the way in, and he and Cas came to a stop when they were completely enveloped by the colors.

“You like it?” Dean asked shyly, and Cas nodded.

“I love it,” he replied.

Dean beamed and looked around the cavernous tunnel. Cas noticed he wasn’t looking at the lights anymore; rather, he was watching the happiness spread across Dean’s face, the lights playing off his peaceful features. 

Cas stepped forward and leaned into Dean, allowing their lips to meet in a quiet, chaste kiss. He hugged him tightly around the waist before dropping his head to Dean’s shoulder and laying another soft kiss on his neck.

“I love _you_ ,” Cas said quietly.

“I love you too,” Dean answered. “So much.”

“This is breathtaking,” Cas said, and he stepped away to touch the warm lights, running his hand over their colors. “I wish I had my poetry journal.”

“Hey, nerd. Look at me,” Dean said with a grin.

Cas turned at the muffled sound of rustling paper, and he laughed when he saw Dean holding his leather bound poetry journal loosely in his left hand, the wedding band on his finger glinting purple in the lights. He reached out to take it, and Dean answered his unasked question.

“I didn’t read a word,” he admitted. “But I knew you’d want it. Come on, man, who knows you better than me?”

“No one,” Cas answered needlessly, and Dean elbowed him before reaching into his own coat pocket.

“Damn straight. That’s why I even remembered this.”

He pulled his iPod out of his coat, white earphones dangling, and Cas recognized the sound of classical violin music playing softly.

“Go ahead,” Dean said, handing Cas the iPod. “We’re going to sit here, and you can write about flowers or whatever poets talk about until our asses freeze to the ground.”

Dean winked at Cas, who took the device and pressed one earbud into his ear, offering the other to Dean, and together they sank down onto the cold gravel path. Cas chewed on his pen.

“How long until we have to go?” he asked, and Dean checked his watch.

“They said they’d kick me out in about an hour. But if you need more time…well, there’s plenty of places to hide in a giant garden.”

Cas kissed Dean again, and set to work in his poetry journal. He’d scribble a line or two, scratch out words he wanted to amend, and add in new ones. Dean knew he didn’t care if he read it or not, but he chose to give Cas his peace. Instead, he watched Cas work, his eyes filling with delight when he decided on a word, a worry crease forming between his brows when something wouldn’t come out right.

They sat on the frozen ground for forty five minutes before Cas deemed his poem done, but didn’t move. Instead, they sat, childhood friends turned soulmates, surrounded by lights and snow and icy winter air, until their hour was up and they moved to the exit.

*

“Finally,” Dean sighed Friday night when he and Cas made it back home.

“You act like you didn’t enjoy that,” Cas said lightly. “Hours in a car with me? I’m a delight.”

“You’re awful to travel with,” Dean said, and he and Cas deposited their bags in their living room floor in a heap. “Two million questions during that traffic jam alone.”

“I have a curious mind,” Cas retorted, hands on hips.

“Is that it?” Dean teased, and did his best imitation of Cas’ gravelly voice. “Dean, why does that car smoke when we stop? Dean, if we’re living in an alternate reality, but it’s the only one we’ve ever known, does it still count as alternate or is it real? Dean, how it is possible for the universe to be endless but also ever-growing?”

“Excuse me, that last one was a perfectly legitimate question. Something without an end can’t very well get bigger,” Cas grinned. “And I like traveling with you. I’m going to miss St. Louis.”

“We can go back,” Dean reasoned. “Right now, I just want to enjoy being back home with my husband in our house.”

Cas slipped his fingers into Dean’s belt loops and pulled him closer.

“Hmm. Husband…I like that.”

“You better. You’re stuck with me.”

“Dean, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Dean kissed Cas, and the two were just beginning to get particularly steamy when Dean’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Mmm,” he groaned, and he pulled away from Cas to tap the answer key. “Sammy, I hope you know what you just interrupted.”

“I’m at the hospital,” Sam’s voice sounded urgent. “Jess stood up and passed out at home. Mom’s in surgery with the doctor and won’t be out for a few hours. I didn't know what to do.”

“We'll be right there,” Dean said, and he ended the call. “Don’t take off your jacket.”

“What is it?” Cas asked, eyes wide.

“Sam took Jess to the hospital. Something’s wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it took me awhile! But grad school is almost over (a little over a month left, and I am FREE).
> 
> Now...what will the next chapter bring?


	11. Chapter 11

“Well, hello babies!” Missouri’s warm voice spilled over Dean and Cas when they rushed into the hospital. “Look at you two!”

“Missouri, we need to find Jess Moore’s room,” Dean said, breathless, clutching a stitch in his side; Cas wheezed slightly beside him.

“Relax, boys. Momma and baby are just fine. They’re up in room 167 if you want to head on over.”

“She’s okay? And the baby?” Cas asked anxiously, and Missouri grinned.

“Fit as a fiddle, both of ‘em. But your brother is gonna have to calm down before that baby of his gets here, or all that hair will fall right out of his head.”

“Yeah, he’s got too much anyway. Can we go up?” Dean asked.

“‘Course you can.”

Dean and Cas made their way to the elevators, much calmer now, and rode up to the next floor to find room 167. The hallways were unnaturally bright, as all hospitals tended to be, but the cracked open doors revealed the patients to all be sleeping, curtains drawn and lights cut out. Jess’ room was no exception; Dean and Cas crept in quietly, not wanting to wake her.

“Sam?” Dean whispered.

“Come in,” Jess’ voice answered, kind but exasperated. “Sam, did you have to call everyone we know?”

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Sam answered, and Dean could see his brother’s cheeks tinge in the dark room when he and Cas each took a seat in the hard-backed wooden chairs hospitals favor.

“I think it’s sweet, baby,” Jess said, pushing aside Sam’s hair with her hand, an IV taped to it. “But we’re both okay.”

“What the hell happened?” Dean asked, and he made to turn the light on.

“Ugh, leave it off,” Jess said, waving her hand in the direction of the tv. “The only things on are terrible 80s action movies. If I keep the light off, I can almost pretend I’m at the theater in 1988 with bad hair and neon shoes.”

Dean grinned and leaned over to kiss Jess on her arm. 

“You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sam too,” Jess teased. “But I’m fine. Turns out pregnant ladies with high blood pressure shouldn’t really eat the Texas Burrito at Lucia’s Taco Stand.”

Dean whistled between his teeth.

“So what, blood pressure spiked, you stood up and fainted?” he asked, and his hand closed around Jess’ wrist, fingers pressed to the hollow below her thumb.

“Uh, Dean? What are you doing?” Sam asked, while Dean stared at the clock on the wall to watch the second hand.

“Taking her pulse,” Cas answered immediately. “He does it to me every time I sneeze. I find it incredibly-”

“Endearing?” Sam supplied, and Cas nodded slowly.

“I was going to say ‘irritating’, but yes, that too.”

“Shut up, you love it,” Dean smacked at Cas’ leg with his other hand, and removed his hold on Jess. “Your pulse is normal. Are you still feeling lightheaded?”

Sam nodded his head at the beeping machine in the corner, monitoring Jess’ heart rate and blood pressure, as well as the movement and heart rate of the baby.

“I think you could have just read the machine,” Sam grinned.

“It’s cute,” Jess said, coming to Dean’s defense. “And no, I feel fine now. They gave me some fluids, and hooked me up to every wire they could.”

Dean smiled at her.

“I’m good, Dean. I promise. Thank you for coming so fast.”

“Anytime,” Dean said, and he sat back in his chair. “You tired?”

“Exhausted. I was supposed to go home an hour ago, but you know how hospitals are.”

Jess stifled a yawn behind her hand, and rubbed the other over her stomach subconsciously. At her touch, the movement monitor picked up a large, radiating sound.

“The hell was that?” Dean asked, and Jess just stared, eyes wide.

“He-he just kicked me.”

Sam was on his feet in a flash.

“Hasn’t he done that before?” Dean asked, and Jess shook her head.

“I’ve felt him move before, but that’s the first time he’s kicked like that. He moved my stomach.”

Dean stood up as well and joined Sam next to the bed. Sam was staring down at Jess’ stomach, and she pulled her shirt up to stare with them. Nothing happened, even when Jess moved her hand across her stomach again. Cas rose curiously as well to join them, watching the proceedings.

“Hey, move in there,” Sam said softly to Jess’ stomach, his breath tickling her.

“Anything?” Dean asked, and Jess shook her head again.

“No, just a little moving. No kicking.”

“Come on, kiddo. Kick for Uncle Dean,” Dean said, and he poked Jess softly.

“Hey! Ticklish!” she grinned, but nothing moved.

“Maybe the kid went back to sleep. He probably takes after Sam,” Dean said, ruffling his brother’s hair across the bed.

“Perhaps he was just getting comfortable,” Cas chimed in, and Jess gasped.

“He kicked!” she said.

The group stared down at Jess again, but nothing happened.

“Cas, talk again,” Dean said, nudging him with his shoulder. “He likes your voice.”

“I hardly think it was my voice-” Cas began, but he was cut off by the intake of air from Sam.

Jess’ stomach was rolling, the movement pronounced on her thin frame. She giggled at the sensation, and Dean elbowed Cas to keep him talking.

“Just lean down there. Say anything,” Dean said, and Cas did, looking awkward.

“Um, hello. My name is Cas. I’m your uncle. Well, I’m married to your uncle, so we aren’t family by blood-”

“Family doesn’t end with blood, Cas,” Dean said quietly, entwining their fingers together.

“Yes, well, I’m your Uncle Cas then,” Cas said, bolder now. “And I cannot wait to meet you.”

“Take your time, though,” Dean hopped in. “You’re not done baking yet.”

At this, the baby gave one enormous kick, causing Jess to very nearly leap up.

“Have to pee,” she said, unashamed, and made about untying herself from the machinery to drag her IV hook to the bathroom.

Sam helped her along, and the two had just come back out of the bathroom when Mary came into the room.

“I hear you had a scare,” she said, smiling warmly.

“Yeah. No more salty foods for me,” Jess said.

“I think that’s for the best. The hospital said to sign this, and you’re free to go. If you want to hang around, I get off in an hour,” Mary suggested, and Jess nodded tiredly.

“I’ll take them home,” Dean volunteered immediately, and Jess threw him a grateful smile.

Mary hugged them goodbye, promising to make Jess some green tea when she woke up in the morning.

Dean dropped off Sam and Jess not long after. They said goodnight in drained voices and dragged themselves to their front door. Dean and Cas hadn’t even made it to their own house before Sam and Jess had cut off all their lights and gone to bed.

Cas unlocked the door, and he and Dean stepped into their dark living room.

“Ugh,” Dean groaned, and he stretched until his back cracked. “When she goes into labor, we’re bringing our own chairs. Those suck.”

“How about a hot shower?” Cas asked, and he slipped his shoes off. “Hospitals always make me feel dirty.”

“Germaphobe,” Dean winked, and he made his way down the hall and up the stairs to their bathroom, stripping clothes off as he went.

When he made it to the shower and turned it on, he was surprised to see Cas behind him, holding a small pile of clothing, eyebrow cocked upwards.

“You dropped this,” he said, and he dropped the clothes into the hamper.

“Oops,” Dean said, throwing him his best cocky smile.

“Hmm,” Cas answered, clearly unimpressed. “You can do laundry tomorrow then.”

Dean rolled his eyes and climbed into the warm shower, the beads of heat beating down on his sore back muscles until he groaned. 

“The water pressure is amazing,” he sighed happily, eyes closed and forehead leaned against the cool tile, allowing the water to fall onto his lower back.

Dean opened his eyes at the sound of the glass shower door sliding open. Cas, naked and beautiful, stepped in quickly and closed the door behind him, the steam climbing up his body in spirals and causing his hair to quickly flatten.

“You need something?” Dean asked with a grin, and Cas pursed his lips.

“It’s faster for us to shower together,” he answered curtly.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Dean said, straightening up and pulling Cas to him. “It has nothing to do with hot water and closed spaces.”

Cas reached behind Dean’s shoulder for the shampoo.

“Close your eyes,” he said, and Dean did, allowing Cas to guide his head back into the water and wet his hair.

Cas poured a small dollop of shampoo into his hands and worked it into Dean’s hair, his hands roving and moving through the strands gently in small circles to clean it out. Then he leaned Dean’s head back gently again to rinse out the suds.

“I get to do that to you too,” Dean said at once, and Cas didn’t object.

Dean washed Cas’ hair with the strawberry shampoo he favored, and then he and Cas took turns soaping each other down with body wash and rinsing off in the hot water until their skin was pink from the heat. Cas placed a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips and turned off the shower, stepping out and grabbing them both big, fluffy blue towels. He and Dean dried off, then pressed against each other, their towels dropping to the floor.

Their skin was still sticky and damp from the shower, mottled pink and nearly red, and warm to the touch. When Dean kissed Cas on the neck, his lips felt cool by comparison. 

“Bed?” Dean asked, and Cas nodded.

“Bed.”

They soon crawled into their comfortable bed in the darkened room, and Dean let out a sigh.

“There’s nothing like coming back home,” he said.

Cas leaned in to kiss him.

“I’ll never get tired of you calling this place home,” he said.

“You’re a sentimental little shit, you know that?” Dean joked.

Cas rolled over until he was laying on top of Dean .

“It’s the poet in me. Do you want a poet in you?”

“Dude,” Dean said, and he laughed, causing Cas to rise and fall on his chest. “That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

Cas grinned widely.

“So is that a no?” he asked, cocking his head.

“Oh, hell no, I never said that,” Dean replied, and he leaned up to kiss Cas softly.

“You’re a nerd,” Dean said between kisses. “But you’re mine.”

“I’ll always be yours,” Cas said, and Dean hummed his approval against his lips.

Dean let his legs splay slightly apart, and Cas grinned at the sudden movement. He rolled his hips down, letting their warm skin slide against each other. Dean grunted out a small sound and canted his hips upward to bring them together again. Cas leaned down and kissed Dean deeply, letting their tongues slip against one another, until Dean gave another small thrust upward.

“Cas,” he said quietly. “Want you.”

Cas shifted his weight to his left arm and let his right hand roam down Dean’s body. He mapped the curve of his chest, the slight softness of his stomach, the dip beside his hip bone. He brought his hand lower, finally coming to rest at Dean’s entrance, and circled it around, causing Dean to gasp audibly.

“T-top drawer,” Dean said, waving his hand to his right.

Cas moved over, keeping his one hand where it was busy making Dean squirm and laying his body across Dean’s to free his other hand, and reached blindly into the top drawer, finally pulling out the red tube of lube. He sat up and squirted some onto his fingers before laying the container beside him on the bed.

He slowly pushed one finger into Dean, inching in slowly then backing off, repeating the process until he was completely pressed inside and Dean was heaving breaths. 

“Feel good?” Cas asked, and he crooked his finger to brush Dean’s prostate.

“Ah!” Dean’s hips gave a jerk.

“That’s a yes,” Cas laughed softly. “I think I can do better.”

He pressed another finger into Dean and began to push in and pull out in a slow rhythm. Then he leaned down and took the tip of Dean’s leaking dick into his mouth and sucked slightly.

“Cas!” Dean thrust up, and Cas obliged, sinking down to the base of Dean’s cock and swallowing around it, causing Dean to curl his toes.

Cas sucked and bobbed on Dean’s cock, scissoring his hole open wider all the time, until Dean was nearly whimpering and thrusting himself up into Cas’ mouth and back down onto his fingers. Cas came off of his dick and reached for the lube, and Dean groaned at the sudden loss of sensation.

Cas slicked himself up, allowing a few pulls on his own dick. Dean flipped over onto his stomach, and grinned sheepishly back at Cas.

“Sorry, I like it this way,” he said, embarrassed.

“Never apologize for something that deserves no apology,” Cas replied.

“Save the philosophy for after you pound me into the bed,” Dean said, laughing.

Cas smiled and adjusted Dean on the bed. He lifted his hips higher into the air and let Dean lay his head down on the pillows.

Then Cas leaned forward and gave a small, tentative lick at Dean’s hole.

“Shit!” Dean exclaimed, jumping. “D-do that again.”

Cas licked again, this time circling his tongue. He alternated licking and the occasional flick against the ring of muscle until Dean was wet with saliva.

“Cas,” Dean gave a broken sounding moan of his name, and Cas sat up.

He lined himself up and slowly pressed in, eyes clenched against the sensation. Dean’s body was still warm from the shower, the skin remarkably soft, and Cas clutched at his hips to steady himself. The sensations were mind blowing, and Cas’ eyes flew open when he bottomed out. He calmed himself by taking in every inch of Dean’s body he could, examining every scar, every freckle.

“Dean,” he said suddenly. “You’re beautiful.”

Dean relaxed at the words.

“I love you, Cas,” he said quietly, then his hips shifted slightly under Cas’ hands. “ _Move_.”

Cas pulled back and pushed back in slowly, drawing a small moan from Dean, who pressed backwards in an attempt to get Cas as far inside of himself as he could. Cas pulled out again and Dean moved back forward, then met Cas’ thrust with his own movement, causing Cas to let out a gasp.

Cas caressed Dean’s skin while they slowly gained speed in their movements. Dean reached backward and smoothed his hand up Cas’ thigh, squeezing it slightly when Cas brushed against his prostate again.

“Cas, wait,” Dean said breathlessly, and he moved forward until Cas slid out of him.

Dean rolled over onto his back and spread his legs, motioning for Cas to continue.

“I wanted to see you,” he said softly.

Cas bent over and kissed Dean gently, propping himself up on one arm and using his free hand to guide himself back into Dean’s hole. He moved in with one slick movement, and kissed Dean deeply as he did so. Dean’s hands clutched at Cas’ shoulders, and he moaned into his mouth.

They set an easy, steady pace, enjoying every slow languid movement of their bodies. Cas leaned down and rested his forehead against Dean’s, thrusting into him deep and slow and brushing against his prostate.

“Feels good,” Dean whispered, eyes locked on Cas’.

Cas stared back at him, his blue eyes gentle. They rocked together, pleasure coursing between them, building greater every moment.

“Dean,” Cas said quietly. “I love you.”

Dean clenched his hands tightly against Cas’ shoulders as his orgasm ripped through his body. He tensed up and came hard, shooting his warm release between their bodies and moaning loudly. His legs tightened around Cas’ waist, holding him in place deep inside his body, and the sensation was enough to push Cas over as well. He dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder and came with a grunt, spilling deep inside the warmth surrounding him. 

Cas gave another feeble thrust to prolong the sensations, then picked his head back up to gaze at Dean again.

“You’re amazing,” he said, out of breath.

Dean laughed, the genuine sound causing Cas’ chest to tighten and a smile to cross his own face.

“You did all the work,” Dean replied, and he looked with vague disgust between their bodies. “But we really need to clean up.”

“Mmm. I rather like seeing you covered like this.”

“Jesus, Cas,” Dean said, and he closed his eyes briefly. “I don’t have the energy to go again. But damn, if that didn’t make me want to try.”

Cas chuckled and pulled out of Dean, who groaned at the loss.

“I’ll get a washcloth,” he said, and he padded to the bathroom to clean himself up and bring one back for Dean.

He returned soon and tossed a fresh washcloth to Dean softly. Dean caught it an quickly cleaned himself off, and he and Cas threw on pajama bottoms before crawling under the blanket and holding each other close. They lay on their sides and faced one another, sometimes kissing, and sometimes simply looking.

“I want to memorize every freckle you have,” Cas said.

“You’d be staring for a while,” Dean said dryly. “But with that brain of yours, you’d have me memorized in a day.”

“Staring at you for a day? Sounds perfect,” Cas said.

“And what would I do the whole day?” Dean teased.

“Yes, I don’t have freckles. I’d say you could memorize me fairly quickly.”

“I don’t need a day. I think I’ve got you memorized already,” he said, and Cas tilted his head. “You’ve got a scar on your arm from where you jumped off my shed.”

Dean brushed his hand across the exact spot on Cas’ arm.

“And there’s the one above your eye where Raph hit you with the bat,” Dean continued, touching it. “The one on your big toe from the nail at the lumberyard, the one shaped like a fishing hook on your knee from when you fell on the briar bush when we went camping in fourth grade. I know you, every _inch_ of you, every accident and fall.”

“Are you saying I’m accident prone, Dean Winchester?” Cas grinned.

“No, I’m saying you’re covered in stories, not freckles, and I know every one.”

Cas leaned into Dean and kissed him slowly. Dean softly cupped Cas’ face with a large, calloused hand, and when they pulled apart, he brushed his thumb across Cas’ cheekbone.

“Dean,” Cas said, eyes studying Dean. “What would you think about saying yes to Anna and Jo’s offer?”

Dean’s eyes widened.

“Are-are you serious?” he asked.

“Yes,” Cas said. “If you want to.”

“Hell yes I want to!” Dean said excitedly. 

He pulled Cas in and hugged him tightly.

“Cas,” he said honestly. “You’re going to be the best dad.”

Cas grinned and cuddled in closer, while Dean lay back on the bed. They lay in the darkness, the only sounds in the cool winter night being the furnace as it kicked on to heat the old home, and the occasional rustle of empty tree branches against the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing smutty smut is fun, but there's something to be said about writing your two favorite characters making love instead. *happy sigh* I hope you all enjoyed reading that as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Now! Onward to a big step in the boys' lives!


	12. Chapter 12

“You _what_? Are you serious?” Jo’s voice shrieked over the phone the next morning.

“What?” Dean could hear Anna in the background.

“They want to use your baby factory!” Jo exclaimed.

“Come on, Jo, don’t say it like that-,” Dean admonished, but Jo couldn’t possibly hear him over the sound of Anna screaming excitedly.

“Jo?” Dean tried again, but she and Anna were talking happily. “Jo! I’m still here, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I’m so happy for you!” Jo said. “Look, I’m going to call right now and see when they can see us. Call you right back.”

“Okay, talk to you-”

The phone call ended with a click, and Dean sat down on the couch next to a grinning Cas.

“So they’re excited?” Cas asked, and Dean laughed.

“You could say that. So you sure about this?” Dean asked.

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t. And you? Is this what you want?” Cas asked, and Dean grinned.

“Let me think about that. Waking up early in the morning to poop diapers, midnight feedings, permanent spit up stains on my clothes and probably in the car. Temper tantrums, and God help us, teenage years with rebellion and bad decisions.”

“Dean-,” Cas said worriedly, but Dean put his hand up to silence him.

“But then there’s rocking the baby back to sleep while I sing Kansas, waking up to a kid jumping on us and calling us daddy, holding our hands, saying they love us, plays at school…”

“And those ‘rebellious teenage years’?” Cas asked, eyes tilting his head, eyes twinkling.

“That’s what Mom is for,” Dean said, winking mischievously. “We send the kid over there and let Mom knock some sense into them. Problem solved.”

Cas laughed out loud, and the phone rang again. Dean picked it up.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me say goodbye earlier,” he said wryly, but he was met by Jo’s laughter.

“I had more important things to do! Look, I called the clinic, and we’re lucky; turns out, they stop accepting applications next week. Since all the kids around here are born during the summer, they said it’s pointless to try fertilization after that window has passed, it won’t take. So we’re going Monday. The doc sent me a list of donor eggs for you to pick out. I just emailed it to you.”

“Monday?” Dean asked, surprised.

“Yes, Dean,” he could visualize Jo rolling her eyes. “So choose wisely, young Skywalker. Anna and I are taking a look at the sperm donor list.”

“You’re doing this too?” Dean asked. “Aren’t Anna’s parents going to lose their shit when you two have a baby before you’re married?”

“Yeah, about that,” Jo said nonchalantly. “We may have gone to the courthouse and gotten married while you two were away on your sex fest.”

“ _Honeymoon_ , Jo, damn. You couldn’t wait until we got back?” 

“We aren’t all big on giant weddings like you, Winchester,” she teased, and Dean groaned.

“That was Jess! All her, I swear!”

“You didn't act like you hated it,” Jo replied.

“I’m going to go look at this list now. Pick out some good man sauce for your ovaries.”

“Aw, dude,” Jo gagged over the phone. “Not cool.”

“Fair is fair, Harvelle.”

“That’s Milton!” she said back haughtily and Dean laughed.

“And that’s adorable. Call me before you leave on Monday and I’ll meet you at your place.”

Dean hung up the phone, and immediately grabbed his laptop to find the list of donors Jo had sent. He squished himself up next to Cas, their shoulders brushing as always, and opened the list.

“Not too popular to donate eggs, apparently,” Dean mused, looking at the list of seven donors.

“It’s more painful than donating sperm. And not as enjoyable,” Cas nudged Dean, grinning.

“So, which do you like?” Dean asked, and he and Cas scanned the document.

_Donor 1: 22, 5’4”, red hair, blue eyes. Musician, fire-fighter. Family history of diabetes._  
Donor 2: 28, 5’2”, blonde hair, brown eyes. Pre-med student. Clean family history.  
Donor 3: 19, 5’7”, brown hair, brown eyes. Works in retail. Family history of emphysema.  
Donor 4: 31, 5’11”, blonde hair, green eyes. Unemployed. Clean family history.  
Donor 5: 26, 5’5”, blonde hair, blue eyes. Author. Clean family history.  
Donor 6: 25, 5’3”, blonde hair, green eyes. Teacher. Clean family history.  
Donor 7: 28, 5’8”, blonde hair, blue eyes. Welder. Family history of high blood pressure. 

“Well, one, three, and seven are out. Look at the family histories,” Cas mused.

“Yeah, I agree. And four isn’t a good match. She donated her eggs late, which means there’s a bigger chance of a birth defect,” Dean said, and Cas looked at him questioningly. “Come on, man, my mom’s a nurse. I know these things.”

“So that leaves two, five, and six,” Cas said, thinking out loud. “But I’d rather not have two.”

“Why? Pre-med, clean family history. What’s not to like?” Dean asked.

“Her eyes,” Cas said, looking into Dean’s. “Brown is dominant, and I would very much like our baby to have your beautiful eyes.”

Dean flushed.

“I was going to say we should go with five. The baby would have a chance at your eyes, and the donor is a writer, just like you.”

“I would prefer six, and a chance for your eye color.”

“Flip a coin?” Dean suggested, and Cas raised his eyebrows.

“You want to leave something this important to chance?”

“Fine, no coin. Just tell me, heads or tails?” Dean asked.

“Heads?” Cas answered, bewildered.

“Thank you,” Dean said, and he picked up his phone to call his brother, who answered on the second ring. “Sammy! Heads or tails?”

Dean clicked the phone to speaker, and Sam’s confused voice echoed through the room.

“Uh…tails?” he answered, and Dean beamed.

“Thanks little bro!” he said, and he hung up the phone.

“Looks like it’s donor five, the blue-eyed writer!” Dean said excitedly, and he kissed Cas on the cheek to make him smile. “Hey, I didn’t leave it to chance! I asked Sam!”

“I suppose so,” Cas answered, and Dean grew serious.

“If you’d rather go with the other donor-,” Dean began.

“Dean, it’s fine. The eye color of our baby is a tiny detail. The important thing is that this is our baby, together, no matter what he or she looks like.”

Dean grinned.

“Besides,” Cas said, rising. “Genetics are strange anyway. There’s no guarantee on what the outcome will be. We studied flies in high school genetics, and the layout of genes was far too complex to be certain of any characteristic.”

“I love you,” Dean said, standing to grab Cas around the waist. “You little nerd.”

“Mmm,” Cas said. “How about you let the ‘nerd’ make some grilled cheese sandwiches and soup?”

“Did I say nerd?” Dean said, widening his eyes dramatically. “I meant culinary genius.”

“Dean Winchester, sucking up will get you…” he kissed Dean softly, “everywhere.”

*

The trip to the Roman clinic had been spectacularly dull compared to what Dean expected. He and Cas signed piles of papers, deposited their “samples”, and then Anna was taken to a back room with Jo, where both of them were implanted with fertilized eggs. The bored receptionist had told the girls to come back in a little over five weeks’ time, and to call if there were any difficulties. Only a sonogram on the next visit could confirm the pregnancies, which meant everyone had a stressful month ahead.

Cas and Anna passed the time by performing outstandingly in their college courses, to no one’s surprise. Anna breezed through the first part of her second semester, rambling on about how she adored her History in Film class. Dean didn’t blame her; watching old war movies for college credit sounded awesome. Cas, on the other hand, was taking some general education classes, including a math class he loathed.

“Why would anyone ever need to know the Pythagorean Theorem in daily life?” he questioned one night after dinner, books strewn about.

“We did that in middle school,” Dean replied, tugging the book out of Cas’ hand. “You got all A’s on it too, so I know you can do this sh- what the hell is this?”

Dean stared at the page, confusion etched on his face.

“Only part of the problem,” Cas grumbled. “I have to figure out the Pythagorean thing, but then there’s some graphing for some reason, and I think I need to add these two numbers…or is it multiply?”

“Dude, what the hell are you taking this class for?” Dean asked, and he handed the book back over.

“Because the university says I need it for a well-rounded education,” Cas countered, scowling. “As I also apparently need a gym credit.”

Dean smiled widely. He’d been giving Cas hell since he’d finished registering for courses at the start of the semester. Apparently, Lincoln University required a gym credit, and distance learners were required to do it at their local gym. The only courses open to the public at Chesterfield’s gym were weightlifting (which Cas had adamantly refused to sign up for) and yoga.

Dean teased Cas for it mercilessly until Cas came home from class one night and showed Dean all of the interesting positions he’d found his body was capable of contorting into.

“Don’t complain. All those positions…the crane, the one where you lift your foot over your head, dog-in-heat-”

“It’s _downward facing dog_ , Dean.”

“Not from my point of view,” Dean smirked, and Cas smacked him in the face with a throw pillow and leapt up quickly.

“Oh, it’s on,” Dean said, and he jumped up quickly too, arming himself with the pillow Cas hadn’t run off with.

Cas laughed and sprinted to the other side of the coffee table.

“I’m faster than you,” Cas said, weaving back and forth like a professional boxer.

“Yeah, but I’m unpredictable!” Dean shouted, and he jumped over the coffee table.

He misjudged the distance, and his foot caught the underside before he could even make the complete jump, causing the pillow to fly off to one side, and him to land hard on his knee on the wooden surface and roll painfully over to the floor.

“Dean!” Cas said worriedly. “Are you hurt?”

Dean felt around his knee, tender but otherwise unharmed, and turned a face tinged with embarrassment toward Cas.

“Nah, I’m good,” he said.

“Good,” Cas replied, and he whacked Dean in the face with the throw pillow.

“Cheater! Hitting a man when he’s down!” Dean yelled, but Cas had dissolved into hysterical laughter, hands braced on his knees while he laughed. 

Dean narrowed his eyes and, quick as a flash, grabbed hold of Cas’ ankle and pulled his leg out from under him, causing him to hit the ground next to him.

“Told you,” Dean said, Cas’ giggles still subsiding. “Unpredictable. I’m like freakin’ Bruce Banner.”

“Who?” Cas asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Dude. Tell me you know who the Hulk is,” Dean asked, and Cas shook his head.

“No. Is he a wrestler?”

“Yeah, we’re fixing this right now. Put your homework away, Cas. This calls for a Netflix intervention.”

Dean and Cas marathoned Marvel movies for the next several nights, so that the night before the “big reveal” as Dean liked to call it, they were cuddled up together on the couch rewatching Winter Soldier. 

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Cas said suddenly, when Bucky pulled Steve from the water.

“You’re literally in a gay relationship, and this grosses you out?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Cas asked, bewildered.

“Come on, man. Steve and Bucky? I know it was the forties, but don’t try telling me they weren’t knockin’ combat boots.”

“They’re just friends,” Cas said, shaking his head.

“So were we.”

“I’m not arguing fictional romantic relationships with you. I think I’ll go to bed,” Cas said, and Dean grasped his upper arm to stop him from standing.

“Alright,” Dean said. “Talk to me.”

“I’m nervous about tomorrow,” Cas said quietly. “What if it didn’t work?”

“Then we try again,” Dean said. “Look, one way or another, our lives are going to change tomorrow. I’m ready for it, as long as I’ve got you. Well, and Sam too, if we’re including little brothers with stupid hair.”

“Anything could go wrong. The egg may have not taken, something could be wrong with the baby, or something could be wrong with Anna because we made her have our baby-”

“It could,” Dean said with a nod. “There’s a list of things that could be wrong.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Cas said, pressing his fingers to his eyes.

“But there’s a list that could go right,” Dean said, pulling Cas’ hands away from his eyes to hold them in his own. “Maybe the kid will get your talent at writing and be famous. Or get my skills with cars and fix up an old shaggin’ wagon for our retirement. We’ll travel the country in a Volkswagen van that still smells like 1965. Shag carpet and all.”

Cas laughed and Dean hugged him closer, resting his chin on his head and laying them both backward on the couch, tangled in each other.

“And we’ll be somewhere down in Mississippi, getting ready to get naked, laid out on that purple shag carpet, and you know what we’ll find?” Dean asked, and Cas hummed to question him. “A secret compartment in the floor, and it’s going to be filled with sixties shit. I’m talking genuine mood rings, some antique drugs in an antique bong, and hell, maybe even some girl’s bra from when Shaggin’ Wagon Guy got lucky back in the day.”

Dean adjusted his legs and rubbed his hand up and down Cas’ back, who sighed happily.

“And at the very bottom of this 60s crap, there’s going to be a notebook that used to belong to the Beatles. It’s where they’d write their ideas for songs, and all the best of ‘em would be in there. Hey Jude, Yesterday, all of it. I don’t even care that they weren’t written at the same time. That’s what it would be. And we’d sell it to a rabid collector for a huge amount of money. Retire on the beach somewhere, with our shaggin’ wagon and your poetry books and my car. Sam and Jess could come visit and bring their kids and grandkids, and our kids and grandkids, and we’d all pile up on the beach and have a bonfire.”

Dean yawned widely and reclined his head back on the arm of the couch.

“I’d have to wear sunscreen because you’ll still make me. Everyone would stay with us in our giant house, and you and I would wait until everyone was asleep, and sneak out of bed and down the halls, just so we could check on them and watch them all sleep. You’d say something really cheesy and poetic and perfect. What do you think about that, Cas? How’s that sound?”

Cas didn’t answer, and Dean tilted his head at an uncomfortable angle to look at him. He was sound asleep, hand curled up against Dean’s chest. Dean lay his head back against the arm of the couch again, enjoying the feel of Cas’ warm weight on his body.

“Because you know what, Cas? I think that sounds awesome.”

*

The next morning dawned cold, and Dean and Cas found themselves stiff and aching from sleeping on the couch all night.

“Damn,” Dean groaned, arching his back to stretch out the kinks and causing Cas to grumble from his place on Dean’s chest.

“Is that the remote I feel?” Cas asked shrewdly.

“It’s first thing in the morning, Cas,” Dean answered. “Nothing weird about a little morning wood.”

“Hmm,” Cas hummed, skimming his body up Dean’s until they were face to face. “I know.”

And with that he gave a sinful roll of his hips, letting his own arousal brush against Dean’s, and caused the other man to let out a small moan. Dean reached up his hands to grab Cas’ waist, intent on rubbing them together again, but Cas leapt up and out of reach.

“We’ve got a busy day,” he said, eyes glinting mischievously. “But maybe tonight we can keep going, if you aren’t too tired. I wouldn’t want to make you sleepy at work tomorrow.”

“I can get by on four hours sleep if I need to,” Dean said, standing as well. “And I have a feeling I really need to.”

Cas grinned.

“Put your jeans on. We need to leave soon.”

Twenty minutes (and one small argument over the state of his ripped jeans) later, Dean and Cas shut the doors of the Impala and began the drive to the Roman clinic. They passed the time by listening to Dean’s old tapes and singing, off-key and enthusiastically, to their favorite songs. As they neared the building, both seemed to fold into themselves, quieting and becoming jumpy and nervous.

“Dean,” Cas said, once they had parked the car and were walking into the clinic to meet Jo and Anna.

“Yeah, me too,” Dean answered, and he entwined his fingers with Cas’.

A small squeal sounded in the waiting room, which gave Anna away immediately. Dean and Cas turned to see her coming at them, and she hugged them tightly.

“Where’s Jo?” Dean asked.

“Oh, she’ll be back in a minute. She needed to go to the bathroom and-”

“Puke,” Jo’s voice called as she joined them. “Again. It’s all I do. Wake up? Puke. Eat a cracker? Puke. Getting ready for bed? Yeah, puke again.”

“Feeling better?” Anna asked, tenderness written on her face.

“For the next hour or so,” Jo answered with a grin, and she sank down into one of the hard chairs in the waiting room.

“How about you? Throwing up any?” Dean asked Anna, who shook her head and frowned, and they sat down as well.

“No, not at all. I feel completely normal,” she shrugged, and gave Jo’s hand a squeeze. “Looks like Jo got all the bad luck.”

Cas shot Dean a worried glance, and Dean shook his head minutely from side to side. There was no reason to be worried, after all. Everyone’s body reacted differently to pregnancy. That had to be it. Surely Anna was pregnant.

“Winchester? Milton?” a nurse called their names from the doorway, and they all got to their feet to follow her back to a large white room.

“So, who first?” the kind woman asked, and Jo stepped forward.

“That’s me,” she answered, and the nurse held out her hospital gown.

“Wonderful,” the nurse said. "Get undressed from the waist down and hop up on the table, dear.”

“Why? It’s just an ultrasound,” Jo questioned.

“Oh, we’re testing for pregnancy today. You’re far too early on to be able to use the exterior method,” the nurse waved her hand. “The doctor will be in soon.”

She left, and Jo looked bewildered, but ordered the boys to turn around while she changed into her gown.

“You’re good. My girly bits are hidden,” Jo said, and Dean and Cas turned to see her sitting warily on the table. “What did she mean, external method? What other kind of ultrasound is there?”

A knock sounded on the door, and a stooped and hobbled old man entered the room.

“Morning!” he said brightly. “Lord, we’ve got a room full today! I’m Doctor Jones, nice to meet you!”

He went around the room, shaking all hands in turn, before turning back to Jo.

“Now, young lady, you ready to see if you’re cooking a baby in there?” he asked, and he reached to a table to turn on a screen.

“Can’t wait,” Jo answered, and the doctor smiled at her.

“Alright, let’s just get everything set up here. Lay back for me, let me grab the wand.”

“The what?” Jo asked.

The doctor picked up a probe shaped device from the cart beside the computer screen, seven inches of white plastic and rounded edges. He then unwrapped a condom and rolled it down the length before adding some clear gel to lubricate it.

“Oh, fuck no,” Jo groaned from the table, but the doctor just winked at her.

“It’s not that bad. Natural shape and all that, and with this much jelly on it, it won’t hurt. Promise,” he crossed his heart with the hand not currently holding the equivalent of a medical dildo.

“I’m not big on penis, in case you couldn’t tell by my soulmate,” Jo shot back.

“I’m not either,” the doctor said, and Jo laughed.

“Come on then, let’s get this over with,” Jo said.

The doctor moved toward Jo, and Dean suddenly felt extremely awkward.

“Hey, me and Cas are going to wait outside, okay? Let us know when it’s our go.”

He made a hasty retreat, pulling Cas behind him, who laughed once the door was shut.

“I am so glad men can’t get pregnant,” he said, and Cas nodded.

“Yes. But we could always get one of those probes to use at home.”

“ _Dude_!”

Cas and Dean spent the next fifteen minutes laughing and screwing off, much to the irritation of one particularly snobbish nurse, who shot them dirty looks when they mentioned the words “doctor dildo”.

The doctor emerged a short time later, giving time for Anna to get undressed and swap places with Jo, and Dean deemed it safe to enter the room again. He didn’t even need to ask the result of Jo’s test, as she was glowing with happiness and holding Anna’s hand as she lay on the table in her fresh hospital gown.

“Knock knock!” the doctor said, entering the room just as Dean and Cas had hugged and congratulated Anna and Jo. “Your turn, my little ginger.”

Dean and Cas averted their eyes while the doctor positioned the probe, and Dean turned the lights off when he was instructed to.

The doctor moved the probe left and right, pushed upward and backwards, and rolled it over with an expert twist of his hand. The computer screen displayed a sea of gray and black shapes, moving as the doctor moved the probe, and Dean began to feel his stomach turn to ice. There was no gap in the gray, nothing indicating a growing placenta or baby. He dropped his eyes to the floor and held onto Cas’ hand to ground himself.

Cas gave a sudden gasp and clenched tightly to his hand.

“Aha! There you are, you little bugger!” the doctor exclaimed.

Dean’s gaze shot back to the screen. There, in a sea of darkness on the screen, lay a figure in a circle, moving ever so slightly. It didn’t look like a baby; in fact, it didn’t look like much of anything at all. But Dean knew he loved it with all his heart.

“Hiding away!” the doctor chuckled. “Someone is shy. Step a little closer here, daddies. Meet your baby.”

Dean and Cas moved closer to the screen, never letting go of one another. The doctor took pictures and made measurements, and the boys stared in silence the entire time.

“Well, now. Everything seems right as rain! Ready to hear your baby?” Doctor Jones asked, and Dean and Cas nodded. “Then listen close, fellas.”

The doctor pushed a button on the ultrasound device, and a garbled sound echoed through the room. A steady bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump. Cas’ hand squeezed Dean’s, and Dean wiped hastily at his eyes. That was their baby, and their baby’s heartbeat. A tiny, beautiful life that Dean was going to get to hold in his hands someday. His stomach lurched happily at the thought of putting his hand on his sleeping baby’s chest and feeling that same heartbeat underneath of it. His thoughts then traveled to Cas, rocking the baby to sleep in the first place, humming quietly and patting its small bottom, and gazing at Dean happily as he did so. Dean imagined watching the scene from the doorway, coming into the room just as Cas laid their baby down to sleep in the crib, and stealing a quick kiss before sneaking off to bed, ready to wake in a few short hours to feed their baby and give it all the love in the world.

Their baby. _Their baby_.

Dean swallowed and pulled Cas to him by the hand. He kissed him in the glow of the hospital monitors, just as he had the night he had finally told Cas he was in love with him. Only this time, instead of the beeping of machinery that could have meant the end of Cas’ life and their story, they were met by the perfect sound of their growing baby’s heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can tell you from experience, friends, the Doctor Dildo is a real thing, and it's how they check on the baby before it's big enough to be seen on the traditional outer ultrasound. Yes, it does look like some kind of robotic dick, and yes, they do honestly put a condom and lube on it. And yes, hearing my son's heartbeat for the first time was exactly as magical as I wrote it here. He's in school now, all grown up, but I still sneak into his room sometimes and feel the beat of his heart. :)


	13. Chapter 13

The due dates for both babies, the doctor surmised, would be sometime in mid-September; they had barely made the cut to make it for that year’s births, and though they wouldn’t necessarily have the same birthdate, Anna couldn’t stop talking about it.

“We’re the last births of the year! That means the kids won’t get their soulmating day until the end. Ooh! What if they’re paired with each other?” she squealed over the phone one evening. “Think about it! They’ll both be sitting around, about to turn 18, slowly watching all their friends get soulmated and wonder when it will be their turn…and then wham! They wake up on their birthday and they’re in the same room!”

“Anna,” Cas said, smiling but rubbing his eyes at the same time. “Let’s wait until they’re born before we marry them off.”

Dean stood and stretched widely, yawning, and Cas’ eyes followed his every move. 

“But I need to go. I have a big test in the morning.”

“Yeah, sure. How naked is Dean right now?” she asked with a barely concealed laugh.

“Not nearly as much as he needs to be. Goodnight,” Cas said calmly, and he hung up the phone, barely registering Anna’s farewell on the other end.

“Hey, man. Anna driving you crazy?” Dean asked, and Cas crossed the room quickly to wrap him up in his arms.

They spent far too long entangled in each other that night, meaning Dean was more tired than usual waking up the following morning. He and Cas woke up early as normal, ate a fast breakfast of whatever was in the cabinets (this morning, a typical breakfast of bagels and Nutella), and then Dean drove to work. It wasn’t until late that afternoon, elbow deep in the workings of a Ford truck, that Dean realized he hadn’t stopped smiling all day.

*

Their twenty week appointment was scheduled for a Friday afternoon. Bobby, being the awesome boss he was, had insisted Dean take off a little early, with his only stipulation being to “call as soon as the doc said if he was getting a niece or a nephew.”

“Let’s be honest, Bobby,” Dean had replied. “You’re more like the grumpy granddad with a heart of gold.”

“I ain’t old enough to be a granddad,” Bobby had huffed back at him. “And I’m still young enough to kick your ass for suggesting it. Go on, get.”

And Dean had.

Dean and Cas waited patiently in the sitting room, Anna and Jo sitting by their side, and all grinning like idiots at each other. Dean kept fielding texts from Jess, Sam, and Mary while they waited, and though he complained, he was quite glad for the distraction.

“So, you two have names picked out?” Jo said, her hand resting on her protruding stomach. 

“Um…not yet,” Cas replied, and cast a shy look at Dean; they’d been too nervous to look names up, afraid it was bad luck. “How about you?”

And that was all it took. Anna and Jo were off, discussing names and their meanings, and everything they were looking forward to about being mothers. The minutes in the waiting room ticked by as they excitedly discussed everything from diapers to nicknames, and everything in between. When Anna took out her phone to show Cas a picture of the nursery they were working on, Dean nudged Jo.

“You’re already building the nursery?” he teased. “You’re only halfway there.”

“It’s all Anna,” Jo said, rolling her eyes.

“And here’s the one Jo liked best,” Anna’s voice carried over them while she showed Cas more pictures. “She looked up patterns online for an hour for that quilt.”

“All Anna, huh?” Dean asked.

“Shut it, Winchester,” Jo retorted, and she laughed, growing silent for a moment and rubbing her hand in small circles over her stomach. “I can’t believe this is my life. That something so good is going to happen to me and Anna, you know?” 

“Yeah, I get that,” Dean said quietly.

“And I’m so scared. I’m scared I’m going to fuck up, scar the kid for life. But then I look at Anna, and I know everything is going to be okay. We’re both going to mess up, but that’s alright. Everything will work out, because I love this kid already.”

Jo gave another soft laugh.

“Anna’s got everything under control, like always. Last night, we were lying in bed, and I was having this freak out over having a baby, but she was completely calm. She just rubbed my stomach, and she started talking. She was telling the kid how much we love it already, and then she started making these promises. You’ll never be alone, you can always talk to us, we’ll love you forever, that kind of stuff. She told the kid about everything we’re going to do, the vacations and school trips, and baking cookies. And I just watched her do it, and you know what? She’s right,” Jo cast a glance at Anna, who was laughing loudly with Cas about baby names. “She’s always right.”

“Look at you,” Dean mused under his breath. “All grown up.”

“Winchester? The doctor will see you now,” the nurse called from her door, and Cas and Anna rose with Dean to go to the door.

“You coming?” Dean asked Jo, and she shook her head.

“Nah. You all have your moment. See you in a bit.”

The boys followed Anna into a sonogram room, where she promptly climbed up onto the bed and hitched her shirt up to uncover her stomach.

“Knock knock!” a familiar voice called at the door, and Doctor Jones poked his bald head in. “I hear that today’s the day we see if the baby has a stick on the apple!”

“A very technical, medical school term, I’m sure,” Cas said, and the doctor laughed, coming in and shutting the door behind him. 

“So is ‘doctor dildo’, which my nurse was kind enough to tell me you two call the sonogram wand,” Doctor Jones said. “Which is a highly accurate description. Now! Let me get this thing jellied up, and we’re ready to take a look!”

The doctor grabbed the exterior sonogram tool, and liberally applied the same sticky, intrusive smelling gel to the applicator and Anna’s stomach. She flinched slightly at its coldness, but settled back down with good grace as the doctor clicked the monitor on. 

“Doc, could you do us a favor and not tell us out loud? Just write it down so we can take it with us?” Dean asked, and Doctor Jones nodded feverishly. 

“Yes, yes, of course,” he said eagerly. “Let’s take a look. Can you turn off the lights?”

Dean clicked off the lights and the screen came alive at once. Anna made a happy sighing sound at the first images of the baby on the screen. It was officially a baby shaped blob now. Dean could make out the large head, arms and legs, and curve of its spine, comfortably sleeping while its hand moved lazily near its face.

Cas and Dean stared at the baby while Doctor Jones made his measurements and pronounced everything to be perfectly normal, though he did indicate the baby would likely have large feet.

“A sturdy foundation!” he declared. “Now boys, you need to turn away for this part so I can see if you’re having a boy or a girl. You may not know what you’re looking for, but judging by the size of those feet, if you’re having a boy, it’s not going to be hard to tell.”

Dean and Cas laughed, and kept their eyes closed until the doctor told them they could look. He handed Cas a folded sheet of paper, and patted the boys on their backs.

“Now,” he said. “How about one last look before I turn it off?”

“Doctor?” a nurse came in the room, looking hurried. “There’s been an emergency at the hospital with Nora. The baby’s heart rate is too high. We need you right away.”

“Of course. Sorry, fellas. And Anna, I will need to reschedule you and Jo for tomorrow.”

Anna nodded her agreement, and Doctor Jones quickly finished up and left. Dean and Cas walked Anna back to the waiting room so she could explain the change of plans to Jo, then bid them both farewell with hugs and a promise to call later that night.

The two had discussed where to have dinner at to find out the gender, but there was only ever one real option for them. They pulled into Halmeoni’s a bit later, and excitedly sat at their normal booth. Annie was off, much to their disappointment, but they ordered their typical meal and impatiently waited for it to come.

Finally, Dean could stand the waiting no longer.

“Just open it, man. I need to know,” he said, and Cas reached into his pocket. “But don’t show me the paper.”

“Why?” Cas asked, his hand frozen in the act of unfolding it.

“I want you to tell me, not show me,” Dean said, and Cas grinned widely.

Cas unfolded the paper with trembling hands. Dean watched his face for any evidence of what he was reading, watched his blue eyes scan over the words. A happy smile spread across Cas’ face, crinkling his eyes with delight. He put the paper down, and reached across the table to take Dean’s hand.

“Dean Winchester,” he said, eyes bright. “You’re going to have a daughter.”

Dean tightened his hand on the table.

“A-a girl? We’re having a girl?” he asked, and Cas nodded happily. “We’re going to have a daughter. Holy shit. We’re having a girl.”

The waiter chose this minute to bring their food out, and Dean thanked him happily.

“We’re going to have a girl!” he said, and the waiter beamed at him.

“Congratulations!” he said. “Um, how?”

Dean just laughed, and he and Cas ate their meal filled with happiness and excitement. Dean called his mom and let her, Sam, and Jess know about their impending granddaughter and niece, and spent a good twenty minutes fielding congratulations and speculation before calling Jo and Anna, who screeched their excitement over the phone, causing Dean to hold it away from his ear. He called Bobby, who responded more gruffly than normal, which Dean understood meant he was happy. He and Cas were nearly home before he hung up the phone, yet by the time they locked the door of their house behind them, the giddiness hadn’t worn off.

They both relaxed around the house, read books, and flipped through the channels of the television. Cas scanned his email quickly, but he wasn’t paying attention. He would catch Dean’s eyes over his laptop occasionally and grin.

They prepared for bed early that night, changing into fleece pajamas and crawling between the sheets. Silence filled the dark room, and Dean could hear the ticking of his grandmother’s antique clock on the wall. 

“Dean,” Cas whispered. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me either.”

Cas rolled onto his side, and Dean did the same, eyes meeting in the dim light of the room. Then, soft and gentle, Cas leaned forward to capture Dean’s lips in a kiss. Dean tilted his head and swirled his tongue around Cas’, pulling him in closer with one hand tangled in his dark hair. Dean trailed on hand down Cas’ warm body, his fingers dipping and mapping the lines of his torso until he reached the band of his pajama bottoms.

Dean took Cas’ bottom lip into his mouth and sucked gently before sliding his hand lower to grasp at Cas’ erection through his clothes.

Cas gasped and arched his body into the touch, craving closeness. Dean grinned against his mouth and moved his hand to give a slow roll of his hips. Then he gently pushed Cas back onto the bed and moved on top of him, rolling his hips repeatedly in a slow rhythm.

“Dean,” Cas sighed from between them. “Please.”

Dean pushed Cas’ shirt up to show his bare chest, and he kissed down it slowly, his tongue dancing across the soft skin, lapping gently at Cas’ nipples, and achingly slowly working down his body. Dean hooked his fingers in the elastic of Cas’ pajamas and pulled until they slid down his strong legs. He tossed them to the side of the bed before moving back to Cas’ body. Dean kissed Cas’ thighs, nipped at his hipbones, and licked at the base of Cas’ dick, causing him to buck up.

“ _Please_ ,” Cas repeated, gazing down at Dean with adoration.

Dean stared into his bright blue eyes, and licked a warm trail up Cas’ hard cock.

“Dean,” he whispered. “Move.”

Cas sat up, much to Dean’s bewilderment, and pushed Dean onto his side before laying down the opposite direction, pulling his pajama bottoms off, and lay eye level with Dean’s erection.

“Cas, what-”

“I want to make you feel good too,” Cas said, and he leaned into Dean’s space, taking his cock into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the head.

Dean adjusted his legs to get comfortable in this sideways sixty nine position, bucking into the warm, wet heat of Cas’ mouth. He moaned when Cas pulled off and licked away the pre-come swelling at the tip of his dick, and nearly arched in half when Cas thrust his head forward and shoved Dean’s cock to the back of his throat.

“Cas,” he moaned.

He leaned forward and wrapped his lips around Cas’ dick, licking and sucking his way down until his lips were touching the base. He swallowed, and Cas moaned around his own dick, sending pleasant vibrations coursing through Dean’s body.

The position was like a pleasure loop; Cas would suck a certain way, and the pleasure would cause Dean to moan around Cas’ dick, causing Cas to suck him even deeper.

They began to thrust shallowly into each other’s throats, moaning as best as they could with their mouths full of each other, and hands grasping and clawing at the other’s skin until both were marked with pink lines up their sides.

Cas thrust more quickly, and Dean understood. Even without words, Dean would always understand Cas. He relaxed his throat and allowed Cas to thrust into him, and worked his tongue around as best as he could, humming with pleasure when Cas groaned, Dean’s cock deep in his throat.

Dean moved with Cas, sucking him down with each thrust, licking and tasting, until Cas fell back off of Dean’s cock with a gasp. Cas moved his hand to Dean’s cock to jerk him quickly, thrusting his hips forward and back with a quick, steady rhythm. 

“Dean,” he breathed, eyes wide as he watched his cock disappear into Dean’s mouth repeatedly. “I’m going to come.”

Dean winked at him, then moaned chokingly around Cas’ dick. Cas sped up his hand on Dean’s cock, smearing the wet pre-come down his shaft with his thumb. Dean thrust his hips forward at the sensation, and sucked Cas down deep into throat.

Cas came with a shout of Dean’s name, his hand working furiously over Dean’s cock as he spilled inside Dean’s mouth, warm and slick. 

“Dean, _Dean_ ,” Cas moaned, his face contorted into pure bliss.

Dean thrust his hips wildly at the sight of Cas, still shooting the very last of his come into his throat with Dean’s name reverently on his lips. He felt pleasure building at the sight of Cas still stroking Dean’s cock, the sound of his name, the taste of Cas in his mouth.

He slid off of Cas’ dick with a muffled shout, a warning too late, and came hard on Cas’ chest and face, moaning his name and clinging to his hip like a lifeline. He rocked into the sensation until the waves of pleasure slowed, and he immediately sat up, swallowing the come still in his own mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he said at once, but Cas stared up at him, eyes ablaze, and grinned.

“Don’t be. I enjoyed that far more than I expected I would,” he said. “Besides…”

He reached up and wiped the pad of his thumb across Dean’s chin, pulling it away to show his own come still dripping from his face.

“I don’t think you swallowed it all.”

Dean laughed, but Cas brought the thumb to his own mouth and sucked on it, swirling his tongue around it and tasting himself.

“Jesus,” Dean breathed, but Cas laughed.

“Let’s take a shower,” he said. “I’m not licking us both clean.”

“I wouldn’t complain.”

Cas swung his heavy legs out of the bed and pulled Dean after him toward the bathroom.

“No, I remember hearing a story of a girl who ended up in the hospital from that,” Cas said, and Dean laughed, turning on the shower and using a spare towel to wipe the drying come off of both of their faces.

“Dude, that’s an urban legend. And the chick sucked off, like, thirty guys anyway, not just one.”

“Not taking any chances,” Cas said airily, and he ducked into the warm shower, Dean close behind.

They washed off, trading slippery kisses and laughs under the water, jokes about urban legends and things that happened to friends of friends, which must prove the legend to be true.

They toweled off and quickly climbed back into the bed, cuddled together closely and staring, eye to eye.

“You stare at me often,” Cas mused, and Dean quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m the one who stares? What about you?” Dean grinned.

“I don’t stare, I _observe_ ,” Cas said indignantly.

“Yeah, well, observe this,” Dean replied, and he kissed him on the nose.

“I’m afraid that made me go cross-eyed,” Cas answered, and Dean laughed, holding him close.

They lay like that in the bed for a long time, wrapped around each other and quiet, kissing occasionally, until Dean was warm and sleepy, eyes drooping.

“Hey Cas,” he said dozily, and Cas hummed his acknowledgement. “We’re going to have a daughter.”

“We are,” Cas replied in a voice just as content. “And she’s going to be perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading through this fic compared to Waking Up, and there is SO MUCH smut in this one compared to the last one. I hope you all don't mind. I know I love to write it!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter seems a bit out of place, and Millie came out of nowhere, but let me explain. First of all, I (obviously, as a bisexual woman) have no issues with the spectrum of human sexuality, so the crap spouted by Millie in no way reflects my views. Millie was meant to be a caricature of how some people view homo/bisexuality, so she's exaggerated. 
> 
> I wanted this chapter to be included because I wanted the readers to see who Cas is becoming. He's no longer the shy, meek person he was in part one of this series. He's growing as an individual, just like Dean has. But while Dean's transformation has been vivid, Cas' has been more hidden, and I wanted it out there.
> 
> No spoilers, but be prepared for some major pain in the next chapter. Trust me, though. You know I like happy endings.
> 
> Trigger warnings in this chapter for homophobia and homophobic slurs.

“Dean! Phone!” Cas called out into the house early one Thursday evening.

“Who is it?” Dean asked, coming into the room.

“Your brother.”

Dean picked up the phone questioningly.

“Dude, you live next door. What’s wrong?” Dean asked Sam.

“It’s Mom,” Sam said, and Dean’s stomach iced. “She’s crying.”

“Why?” Dean asked, and he hopped on one foot to throw his shoes on, the cordless phone pressed tightly to his ear by his shoulder.

“I don’t know. Can you-?”

“Opening the door now,” Dean said, and he was.

Cas, for his part, had thrown his own shoes on as well and chunked the phone back into the house to land on the couch when Dean hung up. He and Dean reached the house next door quickly, and they walked in to find the living room empty except for Jess, who sat quietly watching television.

“They’re in the kitchen,” she answered the unasked question, and Dean immediately went to find his brother and mom, Cas close behind.

“Mom,” Dean said, and Mary turned to hide her eyes.

“Hello, honey,” she said, sniffling. “Would you and Cas like something to eat?”

“No, what’s-”

The ringing of the phone cut Dean’s question off, and Sam instinctively reached for it.

“No! Let me,” Mary said at once, and she grabbed the phone and headed for her room.

Sam cast Dean a bewildered look, but Dean took off for his old room, pulling Cas behind him. He crept in slowly, pressing a finger to his lips to keep Cas quiet as well, and picked up the line in his old bedroom.

“-No reason to hang up on me!” a furious elderly woman’s voice rang shrilly.

“You can’t just show up after all these years!” Mary’s angry voice shouted back.

“I’m on my way. I know that Henry said it was best to leave you be, but I _will_ see my grandsons. I need to be sure you haven’t ruined them!” Millie said, and Mary went quiet on the line.

“My boys are my life. I may not parent like you did to John, but they turned out wonderfully.”

“There are many evils in this world, Mary,” Millie said, much more calmly. “Have you kept your boys from all of them? Drugs, alcohol, cursing, homosexuality-”

“They’re perfect the way they are,” Mary said fiercely.

“I’ll just have to see for myself. I always told John he should have denied your soulmate bond. Better to live with shame, I told him, than destroy children!”

“Why now?” Mary said suddenly, ignoring the insults that had Dean clenching his fists in his lap. “You’ve had no interest in us since we were married. You didn’t even come to John’s funeral.”

“Because I’m dying!” Millie shouted, spitting the last word out vehemently. “And when I cross over into Heaven, nothing, nothing, would make it easier than to look at John and Henry, and tell them I was right.”

Silence stretched across the line, and Dean momentarily wondered if Mary had finally hung up on his grandmother.

“Will it help you?” Mary finally asked, her tone reminiscent of the one she took on around her dying patients. “Will you feel at peace if you see how wonderful the boys are?”

Millie didn’t answer her question.

“I shall be at your home in twenty minutes.”

The line clicked and went dead, and Dean silently hung up the line, clammy and trembling with anger.

“Dean?” Cas asked, and he reached out tentatively to touch him.

Dean jerked away and stood to go downstairs, but Cas reached around him and locked the door.

“Don’t think that you can ignore me,” Cas said, and when Dean met his gaze, he found a steely resolve. “Who was that?”

“My grandmother,” Dean said, and he let the stiffness drop out of his shoulders, choosing instead to rub tiredly at his eyes. “She’s coming to visit.”

“You’ve never mentioned a grandmother,” Cas said, walking Dean back toward the bed and sitting next to him softly. “Does she visit often?”

Dean laughed coldly.

“Never,” he said. “Grandma hates Mom. She’s called her awful things over the years, never came to see me and Sam.”

“Why?” Cas asked, placing his hand on Dean’s knee.

“Shit, Cas, it’s so fucking stupid. Mom had too much to drink the night before her 18th birthday, and she fell asleep in a tank top and underwear. When she woke up at Dad’s place the next morning, Grandma automatically thought she was a slut, and never let her forget it.”

“Surely she’d understand if Mary told her-”

“Not a chance. Mom tried, but Grandma is really religious and conservative, and she wouldn’t listen.”

Cas nodded sadly.

“Why is she coming now?”

“Looks like the old bitch is dying,” Dean said, unable to ignore the twist of guilt in his gut for calling his grandmother such a name, even if she did deserve it. “She wants to be able to tell Dad and Grandpa that she was right about Mom, and that she screwed Sam and me up.”

“How long until she gets here?” Cas asked, and Dean sighed.

“Fifteen minutes…shit.”

Dean jumped up and marched to his door, unlocking it and flinging it open.

“Sam!” he bellowed. “Come here!”

Sam’s telltale heavy footsteps could soon be heard plodding up the stairs.

“What?” he asked, and Dean grinned.

“Grandma Millie is on her way.”

“Fu-”

“Language, baby bro,” Dean interrupted, and Sam arched an eyebrow at him. “Shut up. Look, we’ve got to make Mom look like the best parent to ever raise a kid. And that means dressing the part.”

Dean shoved open his closet. Inside were all the clothes he rarely wore, including button up shirts and slacks, a mix of ties in varying states of hideousness, and a pair of loafers.

“Dean,” Cas said quietly while Dean and Sam sorted through the clothes in an attempt to find something suitable. “This is highly unnecessary. Your grandmother should be proud of her grandsons, not the package they come in.”

“Yeah, well, years of experience tells me she’s not going to be,” Dean said, and he triumphantly pulled a slightly moth-eaten green sweater from the back of the closet. “Yes! This beats buttons any day! Suck it, Sammy!”

“Language, Dean,” Sam’s muffled voice threw back at him, and Dean laughed in spite of himself.

Sam emerged from Dean’s closet, complaining about how he was too big to wear any of his clothes, and set off for his own room, muttering darkly about Millie.

Dean threw on the sweater and scrambled out of his jeans and into some slacks, Cas watching apprehensively.

“Should I change too?” he finally asked, and Dean chuckled.

“Dude, you always dress like a teacher,” Dean said, and he pulled Cas into his warm arms, fuzzy with the green spun yarn. “I love it.”

Cas pecked him gently on the lips.

“Let’s go wait with your mother,” Cas said, and he led the way down the stairs, hand clasped tightly around Dean’s. 

Mary sat quietly on the couch, tense and dignified, and Cas noticed she was wearing exactly the same thing she’d been in when he’d arrived.

 _Good_ , he thought. _She has nothing to be ashamed of._

Sam’s gargantuan feet echoed on the stairs as he made his way to the living room as well. He emerged from the stairwell, and Jess let out a loud hoot of laughter.

“Nice sweater vest, Bill Cosby,” she choked out, and Sam frowned at her.

“I’m just trying to look…conservative,” he said thoughtfully, and Mary narrowed her eyes at him.

Jess gestured to her belly.

“I look like I’m smuggling a watermelon,” she said dryly. “I think the ‘sin’ is pretty obvious here.”

A knock rang out against the front door, and everyone froze, standing in place (and in Jess’ case, lounged out across the old sofa). Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s hand, and Dean squeezed back, while Mary made her way to the door and opened it slowly.

Framed in the door, and looking like some bizarre combination of Neville Longbottom’s grandmother and a pug, stood Millie. She frowned at Mary.

“Well?” she asked in a clipped tone. “Are you going to invite me in?”

Mary forced a smile and stepped back, sweeping her arm in and allowing Millie to move her thin body through the old wooden door frame.

“Sam,” Millie said, coming over to him and appraising him slightly. “You turned out handsome, if a bit shaggy. You should cut that hair or someone will mistake you for a homeless man. How is school?”

Sam stared down at his withered grandma for a moment before regaining the ability to speak.

“Oh! It’s-It’s wonderful, thank you.”

“Going to do anything with your life? A smart kid like you, I bet you could do anything,” Millie said, lifting her eyes to catch him in a cool stare.

“I was thinking law school,” Sam said, and Millie nodded approvingly. 

She patted his arm coldly and glanced over at the couch where Jess lay, arm thrown over the side and the other resting on her large stomach. Millie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, and she shot a look over to Mary, who had taken her seat back on the chair.

“Is this one yours?” she spat. “Should’ve known! She doesn’t look a thing like John, I bet she belongs to that other boy-”

“Thrilled to meet you as well, Millie,” Jess said, and she heaved herself up off the couch. “Mary isn’t my mom, but she might as well be. My own kicked me out.”

“Certainly,” Millie sniffed, but Jess just smiled, and stepped toward her.

“Sorry to miss out on the fun. Not that I don’t like to have a good time,” she said, winking lewdly at Millie. “But the baby loves to kick my bladder, and man, do I need to piss!”

She sidestepped Millie, mouth hanging open at the vulgarity of it all, and made her way from the room. Dean smothered a laugh, and Millie’s eyes landed on him. In the space of a second, her cataract covered eyes moved down to where Dean and Cas’ hands were entwined. Dean let go immediately.

“I’m happy to see you, Grandma,” Dean said, his voice stiff and uncomfortable, unlike anything Cas had ever heard from him.

“Dean,” Millie said. “Tell me, is the baby yours?”

Cas very nearly laughed, and managed to pass it off as cough.

“No, no,” Dean said. “Of course not.”

“And who is this?” Millie asked, waving her hand at Cas.

“Oh, this is Cas, my-my friend,” Dean said, and Cas blinked rapidly before recovering.

“Right. Well, dear, this is really only for family, and apparently teenage girls that Sam gets pregnant. Would you be so kind as to leave?” Millie asked, and Cas barely glanced at Dean before nodding.

“Of course,” Cas said, and he walked to the front door, barely glancing back at Dean as he did so.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean called out when Cas gripped the doorknob. “I’ll-I’ll call you later, okay?”

Cas gave a subdued tilt of his head and walked to their house, opening the door and letting himself in, before sinking down on the couch with his shoes still on. He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t taken the feeling personally. After all, Dean was just trying to make his mother look good.

Memories crashed over Cas. Mary accepting him into her home graciously from the day he and Dean had met, calling and visiting with his mother even though society forbade it, bandaging his scrapes and cuts over the years. One last shining memory sprang to mind: the day his mother had died, and how Mary had taken him in with open arms like he was her own son.

Cas stood immediately and strode out the front door, barely registering it slamming behind him. He took large, purposeful and blindingly angry steps until he was back on Mary’s front porch, and he could hear yelling from inside. His hand froze on the doorknob for a moment.

“You failed them!” Millie’s voice said gleefully on the other side. “Look at you, raising one teenage parent, his whore girlfriend, and a worthless, idiot of a mechanic!”

Cas threw open the door and walked in to a scene of heartbreak. Mary was patiently sitting on the couch Jess had vacated, Sam standing next to her and staring at the floor in shame. Worst of all was Dean, shoulders hunched and face defeated, as though he deserved to be called the horrible things his own grandmother was spitting at him.

Millie whirled around and glared at Cas, who stared right back.

“What are you doing back, boy? I thought I told you this was a family matter.”

“You horrid old woman,” Cas said, advancing into the room and coming far enough into Millie’s personal space to cause her to back up; the Winchesters all looked at him in interest. “These wonderful people don’t deserve the things you’re telling them.”

Cas crossed the room to Mary and put his hand gently on her shoulder. She raised her own to brush her fingers across it, attempting to calm him, but only fueling Cas’ need to speak.

“Mary is the type of mother you could never be,” Cas said. “She’s caring and never judgmental, and helps every person heal any way they can, even if they don’t deserve the compassion. And Sam?”

Cas reached his hand up and patted Sam on the shoulder.

“He’s wise beyond his years, incredibly intelligent, and is going to make the second best father I’ve ever seen.”

Millie scoffed.

“I suppose your father would be number one?”

“Oh, of course not. My father left me as a child, only to return to try and murder me. He’s in prison. May he rot there,” Cas said pleasantly. “No, that honor goes to Dean.”

Cas crossed over the room to come to Dean’s side, and though he didn’t touch him, not wanting to pressure him, Dean lit up like a firecracker at having him close by.

“Dean is the most awe inspiring person I’ve ever met in my life. He’s full of love of all kinds, and is as far from worthless or idiotic as a man can get. He’s going to be a wonderful father.”

“Have you and Sam both gotten girls pregnant?” Millie asked in disbelief.

“In a way,” Dean said, finally feeling brave enough with Cas next to him to speak; he reached down and clasped his hand around Cas’. “But this baby gets to have two dads. Lucky her.”

“You’re queer. Are you telling me Cas is your boyfriend?” Millie asked, her voice dropping into a scandalized whisper at the final word.

“No, grandma,” Dean said, and he grabbed Cas by the face and kissed him hard. “I’m telling you he’s my husband.”

Millie’s eyes bulged.

“Filth! Abominations, all of you! You’ll burn in hell for what you’ve done, you and your worthless children-”

“Millie,” Mary said, and she stood, radiating a fierce protectiveness from the depths of her eyes though her voice remained calm. “It’s time for you to leave.”

“Because some queer who turned your son gay says I’m wrong? Look at him! Father in prison, dead mother. A throw away person, and you respect his opinion above mine!”

“Cas is the best thing to ever happen to me,” Dean said angrily. “And he’s not garbage to throw away. He’s a college student with a talent for writing. Yeah, he’s weird, but it’s the most perfect kind of weird, just like everything else about him.”

Dean took a step forward, lifting his head proudly to look Millie in the eye.

“And I love him.”

Millie looked as though she would like to argue, but something about the ferocity of Mary’s presence at her children and grandchildren being threatened caused all fight to drain from the old woman’s body. 

“Fine,” she said, and she spun to leave. “I have seen what I needed to. Goodbye.”

She left, and slammed the door behind her.

“Good riddance,” Jess muttered, reentering the room at last. “What a crazy old hag.”

“She just wanted closure,” Mary supplied quietly. “And I hope she got it. If yelling is what it took, then I’m happy we let her do it.”

“I’m so glad you’re not crazy, Mary. Just too nice sometimes,” Jess said, and she collapsed back onto her spot on the couch.

The tension in the room faded instantly with all of them together again, and Dean leaned in to kiss Cas again.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said, and Dean pulled him close.

“What the hell for?” Dean asked, bewildered.

“I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the best of me. I should have let you handle it.”

“I think the way you handled it was awesome,” Dean said. “It gets me all tingly when you take control like that. I can picture you in leather with a whip.”

Cas laughed loudly and pushed at Dean playfully.

“Do you really want to make that joke in a room with your mother?” Cas asked, glancing over to where Mary sat talking with Sam and Jess.

“Who says I’m joking?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“That’s why you love me,” Dean winked, and Cas grinned, then kissed Dean gently on his cheek, speaking softly into his ear.

“Yes, I do.”


	15. Chapter 15

“We need to go shopping,” Cas said lazily from his favorite spot on the couch.

Dean glanced over at him, to find him sitting with his legs tucked up underneath his body, book of Emily Dickenson poetry open in his lap, and hair an untamed disaster. Dean’s heart gave a pleasant lurch at the sight.

“You sure? You’re giving me other ideas here,” Dean said with a wink, and Cas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, fine then. What do we need? Groceries?”

“Baby things,” Cas said, and Dean pursed his lips.

Cas rose at once, placing his book delicately to the side, and crossed to Dean to sit next to him. He rested his hand carefully on Dean’s knee, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Everything will be alright. Anna is over halfway through the pregnancy. The danger zone is past, and we need to prepare for our little girl.”

Dean lit up at hearing Cas talk about their daughter, and nodded slowly.

“I’m being stupid, huh?” he asked in a light tone, but Cas shook his head.

“Cautious to a fault, yes, but not stupid. Never, ever stupid.”

“Get your shoes on.”

*

“It’s a good thing we’ve been saving money,” Cas said a half hour later, overwhelmed in the baby section.

“Damn straight. Even better that everyone gave us cards. These little shits are expensive,” Dean said, causing a young mother to scowl in his direction.

In lieu of a baby shower, family and friends had been dropping by with gift cards and money for the new addition, just as they had with Jess and Sam. Dean and Cas had managed to set aside a decent chunk of money, and upon looking at the prices for what they needed before and after the baby arrived, they were quite happy to have it.

They had picked out the decorations for the nursery fairly easily; Dean had insisted on a particularly colorful mobile made of plush cars. When a button was pushed, the mobile circled slowly while playing a lullaby version of “I Can’t Drive 55”. Cas had argued for a different touch, but hadn’t wanted anything extremely feminine either. He and Dean finally decided on a honeybee theme, to be shown in border wallpaper, the bedding, and the dresser, which was a bright white piece of furniture showing a happily drawn bee on each of its four drawers.

“Dude,” Dean said, staring down a row of cribs, all alike in shape but different in color. “What the hell difference does it make what color a crib is?”

“The wood,” Cas asked, looking at him bewildered. “Every type of wood has a different meaning. That’s why I prefer the birch crib.”

“Okay,” Dean said, deciding to sail past the concept of trees having meaning. “You going to tell me why?”

“Birch is the tree for new beginnings. There’s no more of a fresh start than a fresh life.”

Cas reached out to touch the birch crib reverently, and Dean grinned. He marked it down on their ever-growing list of items too large for a cart, and moved on, tangling his fingers with Cas’.

They picked out bottles, packs of diapers, and far too many clothes for one child, in Dean’s opinion, though he was just as enthusiastic about that part as Cas was. Cas pretended he didn’t notice how much Dean got into picking out tiny outfits for their little girl, but he grinned widely when Dean chunked a pair of soft boots and overalls into the cart.

Two hours later, and exhausted to the core, the boys piled into the Impala with far too many boxes and pieces of furniture to be assembled at home, and made their way back to their house. Cas immediately set to putting up the peel and stick border, while Dean cursed his way through building the bigger pieces.

By six that evening, the crib and dresser were complete along with the changing table, the playpen nearly so, and the room was neatly decorated and organized.

“Now we just need her,” Cas said, and he lay his head tiredly onto Dean’s shoulder. “And if you make me cook tonight after all of that, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

Dean smiled happily.

“Want to go grab a pizza?” he asked, and Cas nodded.

“Yes. Any place where I don’t have to wear real pants.”

“Amen to that,” Dean said, and he and Cas left, still wearing their comfortable sweatpants, and Cas carried along his purple sweater. 

They pulled into the pizza place a few minutes from their house, and were surprised to see Jo’s car there. She came out of the swinging door moments later, grinning widely.

“Hey, fellas!” she said. “Your baby must be thinking like you. Anna said she had to have pizza, but she’s puking so much she couldn’t come get it herself. How are you?”

“Awesome, how about you?” Dean answered, indicating her huge stomach.

“Better than normal, actually. I haven’t had to throw up in a few days. It’s weird, like I’ve almost forgotten the color of my own insides.”

“Lovely,” Cas said while Dean laughed loudly, but he put out a hand when Jo suddenly furrowed her brow. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just…felt a pop or something. I think it’s…ow, _fuck!_ ” Jo said, and she doubled over, the pizza hitting the ground.

Dean and Cas were at her side instantly.

“Was it your water?” Dean asked, but Jo shook her head.

“No, I’m only 22 weeks, you know that,” she wheezed. “But shit, something-something is wrong.”

“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital,” Dean said, and he walked her back toward his car.

“Dean,” Cas said sharply. “We need to hurry.”

Dean followed Cas’ gaze down the back of Jo’s jeans, noticing the rapidly moving red stain emanating there.

“Shit, Jo, we need to go. Don’t panic, but there’s a lot of blood.”

Jo wavered on her feet and nearly collapsed into the passenger’s seat. In one swift movement, Dean tossed Cas the keys to let him drive, and climbed in next to her, hand on her wrist to keep track of her pulse.

Cas sped off quickly toward the hospital, and Dean talked rapidly to Jo to keep her conscious. He kept a monitor of her heart rate, eyes darting toward Cas a few minutes into their trip. He mouthed _hurry_ to him, and Cas was frightened to see the fear in his eyes.

They pulled into the emergency parking lot within minutes, and Dean didn’t even wait for a nurse; he simply wrapped Jo up in his arms and carried her wedding-style through the automatic doors, running to the first doctor he saw.

“She’s bleeding out,” he said anxiously. “There was a pop, and she started bleeding. Her heart rate is dropping fast.”

“Here,” the doctor said, and she took Jo at once, rushing her into the nearest room and yelling instructions as she did so.

“Cas,” Dean said. “I’m going to wait for news. Can you call Anna?”

“Of course,” Cas said, and he walked back through the doors, pulling his cell out of his pocket as he did.

Dean watched helplessly as nurses and doctors scurried to and from the room, bags of blood or IVs going in, red-soaked gauze and dirtied workers coming out.

He sank down, right onto the floor in the waiting room, the chairs too far away to allow him to keep a constant eye on the room. Soon, he felt Cas sit down next to him.

“Anna is on her way. She’ll be here any minute.”

Dean couldn’t manage to speak, so he only nodded, vaguely noticing his blood covered hands and shirt.

“You should go get washed up before she arrives. It may scare her. Here,” Cas said, and he pulled off his sweater to hand to Dean. “Put this on overtop.”

He stood and helped Dean to his feet, pushing him gently toward the bathrooms. Dean turned back to look at him, and Cas answered his unasked question.

“I won’t leave this spot. If they come to tell us anything, I’ll be here.”

Dean nodded again, and disappeared into the bathroom. He washed his hands numbly, and caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked like hammered shit, pale and scared. Dean quickly dried his hands and threw on Cas’ sweater. He belatedly realized it was the one he thought made Cas look like Barney, and chuckled a bit. The sensation felt odd. How could he be laughing when one of his best friends could be dying in the next room? And his friend’s baby?

He shook his head. No, Jo would be fine. And her baby boy…he’d be fine too.

_“We decided on a name!” Jo shrieked over the phone._

_“It’s three a.m. This couldn’t wait?” Dean asked, stretched out next to Cas in their bed._

_“Hell no, it couldn’t wait, Winchester!” Jo said happily. “We’re naming him William. After Dad.”_

_“I get to call him Billy, right?” Dean said, his gruff voice softening over the phone._

_“You can call him anything you want, as long as you and Cas agree to be his godparents.”_

_“Are you serious?” Dean asked, heart hammering in his chest._

_“Well, yeah. Do you think I’d call you in the middle of sexy times with Cas just to give you a name?”_

_“Okay, first of all, even newlyweds are asleep at three in the morning, and second, we’d love to be his godparents.”_

_“We’re his_ what?! _” Cas said excitedly from his side of the bed, and Dean shushed him._

_“Go back to sleep, I’ll tell you in the morning,” Dean said._

_“But Dean,” Cas said, frowning. “We weren’t sleeping. You had your hand-”_

_“Dammit, Cas!” Dean said, scrambling to cover the receiver of the phone, while Jo laughed loudly in his ear._

_“I know you better than you think. I’m going to go. Go back to ‘sleep’, Dean,” she laughed, and the call ended with a click._

Dean splashed some water on his face and went back into the waiting room. He saw Cas, standing in exactly the same spot, his arm around a frantic Anna.

“Dean,” she said when she saw him, and she moved from Cas’ grasp to bury her head in his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Dean said, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “Jo’s tough, she’s going to be fine.”

“What about William?” Anna asked, her voice muffled, and Dean couldn’t think of an answer for that; instead, he held her tighter and placed a kiss in her red hair.

“Which one of you do I need to speak with over the patient you brought in?” a voice said, and Dean noticed the female doctor he’d handed Jo to when they’d first arrived.

“Me,” Anna said, straightening up.

The doctor took one look at Anna’s large stomach, and maneuvered her to a chair to sit. Sensing that this couldn’t be good news, Dean sat on one side of her and clasped Anna’s hand tight, while Cas did the same on the other side.

“The patient-”

“Jo,” Anna supplied immediately, fire in her eyes.

“Jo,” the doctor corrected at once. “She lost quite a bit of blood. We managed to stop the bleeding, and though I would like her to stay a few days, I expect she’ll make a full recovery.”

Anna visibly relaxed a bit, though she still clung to the boys tightly.

“This was all brought on by complications with the pregnancy. I’m sorry, but she miscarried the baby.”

The doctor spoke in soft, kind tones, and Anna nodded throughout her explanation. Dean was struck cold. He vaguely grasped the description of how the placenta must have come away from the wall, how William hadn’t been able to survive without it.

“Would you like to see her?” the doctor asked, and Anna nodded, getting to her feet.

“We’ll meet you back here,” Dean heard Cas say, and suddenly, Anna was gone.

Dean needed to get away. He couldn’t bear to be around for the sorrow and sadness, intruding upon the grief of others. He made to stand, but felt Cas’ hand wrap solidly around his wrist.

“Dean,” he said, and the voice instantly grounded him. “Talk to me.”

Dean pushed out a pained, humorless laugh.

“I can’t.”

“Then come get coffee with me,” Cas said, and he pulled Dean upward. “Please. I need you right now too.”

Dean followed Cas silently to the dining hall. The food line was closing down, dinner hours over, but Cas moved past it to a boxy coffee machine and began to make two cups. Silently, he poured the perfect amount of sugar in each, along with creamer, and handed Dean a cup before taking a seat in the now abandoned and darkened room.

Cas sat quietly in the cold plastic chair, the cup of coffee raised to his mouth to allow the steam to drift lazily over his face. He clutched at the cup like a lifeline, hands trembling slightly. 

“Dean,” he said finally. “William is-was different from our daughter. Just because it happened to Jo doesn’t mean it will happen to Anna.”

“I know,” Dean said quietly, and he sat his own coffee down to curl his fingers lightly around Cas’ elbow. “And I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Cas asked, turning his blue eyes on Dean with confusion.

“This was hard for me. But I should have pushed that aside and taken care of you as soon as I saw you were hurting.”

Cas sighed and sat down his coffee before scooting his chair next to Dean. He lifted Dean’s head with a gentle push under his chin and met his eyes with a deep stare.

“We don’t have to save each other every time we feel emotions,” he said, gaze switching between Dean’s eyes. “It’s part of being married. We can both feel pain without having to hide it to help the other. We take on these things together, equally.”

Dean nodded, and slowly wrapped his arms around Cas, who moved into Dean’s lap to hold him close as well. Cas dropped his head to Dean’s neck, and Dean buried his face into Cas’ shoulder.

“It hurts,” Dean said, one lone sob escaping his chest.

“Very much,” Cas said, squeezing his eyes shut to blink the tears away.

They cried together, entwined around one another, until both of their shirts were wet from tears and their limbs felt heavy from the pain of it all. Eventually, their tears subsided, and they wiped their eyes and stood to walk hand-in-hand back to where their best friends needed them more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In memory of Joshua.
> 
> Sorry for the angst, my lovelies. I love writing about the boys' lives, but when I decided I wanted to write their life story, I also decided it needed to be realistic. In other words, they needed to experience those life-shattering moments that unfortunately occur in real life. But then again, how would they know what it feels like to be exceptionally happy if they had never been exceptionally sad?


	16. Chapter 16

The weeks and months following William’s death were difficult for everyone. Jo recovered and was sent home from the hospital, and she and Anna held a small, private service for William. They blatantly refused all offers of help, much to Dean’s confusion. Slowly, they seemed to return to normal, changing from being cooped up in the house except for Anna’s increasing visits to the prenatal doctor, to coming over occasionally to watch movies with the boys on the weekends. 

One Saturday afternoon in May, all four were sprawled out in various stages of tv coma as they worked their way through the second season of Orange is the New Black.

“I would smack a bitch,” Jo piped up from the floor during a fight scene, where she rested her feet casually on the sofa and observed the show upside down.

A lesbian scene started, and Jo winked up at Anna.

“I like this show better now. It gives me ideas,” she said, and Anna groaned.

“I’m the size of a beached whale,” Anna sighed. 

“But you’re my beached whale, Shamu,” Jo replied, and Anna kicked her.

“Don’t make me throw you in a cold shower, Jo,” Dean warned, and he glanced over at Cas, who was busy on his phone. “Who are you texting?”

“Your brother,” Cas said at once. “It felt like we were missing people.”

“Awesome,” Dean grumbled, though he was pleased Cas thought to include Sam. “A house party.”

“Don’t be a grumpy old man,” Cas elbowed him, and Dean shoved him back, leading to a full blown wrestling match on the couch.

“Hey!” Jo shouted from the floor. “I’m trying to watch hot lesbians here!”

Sam and Jess showed up soon after, and Sam jumped into the fray on the couch, wrestling both his brother and Cas, while Anna looked on wistfully.

“You wishing you could jump in too?” Jess asked her, while the boys continued to jump on each other, Dean yelling about how Sam’s gargantuan size was an unfair advantage.

“Hell yeah, I am. And I got to pee again,” Anna said, and Jess reached out her hand to heave the other girl up. “Thanks. Hey, you okay?”

Anna stared at Jess questioningly, as the other girl had just gone alarmingly still. She looked down at the front of her maternity pants.

“Shit…my water just broke,” she said, barely above a whisper.

Silence filled the room as suddenly as a bomb had gone off. Then all chaos broke loose between Sam, Dean, and Cas.

“We’ve got to go!”

“Where’s her bag, I’ll grab it-”

“Call Mary, tell her to meet us-”

“Guys,” Jess tried.

“I should bring some towels just in case.”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

Jo let out a piercing whistle, bringing the noise to an abrupt halt.

“So here’s what we’re doing,” Jo said, as calmly as Dean had ever heard her. “Dean and Cas, you drive these two to the hospital. Anna and I will grab her bags from the house, and anything else you can think of when you’re driving over there. Calmly.”

Cas was the first to move. He grabbed a ruddy blanket from the sofa and hooked his arm through Jess’, guiding her toward the door and slipping on shoes as he did so. Dean and Sam, looking dazed, were close behind. Sam tossed his house keys to Jo, and Dean distractedly yelled at them to lock his own front door when they left.

“Just be careful!” Anna yelled after him. “And don’t panic!”

*

Dean pulled into the parking lot with his car full of people a few minutes later. Sam ran in to get Jess a wheelchair, but she just rolled her eyes and heaved herself out of the car, Cas helping her along the way.

“I can walk,” she said, disgruntled. “My vagina and legs can work separately, you know.”

“Yes, but I think Sam may need the wheelchair if he doesn’t calm down,” Cas said softly to her while Dean locked the doors to his car. “Or Dean.”

Jess laughed, the sight of Sam running back toward her with a wheelchair, long hair blowing haphazardly around his face too funny to ignore. 

She climbed in, and Sam quickly wheeled her to the front desk, where they signed her in and had her in a room quickly. Only one contraction, a mild one, hit Jess, and she clenched the side of the bed tightly for a few seconds before allowing it to pass. The nurses hooked her up to monitors to check contractions, blood pressure machines, IVs, and enough tubing to circle her normally small body several times.

“I’m pushing out a baby, not a science experiment,” she said to the next nurse who came in.

“It certainly looks that way,” she said, and she pulled a latex glove on her hand, which Jess eyed warily.

“Just need to check your cervix,” the portly nurse explained, and Dean and Cas immediately averted their eyes to other parts of the room.

The nurse took her exceptionally small hand and placed it under Jess’ gown, who grimaced as she was checked.

“Not too much longer. I’d say you’re about 4 centimeters dilated. Only six more to go!” she said cheerfully, and she backed out of the room, writing on a clipboard.

Jess groaned.

“She has the shortest fingers I’ve ever seen. She literally just reached in and pulled my cervix toward her. Fingered by a nurse with stubby fingers. Ugh.”

“Yeah, thanks for that visual,” Dean said. “Do you want us to leave you alone?”

“Not yet,” she assured Dean. “But when it comes time to shove your nephew into the world, I’d rather you not see my torn-open-”

“Got it,” Dean said, rushing to say something, anything, to avoid hearing any more of that sentence. “Trust me, we’ll be out of here. It shouldn’t be much longer anyway, right?”

*

Two hours later, Jess had progressed nearly enough to push. The nurse, who Jess had less-than-affectionately dubbed “Nurse Stubs”, had happily announced that it would soon be time, just as Mary had come through the door.

“Look at you!” Mary exclaimed, running her hands through Jess’ hair. “You look beautiful. When I was going into labor with Sam, I looked like a bloated starfish.”

Mary hugged the boys, and told Dean and Cas that Anna and Jo were in the waiting room, ready for any news as it came. Dean was assuring her he’d let them know something when Nurse Stubs came back into the room, a young Spanish doctor in tow.

“Let’s get that boy out of there!” the doctor said happily, and Dean grimaced.

“That’s my cue. Come on, Cas,” he said, and Mary made to leave as well.

“No,” Jess said, fearful for the first time. “Please stay.”

Mary nodded and took her place beside Jess, and Dean closed the door behind him and Cas.

*

Dean paced the waiting room anxiously, until Cas physically grabbed his hand on one pass, interrupting his small talk with Anna and Jo.

“Dean,” Cas said quietly. “Sit down.”

Dean gave into the pressure in his hand, and carefully sat himself next to Cas, though he didn’t stop nervously shaking his leg. Minutes later, Nurse Stubs opened the door to the waiting room, letting a beaming Sam inside. Dean was on his feet in an instant, Cas at his side.

“He’s perfect,” Sam said, and Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. "Eight pounds, eleven ounces, 23 inches long.”

“Damn, he’s going to be huge,” Dean brought his brother in for a hug, hastily wiping his eyes.

“Jess is cleaned up. Do you all want to meet him?” Sam asked, and Dean and Cas nodded.

“We’ll let you all go first,” Jo said with a smile. “Come and get us when you’re ready.”

Dean and Cas followed Sam back to the recovery room, and cautiously came inside. Mary sat in a spare chair and observed the interactions quietly, and Jess, looking exhausted, cradled a small bundle of white and gray blankets in her arms. She handed the bundle to Sam who kissed it gently, before turning toward Dean and Cas. Dean backed away immediately.

“No, man, what if I drop him?” he asked anxiously, and Jess rolled her eyes; Dean had plenty of experience with children, but for some reason, this felt different.

“Then I kill you in your sleep,” she said pleasantly. “Seriously, you’ve got one on the way too. Better learn how to hold a kid.”

“What’s his name?” Cas asked, and Jess beamed.

“Anderson,” she replied. 

“Anderson Winchester?” Dean grimaced. “Dude, you just condemned the kid to a life of never being able to find his name on keychains.”

“Yes. Because that is what I look for in a name. Can I find it in a cheap seaside souvenir shop?” Sam shot back playfully.

“Just give me my nephew.”

Sam gently deposited the baby in Dean’s arms and backed away, allowing Cas to move in and see the pink, bundled up child. He squinted his eyes and curled his nose, but didn’t cry. Dean reached his finger down and the child instinctively held onto it, though he still looked like he would bawl at any moment. It was different from holding Isaac, or even Sam as a child. It made Dean feel nervous and awkward.

“Hey, Andy,” Dean said, his deep voice soft. “We’re going to have so much fun when you’re older. I’m going to teach you how to braid your dad’s hair when he’s asleep, and get you a puppy you can sneak in the back door when your mom isn’t looking. And I’m getting you a drum set for your first birthday.”

Jess laughed, and Andy’s bottom lip quivered, showing an impending sob.

“Oh, no,” Dean said, eyes growing large. “He’s going to cry.”

“Hand him over,” Cas said impatiently, and Dean did, looking relieved.

Cas bounced Andy slightly, and his protruding lip sank back into place. Cas grinned down at the baby, who blinked sleepily.

“Hello, Anderson,” Cas spoke to him as though he were already grown, and Dean couldn’t help but smile broadly. “I’m your Uncle Cas.”

Andy seemed to take that as an acceptable comment, and he drifted off to sleep in Cas’ arms. Dean watched Cas hand the sleeping baby slowly back to Jess, and noticed as she gave an enormous yawn of her own. Mary was at her side in an instant, volunteering to watch the baby while she took a nap.

“We should leave you alone. I think Anna and Jo wanted to see Andy too,” Dean said. “Look, get some sleep. We’ll come back and see you tomorrow.”

Jess muttered an exhausted thanks, and Sam gave them both large hugs before sending them back out and promising to go get Jo and Anna on his own.

Dean and Cas climbed back into their car and began the short journey home. Dean glanced over at Cas, only to see the other man smiling at him peacefully, eyes full of an emotion Dean never tired of seeing. He reached across the bench seat to take Cas’ hand in his own.

“I love you,” he said, and Cas squeezed his hand. 

“I love you too,” he replied, pure honesty in every word.

“You looked like a natural holding Andy,” Dean said after a moment. “I’m going to have to work on my baby skills. I looked like a dumbass.”

“Dean,” Cas said seriously, and he brought Dean’s hand to his mouth to lay a row of gentle kisses on his knuckles. “You looked like everything I have ever dreamed of. I can only imagine how it will be when you’re holding our daughter.”

Dean couldn’t think of any reply to that. Instead, he just nodded, and Cas understood. Cas always understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stubs is a real nurse who took care of me when I was in labor, and I've never seen such short fingers. It made checking my dilation a pain in the ass, but she was sweet. As always, thank you for reading my fic!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some light dom/sub tones to it.

“I need a favor,” Sam’s voice was the first thing Dean heard on an early August morning.

“It’s barely eight. What the hell, man?” Dean asked, but Sam plunged on.

“Can you keep Andy today?”

“Sam-”

“Dean, please,” Sam said insistently. “The hospital called and Mom has to work tonight, so she’s sleeping, and Jess and I have to go on the Future Leaders of America meeting to Lincoln overnight. I know you’ve not kept him before, but-”

“Sammy,” Dean interrupted. “I was going to tell you yes, if you’d shut up long enough. Bring him over here.”

Dean roused Cas when Sam hung up, nudging him with his foot. Cas slept like the dead, so he had barely dragged himself upright when Sam and Jess arrived, packed and ready to go on their overnight trip, and Jess kissed Andy gently. She looked terrified.

“Call Mary if you have any problems,” she instructed, but Dean rolled his eyes and bounced his nephew lightly in his arms.

“He’s three months old. What’s he going to do, break into the liquor cabinet and throw an orgy?” Dean questioned.

“Can you even throw an orgy? Or does that just kind of happen?” Sam asked, and Jess sighed.

“Not helping, sweetie,” she said, but she grinned and hugged Dean and Cas tightly before they left.

Dean closed the door behind them, and Andy blinked up at him.

“So, wild man. What are we going to do with you for two days?”

Andy just gurgled out a happy sound.

After breakfast (where Andy had made a spectacular mess of mashed bananas and somehow managed to squirt his bottle into Dean’s eye), a quick diaper change, a long nap, and an equally messy lunch, Dean and Cas sat out for the park with their nephew in tow.

Cas and Dean went down the slides with Andy in their laps, let him swing, and Dean even clambered up the giant spaceship so that he could hold Andy and pretend to fly it, causing the child to laugh in delight at the sounds he made. They finally set down on a shaded bench to take a break and give Andy a bottle, when a familiar voice sounded out.

“Dean! Cas!”

“Julia! How have you been, kiddo?” Dean asked, and Julia wrapped him in a hug.

“Good, I guess. Isaac learned to walk and stuff!” she said proudly, and sure enough, Pamela walked over to them, Isaac toddling along as well.

“Hey, boys,” she said. “Is he yours?” 

“Nah, it’s Sammy’s kid. We’re keeping him overnight,” Dean answered, and Cas transferred the baby to his shoulder so he could burp him.

“Haven’t seen you at karate class in a while,” Pam commented, and Cas nodded.

“It’s been a very busy few months,” he admitted. “And I doubt we’ll have time once our daughter is born.”

“We stopped going too, ‘cause guess what? We’re moving!” Julia piped up, grinning.

“You are?” Dean asked, looking sideways at Pamela. “When?”

“Next month,” Julia said wisely. “I’m gonna go to a new school and make lots of friends, and maybe get a boyfriend, but maybe not ‘cause boys are gross.”

“We’re moving back near my parents,” Pamela replied. “They need me, and I think it would be good for the kids to be near their grandparents.”

“But I’m going to miss you,” Julia admitted, and she sat on the ground, between Dean and Cas’ feet, and wrapped one arm around each set of their legs. “I like you.”

“Even though we’re boys, and boys are gross?” Dean teased, and Julia scowled.

“You aren’t _boys_. You’re Dean and Cas. Boys are my age, silly. Mommy says grown-ups like you are called men, and that you two are really good men, and if you weren’t together or ten years younger than her, she’d take you to a rodeo.”

“A rodeo?” Cas asked, and a look of dawning horror crossed Pam’s face.

“Yeah, she said something about riding a cow-”

“Julia!” her mom said, and Dean burst out laughing while Cas blushed beet red. “Go get your toys, sweetheart. We need to go soon.”

She ran off, and Dean calmed his laughter.

“You’d take us to the rodeo, huh?” he asked, and Pam just winked.

“I believe the phrase I used was ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’ when I was talking to mom. Ah, children,” she sighed. “They hear everything they shouldn’t.”

Julia came running back with a weathered dump truck that she had apparently been using to bury her Barbie doll alive with.

“Thank you, boys,” Pam said, hugging Cas and Dean in turn. “You’ve been like my family here. I’ll stay in touch.”

“You better,” Dean said. “I want to hear all about Julia’s future boyfriend.”

Pam picked up Isaac, and immediately held him out.

“Oof, son,” she said. “You need a diaper change. Julia, I’m going to the car right over there. You say goodbye and come straight to me, got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” she answered immediately, and Pam walked off with another quick goodbye.

“You better come back and see us when you can drive,” Dean said, and Julia rolled her eyes.

“That’s a long time away! More than a _year!_ ” she exclaimed, and Dean laughed.

“A little,” Cas agreed. “Thank you for teaching me karate. You’re a wonderful instructor.”

“You’re welcome,” Julia said, but then her smile dropped slightly and she leaned in to pull both Dean and Cas into a tight group hug, Andy struggling a bit between them, and she squeezed.

“It’s okay,” Dean told her. “We’ll still call you.”

“I know,” she sniffed a bit. “But I never really had a daddy, and you’re like having two. And I love you both like one.”

Dean felt chest constrict, and he and Cas both kissed Julia on the head at the same time.

“Love you too, Jules,” Dean said, and Julia pulled away, wiping her eyes.

“I’m kinda scared,” Julia admitted.

“Well, it’s a scary thing,” Cas said, and Dean shot him a look. “But do you remember those Oz books we’d read when you stayed with us?”

“Y-yes,” Julia sniffled again.

“And remember what the Wizard said? ‘The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty’. Dorothy did it, and you can too.”

Julia straightened up a bit and narrowed her eyes in concentration. 

“Yeah, I think I can,” she said finally. “But Mama is making her ‘hurry up’ face. I better go ‘fore she gets mad. Promise we can talk on the phone?”

“Couldn’t stop us,” Dean grinned at her.

“Okay,” she said, relieved, and she gave them both quick hugs before scampering off toward Pamela.

Dean and Cas sat in silence for a moment, and Cas glanced down at Andy to find he’d fallen asleep.

“Are you ready to take him home?” Dean asked, checking his watch. “It’s getting late. We can stop and grab a burger for dinner.”

They loaded up in the car and stopped by a McDonald’s on the way home. They sat in the busy line, Andy asleep behind them, and Cas took Dean by the hand.

“She’s going to be fine,” he assured him and Dean grinned.

“I know,” he agreed. “She’s going to be awesome.”

*

Dean consented to a Disney marathon that evening for Cas, even though the other man claimed it to be for Andy. By eight, they had watched Beauty and the Beast, Jungle Book, and most of the Lion King, and Cas took Andy to get him ready for bed.

Twenty minutes later, Dean wondered where he was, and walked up the steps to find Cas humming, laying a sleeping Andy into the crib they had set up for their daughter. He patted the boy’s stomach and backed away, nearly running into Dean as he did so.

“Sorry,” Dean whispered. “I just wondered where you were.”

“He wouldn’t fall asleep unless I sang to him,” Cas replied softly. “And I had to find a song he liked.”

“Yeah? Which one worked?”

“All About That Bass,” Cas said with a grimace.

“Dude,” Dean said, shaking his head and pulling Cas into the hall. “I’m going to _kill_ Sam.”

Dean led Cas downstairs, insisting that they had to finish the “stupid movie” since they had started it. Cas only nodded seriously, as though he didn’t know about Dean’s internal love of anything Disney. Cas cuddled in close to Dean, resting his head on his shoulder, and they sat in companionable silence for a moment. 

“C-Cas?” Dean said finally, and Cas hummed contentedly. “Can you move over?”

“Why?” Cas asked, tilting his head up to meet Dean’s flushed face.

“The breathing on my neck, man. I’m trying to ignore it, but…”

Cas followed Dean’s gaze to a very prominent erection tenting the front of his pants.

“Oh,” Cas said, heart hammering, and he made no attempt to move. “Does this bother you?”

With that, he breathed lightly where Dean’s shoulder and neck met, and caused him to shiver slightly.

“It doesn’t really _bother_ me,” Dean exhaled slowly.

“Hmm. Does this?” Cas asked, and he peppered kisses up Dean’s neck, stopping below his ear and then giving a tentative lick to Dean’s earlobe.

Dean just let out a stifled sound, and nodded. Cas grinned against Dean’s neck, then bared his teeth and scraped down slightly, ending with a bite to the flesh of his neck that was just shy of painful. Dean bucked his hips up involuntarily, and Cas gave an animalistic growl, climbing on top of him and grinding down.

“J-Jesus, Cas,” Dean said. 

He tried to bring his hands to Cas’ hips, but Cas grabbed him by the wrists and pinned them down against the couch, causing Dean to gasp out a strangled version of his name.

“You like this?” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear, moving his hips forward and back on Dean’s erection in a slow roll. “You like me holding you down?”

“Yeah,” Dean swallowed and leaned back to meet Cas’ gaze. “Hell yeah I do.”

“I could tie you down in our bed. Do whatever I wanted…”

Dean thought that sounded like an awesome idea, and rolled his hips upward.

“Take you apart, piece by piece,” Cas said, grinding his hips faster, never breaking eye contact. “And put you back together again.”

“Cas, please,” Dean begged, and Cas laughed, a carefree and happy sound that made Dean’s heart lift.

“Let’s start by getting you out of these clothes,” Cas said, and he reached between them to unbuckle Dean’s belt and yank it quickly off. “But don’t move your hands.”

Cas popped open the button on Dean’s jeans and pressed the heel of his palm against the bulge there, causing Dean to thrust into the touch, his hands still where Cas had instructed them to stay. Cas opened the zipper and pulled Dean’s hardened cock free of his boxers. He wrapped his long fingers around him, and began to stroke, making Dean moan loudly. Cas leaned in and rested his forehead against Dean’s, drinking in his reactions.

“I want to see how you look tied to our bed,” Cas said as he moved his hand quickly. “Hands and feet tied down while I ride you, harder and faster until you come.”

Dean couldn’t look away from Cas’ bright blue eyes, and he couldn’t help the moan that escaped when Cas licked his lips and twisted his hand over his dick.

“Maybe mix a little pain in with pleasure?” Cas leaned in to whisper in his ear.

Cas bent down and bit Dean’s collarbone with a tiny bit of force. The sensation was enough to send Dean spiraling over the edge. His body seized up and he jerked his hips, thrusting into Cas’ fist, and spilling over his fingers.

“Shit,” he grunted out, slowing to a stop.

Cas grinned down at him.

“Enjoy yourself?” he asked, and Dean laughed.

“Not as much as you will,” he said, and he grabbed Cas by the hips to flip the other boy over onto the couch. “You’re mine, all night.”

Cas arched up when Dean rubbed his roughened hands over the other man’s erection through his clothes.

A wail sounded from upstairs, causing Dean to jump.

“You’ll have to get him,” Cas said, grimacing down at his come-covered hands.

Dean regretfully stood up and tucked himself back into his clothes before heading toward the staircase. He made his way to the nursery, and found Andy crying and red-faced in the crib.

“Aw, what’s wrong, buddy?” Dean asked, and he picked up the sniffling child.

He checked his diaper, tried to burp him, and had even made his way back down to the kitchen with Andy in his arms to offer him a bottle (which he refused) before Cas appeared.

“I think he just misses his parents,” Cas said, offering to hold the baby, and Dean handed him over.

It seemed like that was the case. Andy cried until he fell asleep, and any attempts to put him into the crib were met with him waking up and wailing. An hour later, Dean and Cas conceded defeat and lay down with Andy in between them in Naomi’s old bed, the only one in the house big enough for all three to comfortably fit.

Andy settled between them, looking cautiously at them as though he were afraid one would move, and finally fell asleep.

Dean looked over to Cas, meaning to ask if he wanted to move to their own room and continue what they’d been doing earlier, but Cas’ eyes were shut and he was breathing steadily, one hand wrapped around Andy’s tiny hand.

Dean sighed and leaned down to his sleeping nephew.

“You’re a worse cock-block than your dad,” he said quietly.

He heard Cas give a quiet laugh.

“Dean, don’t call our nephew a cock-block,” he whispered. “You’ll get your chance tomorrow night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part of the series is coming to an end within the next few chapters, but don't worry, I promised a 4 part series, and that's what you're going to get!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a little bit of gross body stuff in it, since we're finally getting to meet Cas and Dean's daughter, and childbirth is a fairly icky process.

Dean cussed the modern hybrid piece of crap sitting in the garage a minimum of fifteen times before lunch.

“Damned plastic pieces of shit,” he grumbled. “Why the hell don’t people drive classics anymore?”

“Have you seen the price of gas?” Garth called out from underneath a Taurus. “I don’t know why you don’t just sell-”

“One more word and I castrate you with a tire gauge.”

Garth rolled back from under the car and stared up at Dean with big eyes.

“I don’t think that’s even poss-”

“Dean!” Bobby barked out, his head poked around the office door. “Phone call!”

“Take a message!” Dean shouted back. “I’ve just about got this damn thing figured out.”

“It’s Cas!” Bobby called, and Dean frowned, wondering why he hadn’t just texted.

He put the wrench down and made his way into the grimy, grease covered office to pick up the phone, while Bobby went back to slowly typing information into their ancient computer, complaining about technology under his breath the entire time.

“Hello?” Dean answered.

“Dean,” Cas said, a calm tone in his voice that somehow caused Dean alarm anyway. “Anna is on her way to the hospital. She went into labor.”

Dean’s heart gave a happy, terrified thump.

“She’s having her? Now?” Dean nearly dropped the phone.

“No, you have plenty of time. The doctor said it could be several hours.”

Dean looked at the clock. 4:30. The shop closed at five on Thursdays.

“So, I should finish my shift and then, what, come pick you up?” he asked, and he nervously tapped his foot, struggling to maintain calm and composed; his voice cracked regardless.

“Dean,” Bobby interrupted, and Dean glanced over at him. 

Bobby said something quietly that Dean didn’t quite hear.

“Just a sec, Cas. What did you say, Bobby?” Dean asked.

“I said get on outta here,” Bobby repeated.

“No, it’s okay. I’ve got time-”

“Boy, does it _look_ like I’m askin’? You’re about to twitch out of your skull. You get out of here now, and I better not see you back until at least Monday, got that?” Bobby glared at him sternly.

Dean grinned at the older man, and resisted the urge to hug him, knowing how much he hated it.

“Cas? I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Dean said, and he hung up the phone. “Thanks, Bobby.”

“Yeah,” Bobby gruffed out. “You just get to the hospital and give me my niece.”

“Granddaughter!” Dean called out happily over his shoulder, making a hasty exit to his car.

It was like a smile was permanently etched on his face. He drove with the windows down, music blaring, and when he pulled in to their driveway, he saw Cas standing anxiously on the front porch, bag in hand.

“I called your mother-,” Cas began, but Dean was out of the car and wrapping him in a tight hug before he could finish the sentence.

“Are you ready?” Dean asked, stepping away.

“No,” Cas said. “But I’m excited.”

“Let’s get a move on!” Dean said happily, and headed back for the car. “You said you called Mom. Is she going to meet us there? And Sam and Jess?”

“Yes and yes,” Cas grinned while he and Dean climbed into the car and Dean fired it up, spinning his wheels slightly in his anxiousness to get to the hospital.

Cas let his bag fall lightly to the floorboard, where it resounded with a sturdy clunk.

“The hell did you pack, dude?” Dean asked, glancing at it. “It’s not like we’re the ones doing the work here.”

“A little of everything,” Cas admitted. “Clothing for her, and for us in case we’re here for a few days-”

“Why would we be?” Dean asked, snapping his gaze back to Cas nervously. “Everything is normal.”

“It is, but you can never tell. Don’t panic,” Cas replied.

“Who’s panicking?” Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas chuckled.

Dean pulled into the parking lot shortly after, and he and Cas made their way to Anna’s room, happy to see her propped up in bed with Friends reruns playing on the television.

“Hey!” she said excitedly, and Dean was at her side in an instant.

“How do you feel? Everything going okay? Are you hurting?” he asked, while Jo hugged Cas behind him.

“I’m getting ready to push a softball out of a golf ball sized hole. I’ve felt better,” she winked at him. “But it’s not bad yet. The doctor says I still have a long way to go.”

“That baby will be here before you know it,” a kind voice said from the doorway, and the group in the room turned to see Mary beaming at them, Sam and Jess standing right behind her with a wide-eyed Andy in his car seat. 

Dean and Cas hugged everyone in turn, and they had just settled in to what had the promise to be an entertaining day when a contraction struck Anna. She curled her toes at the feeling, and the monitor whirred beside her to document it. Cas immediately grabbed hold of one of her hands and she squeezed him tightly, holding her breath throughout the ordeal.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked her worriedly.

“No big deal,” Anna shrugged with a muted grimace. “I can do this. It won’t be too much longer anyway, right?”

As it turned out, Anna was exceptionally slow to give birth. Night fell, and Dean and Cas took to pacing the hall outside her room while Anna (and Jo) napped on and off in between contractions, which only seemed to slowly be getting closer together. By the time it was nearly midnight, Jess had reluctantly headed home with Andy, who was past sleepy and into major meltdown levels of tired. 

A harried looking nurse had grown weary of Dean and Cas pacing, and had directed them to the waiting room with Mary and Sam, which Dean had only agreed to stay in once the nurse swore she would come find him immediately if Anna went into the pushing phase of labor.

Mary and Sam slept, keeled over and curled upon themselves in the hospital chairs, but Dean was far too nervous to sleep. He glanced over at Cas to see the other man had pulled out a book from his duffel and was distracting himself by reading.

“What book are you reading?” Dean whispered, sinking into the chair beside Cas’ and happy for something to take his mind off of the impending birth.

“To Kill a Mockingbird,” Cas breathed back, and he flipped the page to continue reading.

Dean hummed his acknowledgement and lay his head on Cas’ shoulder to calm himself, eyes scanning the pages as Cas read in the poorly lit room. Earlier, Sam had had a fit of claustrophobia and threw open the blinds to reveal the street below and let in some natural light. Now, however, the darkened and deserted street was lit only by a line of streetlights, old fashioned ones with tall metal bodies and rounded glass domes on top, which shone yellow and made the pathways outside appear dingy.

Inside, Sam snored with vigor, chest rising and falling with his breaths, while Mary slept on as peacefully as she did anything else. Dean tried to distract himself further by honing in on the sounds of the hospital: muted voices echoing down long halls, occasional wails of babies or small children visiting other patients, or doctors being paged. 

More than once, Dean heard footsteps approach the door to the waiting room, and he’d hold his breath, sure that Anna was in active labor. Yet the footsteps would fade as the person continued to walk by. The third time this happened, Dean sat up.

“Who wrote that book again?” he whispered, and Cas grinned, marking his place in the book and closing it softly.

“Harper Lee,” he replied in a quiet voice. “But you knew that. Everything will be fine, Dean.”

“I’m sorry, man. I’m a nervous wreck here,” Dean smoothed a hand over his face. “And that book…you know, that’s what I read to you when Raph nearly killed you last summer.”

“Which is why I brought it,” Cas told him, looking at Dean’s surprised expression and taking Dean’s hand in his own. “I wasn’t awake for it, but you reading the book could have been what brought me back. Hearing your voice, knowing you were waiting for me, if I would just open my eyes. Once I did, you told me you loved me. Why would I want to read anything else on a night like tonight?”

Dean exhaled a shaky breath, the tension draining from his body. He was caught up in giving Cas a meaningful kiss so deeply that he didn’t even hear the door to the waiting room creak open.

“Mr. and Mr. Winchester? It’s time.”

*

Dean and Cas had stood and quickly alerted Mary and Sam that they would return with news shortly, before nearly running to Anna’s room.

Anna was much more uncomfortable now, the epidural drip ended due to a drop in the baby’s heart rate. She cursed loudly every time a contraction hit, and squeezed the bed rails.

“Get the doctor in here!” she exclaimed to Nurse Stubs, who pursed her lips.

“She’s on her way,” the nurse responded politely.

“Bullshit, Jo said she saw her putting on makeup in the bathroom,” Anna said, her face contorting as another wave hit. “If you don’t get her in here in five minutes, this baby is coming without her. It’s not like I can just keep my legs closed and force her back in.”

Dean laughed, and Anna turned a much kinder eye his way.

“You’re lucky I love you and Cas,” she said, winking even though she was curling her toes in pain. “Because screw what I said about a softball. This is like shoving a watermelon out of my va-”

“Time to have a baby!” the doctor sauntered in, exuding charm and excitement, and Anna cut off her sentence, looking fearful for the first time.

Cas and Dean moved to one side, while Jo anxiously stood at the other and clasped Anna’s hand tightly in her own. She was uncharacteristically quiet. The doctor moved into position at the foot of the bed and removed the blanket from Anna’s lap.

“You look down there, I skin you alive,” Anna chuckled weakly and grinned up at Cas and Dean.

“You couldn’t pay me to watch this happen,” Dean said honestly. “I saw a cow give birth one time. That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Thank you, I needed to be compared to a farm animal today. Experience complete,” Anna laughed, then clenched her eyes tightly as another wave passed.

“I need you to lift your legs. You need to have your wife and friends here press them into your chest. Now, when you push, press your chin down into your sternum. Are you ready?”

Anna nodded tiredly, and the doctor helped Jo and the boys pull her legs up into position. The doctor watched the contraction monitor closely, until another was beginning to peak.

“Here we go,” she said. “And push!”

Anna dropped her head and pushed with all her might. Once the contraction had passed, she flopped her head back, a look of determination setting over her face, and Dean knew immediately that this wouldn’t take long. He was right; a mere two contractions later, Anna had pushed the baby’s head free.

“One more, and we should have her!” the doctor said happily.

Another wave began to crest on the machine, and Anna dropped her head back down, brow furrowed in a frown, and pushed as hard as she could. With a sound Dean would vehemently try to forget for the rest of his life, the doctor pulled the baby girl free, and she began to wail at once.

It was the most beautiful sound Dean had ever heard.

The doctor handed the baby off to a nurse to clean up, while Anna finished the birthing process.

“Go,” Anna wheezed out, glancing between Dean and Cas. “I’m fine, go see your daughter!”

The two crept slowly toward the small, clear crate where the nurse was swabbing the baby and cleaning her up. She checked everything about her quickly, and Dean stared with wonder at the tiny balled up fists and shock of dark hair, wet and matted to the child’s head. He elbowed Cas.

“She has your hair,” he said with wonder, his voice cracking with his happiness, and Cas gave a watery laugh. “You’re her father.”

“We’re both her father,” Cas nodded, eyes never leaving the squirming and crying child.

“Okay, daddies!” the nurse said cheerfully. “You ready to hold your little girl?”

Dean stepped forward at once when Cas pressed a gentle hand into the small of his back.

“Go on,” he said. “You first.”

Dean slowly took the swaddled, sniffling child into his arms and held her close, turning so Cas could see her as well. She calmed down immediately, and opened her eyes to look at them curiously.

“Holy shit,” Dean said, and Cas laughed. “Green eyes. How is that even possible?”

“It isn’t,” Cas grinned at him. “Apparently, the mother carried the gene for either black hair or green eyes, and whichever one of us is the biological parent carried the other. We’ll never know, and that’s perfect.”

“Quit hogging your kid!” Jo’s voice called out, and Dean and Cas walked back toward the bed.

Dean passed the baby off to Cas, still in shock with the entire situation, and Anna smiled proudly at the two of them.

“Nothing to it, like I said,” she nodded wisely, looking absolutely exhausted.

Cas kissed his daughter gently on her forehead.

“You deserve to hold her too,” he said, and he leaned down to carefully place the baby in Anna’s arms. 

Anna grinned down at the little bundle, who was quietly observing her new world.

“Hey there, rugrat,” she giggled. “Nice to see you instead of feeling your foot in my bladder. Thanks for that two a.m. bed wetting experience, by the way.”

“Yeah, you should be thanking me for cleaning it up when you couldn’t reach the towels in the bottom cabinet,” Jo winked. “Hand her over, I want to see who kicked me in the back whenever we were spooning.”

"Too much information, thanks," Dean grimaced.

Jo picked up the child, and gave her a mock-serious look over.

“Hmm. You look a little thin. We’ll fix that the first time you come over,” she said, and she tenderly pushed the drying hair back away from the girl’s face. “Candy apples, Red Bull, the works. Then I’m sending you home to your daddies.”

Jo handed her back to Dean, who watched the child get comfortable and start to doze, eyelids drooping to cover her bright green eyes.

“Anna,” Cas said, reaching for her hand. “We can’t thank you enough. We wouldn’t have her without you and Jo. And with everything you’ve been through-”

“No sappy crap,” Jo jumped in. “Besides, the Roman Clinic has already agreed to take me on for next season. I’m not forgetting William, but I am moving on, and so is Anna.”

“You’re welcome though, Cas. And you would have done the same for us,” Anna squeezed his hand. “I don’t have any doubt. She’s beautiful, congratulations.”

“A woman with a beautiful soul carried her,” Cas smiled. “I think that has quite a bit to do with it.”

“What name should I write on the birth certificate?” the nurse interrupted, and Dean looked at Cas.

“Cas?” he said quietly. “How about Harper?”

“Harper Winchester,” Cas sounded out, a smile spreading to light up his face. “It’s perfect.”

“So is she,” Dean used his free hand to adjust Harper’s blanket, before pulling Cas to him and giving him a sweet kiss.

Cas leaned down and kissed Harper on the forehead, and Dean’s breath hitched in his throat. He couldn’t have imagined a life like this when Cas had first awoken on his soulmate day, and now he wondered how he could ever have lived without it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to get this chapter out, mainly because I was struggling with what to name the baby. Then it hit me, and I couldn't believe I didn't think of it sooner. I hope you liked it! Also, this part of the story will be ending soon. But don't worry! I promised you a four-part series, and that's what you'll get. We still have a few chapters of happy Winchester family to go though!


	19. Chapter 19

“Okay, everyone buckled up?” Dean asked anxiously, peering into the backseat of the Impala where Cas and Harper sat.

Cas lifted one eyebrow.

“For the third time, yes, Dean,” he said, and he tucked Harper’s blanket around her tiny wiggling feet. “You can go at any time.”

“Yeah, got it,” Dean replied.

He cautiously pushed the gas pedal, and set out for home, eyes scanning the road constantly. At one point, Harper coughed slightly in the back seat and Dean nearly jumped out of his skin. As soon as he reached a stop light, his eyes shot to the rearview mirror and he watched Cas check on their daughter in her car seat.

Cas gazed at her with such love in his eyes that Dean could barely breathe. Harper, at barely two days old, was already more loved than she could possibly understand. 

That morning, the hospital had approved both Harper and Anna to leave, which had caused a great deal of excitement in the tiny hospital room occupied by Anna and Harper, and by extension Dean, Cas, and Jo. There had been a flurry of action, and by late afternoon, everyone had been on their way. Jo and Anna both kissed Harper, and Anna cuddled her close, telling her she was going to love living with her daddies. The girls planned on taking a much needed trip out of town, and when Anna handed Harper back to Cas, it was with a saddened but excited expression, and Dean knew she would be fine.

A sudden honk brought Dean back to the present, and he moved forward past the green light at a snail’s pace. The honking continued, and Dean rolled his window down, motioning for the car to pass.

“Go around!” he yelled, and Cas hid his face in embarrassment.

They thankfully made it home soon, and Dean grabbed their things while Cas picked up Harper.

“You’re home, Little One,” Cas said to the squirming child in his arms. 

Harper looked around the room with interest, and though Dean knew she was far too small to see detail, his heart fluttered in his chest at exactly how much she looked like Cas in that moment, calmly observing her surroundings. Deeming them suitable, she immediately dropped off to sleep. Cas took her upstairs to lay in her crib, and Dean set about to making dinner. He opened the refrigerator, and was surprised to see a covered glass dish with a note sitting on top.

_Thought you may be hungry. Trust me, you’re not going to be awake enough to cook for days. Welcome to parenthood!_

_Mom_

_P.S. Check the freezer. There are enough casseroles for a week._

Dean grinned widely. If he was half the parent his mother was, then Harper was going to turn out just fine.

*

The hospital had given strict instructions to not bathe Harper until her bellybutton stub fell off, so before bed, Dean wiped her down gently with a soft rag soaked in warm water and baby oil scented like lavender. Harper squirmed at the first touch of wetness to her skin, but Cas had had the foresight to put on some music, and she quickly lay still on the couch and listened intently. By the time Dean was done and putting her back into a diaper and warm onesie to sleep in, her eyes were drooping heavily.

“I can put her down for sleep,” Cas volunteered. “Get yourself something to eat. You hardly ate at dinner.”

It was true; Dean had been so preoccupied with feeding Harper a bottle that he hardly felt his own hunger. Cas scooped up the sleepy child and carried her upstairs, bouncing along the way. Dean padded to the kitchen and practically inhaled a bologna and cheese sandwich, and chugged a half a cola can, then turned off the lights and locked up before heading upstairs himself.

He heard a rhythmic creaking sound from Harper’s room, and paused outside her door when he realized it was accompanied by a quiet singing. He peeked inside the nursery, lit only with a dim lamp shaped like a honeybee to fit in with the rest of the decorations. The room was silent except for the wooden joints aching in the rocking chair Cas sat in, Harper cradled in his arms as he rocked and sang.

_“Your little hand’s wrapped around my finger,_  
 _and it’s so quiet in the world tonight._  
 _Your little eyelids flutter ‘cause you’re dreaming so I_  
 _tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light.”_

Dean moved to stand silhouetted in the doorway, the light from the hall casting a long shadow into the darkened nursery, but Cas didn’t look up. All of his attention was on their sleeping daughter.

_“Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,_  
 _don't you ever grow up, just stay this little._  
 _Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_  
 _don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple._  
 _I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart…”_

Dean walked into the room and Cas grinned up at him before standing. He carefully, slowly, bent over and put Harper into her crib, the raised back up to stare down at her. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ waist and pulled him until they were hip to hip, his head resting on Dean’s shoulder, and the pair watched their daughter sleep in a blissful silence.

*

Slowly, the little family fell into a routine. Cas or Dean took turns waking up with the baby at night, and Dean fed Harper before leaving for work in the mornings, allowing Cas a few more moments to sleep. Cas did his classwork during the day while Harper napped, and had dinner ready when Dean walked happily in the door in the evenings.

One morning before Dean had to rush off to work, when Harper was nearly a month old, they sat back on the couch together as a family and Dean took Harper in his arms, rubbing her belly in tiny circles to alleviate the frequent gas bubbles she had. His hand brushed across her chest, and he froze, moving back across it in a tiny circle.

“Cas,” he said, worriedly. “Cas, feel this.”

Cas furrowed his brow and felt his fingers over the spot on Harper’s chest. The little girl fussed and frowned, and Cas’ eyes widened.

“What is that?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know. It’s like a lump or something. She has it on the other side too. We need to take her to the doctor. Let me call Bobby, tell him I’ll be a bit late.”

They rushed to the pediatrician’s office, and Cas signed them in while Dean sat in a cold plastic chair and bounced Harper nervously in his arms. Cas came back to sit with them and wordlessly held his arms out to take their daughter, holding her close. She sighed a contented sound, and laid her head onto his shoulder, eyes falling shut. Cas held her there with one hand, and the other found Dean’s. He gave it a small squeeze, and Dean held on tightly.

A young father sat across from them, his own child sleeping quietly in a car seat in front of him. He looked down at Dean and Cas’ entwined hand and sneered in disgust. In any other situation, Dean would have risen from the chair and made quite a scene. But right now, with his daughter possibly sick and Cas’ warm hand in his own, he found he didn’t really care what this stranger thought of him. Instead of fighting, he simply caught the stranger’s eye and gave a wink. The other man flushed red and averted his eyes, and Dean very nearly laughed.

“Harper Winchester?” a plump man in Spongebob nursing scrubs called their daughter’s name, and Dean and Cas rose at once.

The nurse led them to a room and took Harper’s vitals, much to the child’s irritation. Harper used her tiny hands to push at the stethoscope and kicked out when the nurse tried to take her temperature. The child grumbled in a tone Dean could only assume was a baby form of cursing.

Once he was done, the nurse tickled Harper and left the room. Cas picked up Harper at once, and she relaxed into his touch, snuffling slightly against his neck. A quiet knock came at the door, and in strode their pediatrician.

Dr. Ochoa was a rotund Spanish man with a larger than life personality and it showed in every inch of him, from his perpetually tangled mess of black hair thrown into a ponytail, to the multi-colored Star Wars shoes he wore every day. Dean adored him, if not for his rapport with Harper, then definitely for his banter with Cas, which tended to only confuse him. He explained the necessity of shots to Cas when they first met by saying, “One cannot defeat the dark side without proper immunization.”

“Hey, fellas,” Dr. Ochoa said genially. “What’s going on with my little one?”

Dean began talking at once.

“I was holding her this morning, and she has these two hard lumps on her chest,” he said, and Dr. Ochoa slipped his glasses on his nose and indicated that Cas should lay Harper on the examining table.

He bent over her, and Harper observed him quietly, reaching out a tiny hand to pull at his glasses. He instantly took them off and let her wave them about while he felt of her chest. Behind him, Dean pulled Cas in by the hand again, and started rattling.

“I mean, we have a history of breast cancer in my family. My mom’s mom died of it really young, only forty or so, but I’ve never heard of anything like this with a kid before.”

Cas threw Dean a terrified look.

“You never told me about that,” he whispered. “Do you think that’s what it is? Can that even happen?”

“I don’t _know_ , Cas, that’s why I wanted to bring her here-”

“Boys,” the doctor cut him off, and he stood with Harper in his arms and handed her to Dean, glasses back on his nose and laughter barely contained. “She’s fine.”

A wave of relief swept over Dean, and he held his daughter close.

“What is it, then?” he asked, and Dr. Ochoa’s voice wavered with the will to hold his laughter in.

“You’re going to have so much trouble in about thirteen years,” the doctor nodded. “Those are her boobs. And they’re not going to be small.”

Cas and Dean stared, open-mouthed.

“We-we brought our daughter to the doctor because she is going to have a big chest,” Cas said with horror, and Dr. Ochoa couldn’t contain himself any longer; he bent over and slapped his hands on his knees, positively wheezing with glee.

“For the love of God,” he said between heaving laughs. “Don’t let a surgeon get their hands on her!”

Dr. Ochoa was still chuckling when he waved them off, and refused to allow them to pay for the visit, calling it “the best day at the office since he met a baby named Padawan”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have one more chapter in this part of the story before we move on to part 3! So excited for the things I have planned!


	20. Chapter 20

The chill of December set in early that year. Cas retreated to the den for hours at a time to finish his final exams, and Dean’s work at the garage slowed to a crawl. They found themselves one Saturday morning in much that situation; Cas was buried deep in a poetry analysis paper, and Dean was mixing together some rice cereal for Harper, who was growing at a rather terrifying speed, and advanced in every milestone she hit.

At three months old, she was already babbling away, reaching for the spoon any time Dean was close to her face with it.

“You’re going to spill it, Harpie,” he grinned when she made an inelegant swipe with her hand.

“Ba. Baaaaa,” she garbled at it crossly, and Dean just chuckled, feeding the soupy mixture to her.

The phone rang, and Dean grabbed it to push the answer button, cushioning it under his chin as he fed Harper.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Sam,” his brothers voice sounded solemn over the short distance between their houses.

“Everything okay?” Dean asked.

“Uh, sorta. I wanted to call and tell you Grandma Millie passed away last night.”

“Oh,” Dean couldn’t manage much else.

Guilt flared up in Dean’s gut. His grandmother was dead. Shouldn’t he feel…something? Anything? How terrible of a person was he that his own grandmother’s death, no matter how horrible she had been, meant nothing to him?

“…found a will,” Sam continued to speak awkwardly on the line.

“Sorry, what?” Dean asked, pushing his regret down and forcing himself back to the conversation.

“They, uh, found her will,” Sam spoke haltingly.

“Yeah? Am I millionaire now?” Dean laughed harshly, the sound falling painfully on his ears.

“No, but she left Cas something. Hold on, let me read Mom’s message to you,” there was a shuffling of paper and Sam pulled the slip of paper holding the phone message close to him. “It says ‘To Castiel Winchester, I leave two hundred dollars. You may be going to Hell, but you’ve got balls.’”

Silence filled the line.

“Holy shit,” Dean deadpanned, and then he started to chuckle.

On the other end, Sam laughed too, and soon both brothers were wheezing and gasping for air, all tension between them broken. They hung up soon after catching their breath, and Dean fed Harper breakfast until Cas walked into the room, a proud smile on his face.

“Finished! What did I do?” he asked, for Dean had burst into laughter again at the sight of him.

“N-nothing,” Dean laughed. “Millie passed away.”

Cas looked at Dean with a puzzled tilt of the head.

“And you’re laughing?”

“I’m screwed up, Cas, but not that screwed up. She left you money in her will. Two hundred bucks.”

Cas gaped.

“Why?” he asked, and Dean told him the entire message.

“So,” he said when he was finished. “You’re a bit richer now, you abomination. What are you going to do?”

Cas wiped Harper’s face off from her finished meal, and leaned down to kiss Dean softly.

“I’m going to buy Harper her Christmas dress, you a Christmas present, and then take you out on the best date of your life.”

“Castiel Winchester,” Dean feigned shock and held his hand over his heart. “You mean two men? _Together?_ Shameful!”

Cas laughed a bit, then picked Harper up to burp her.

“Don’t mock the dead, Dean,” he said gently. “She may have been wrong, and she may have been cruel, but she was still a human.”

“I know, Cas,” Dean said, standing to wrap him and Harper in a hug. “That’s why I feel terrible about not really caring that she’s gone.”

Cas pecked a swift kiss on Dean’s nose.

“And _you_ are human too. The fact that you’re even trying to care about someone who treated you and your family so horribly shows me the kind of person you are. Now, do you think Mary would be willing to keep Harper?”

Dean grinned at Cas.

“I’ll give her a call.”

*

Mary, as it transpired, was thrilled to watch Harper, and insisted Cas and Dean take the entire day and night to themselves.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked her when they dropper Harper off after lunch. “She can be a handful.”

“I’ve had a bit of experience,” Mary winked at him, and sent the boys off, already cooing at Harper before the door had even shut.

Dean and Cas spent the afternoon together doing insignificant things that meant the world. They waded in the fountain at the mall until a burly security guard chased them away. They visited Smoke and Lines and picked up a small mountain of books, including some vintage children’s stories for Harper. At nearly seven, Dean’s stomach gave an enormous roll during a walk through downtown Lincoln, and Cas immediately steered them toward Halmeoni’s for dinner, where they ate and spent some much needed time with Annie, who sent them on their way without paying and with a copy of her mondoo recipe folded carefully in Cas’ pocket.

“A whole night to ourselves,” Dean said, threading his fingers through Cas’ once they were back in their car and on the way home. “What can we get into?”

“Lots of sex,” Cas nodded seriously, and Dean choked on his own spit.

“W-what?” 

Cas grinned over at Dean just as his own phone lit up with a call. He frowned at the unfamiliar number, then pushed the button to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Castiel?” a gravelly voice asked.

“Yes?”

“Thank God, I had to look you up in the student directory. It’s Rufus Turner.”

“Professor Turner?” Cas questioned.

The man groaned.

“Shit, kid, can’t you just call me Rufus like everyone else does?” the man sounded in a constant state of irritation, and tonight was no different. “Look, sorry to call you, but I’ve got a situation here and you’re the best one I can think of it to fix it.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Cas replied, and Rufus’ voice softened a bit on the phone.

“I’m not calling for world peace here, boy. I just need a favor. You know that annoying little shit from the graduate program? What’s his name…Ash something. He was supposed to teach the English department’s remedial poetry class on Wednesday nights, but he just called me. Said he can’t, it’ll mess up his chi or some shit. Point is, I’m down an adjunct English instructor.”

“I see,” Cas said, pausing to think. “I believe Bela Talbot is in the poetry graduate program as well if you’re looking for a replacement.”

“Actually, I wanted to ask if you’d take it on.”

“Me?” Cas asked, incredulously, while Dean looked at him questioningly. “I can’t teach a course, I’m a freshman-”

“Who happens to grasp this material better than some tenured professors,” Rufus cut in. “I’m not offering you a place on my staff. I’m just asking you to head up this remedial session. It’s more of a tutoring group than anything, but we have to list it as a course for the students to get any credit. You interested?”

“I…I’m flattered, but can I take a night to think about it?” Cas shook his head at his stupidity; surely Professor Turner would pass it on to someone else if he couldn’t give a straight answer.

“Take tonight, and tell me first thing in the morning,” Rufus said at once. “These idiots need someone to teach them the basics, and I hope it’s you.”

“Thanks, Professor,” Cas replied. “Talk to you in the morning.”

He hung up and Dean glanced over at him expectantly.

“What the hell was that about?” Dean asked.

Cas told Dean the details, and Dean’s grin grew wider and wider as he spoke.

“I married a genius,” he said when Cas finished, and the other boy shook his head.

“What do I do?” he wondered aloud. “We have Harper, and I’ll have a full schedule this semester. It’s online, but I’ll still have to plan classes. I won’t be able to spend as much time with either of you.”

“Look, I adore Harpie, but sometimes you have to do things for you, man,” Dean reasoned, reaching across the seat to grasp Cas’ hand. “You’ve always been awesome at explaining poetry and literature to me. I know you’d be the perfect person for the job.”

“You really think so?”

“I do,” Dean nodded. “But this is your call. Whatever you decide to do, I‘ll support you.”

Cas’ heart thumped madly in his chest and he brought Dean’s hand to his mouth so he could kiss the rough and permanently grease-stained knuckles there.

“I love you,” he whispered against the skin, and Dean squeezed his hand.

“I know,” he agreed. “I love you too.”

They had barely made it through the door that night when they were kissing and pulling at each other’s clothes, so desperate for one another that they could hardly form coherent statements. The next few hours were spent wrapped around each other, until both were exhausted to the point of being unable to keep their eyes open.

Cas fell asleep first, naked limbs still wrapped around Dean in their bed. Dean yawned widely and nuzzled beneath Cas’ ear, sighing happily.

“I do love you, you nerd,” he whispered, and soon he fell asleep with the warm weight of Cas pressed against him in the dark.

The next morning, when Cas called Rufus to accept the job, he didn’t know who was prouder: the relieved professor on the phone, or Dean, who beamed at him over the pancakes he made.

“So, you going to start wearing cardigans and smoking a pipe? Because I’m cool with that,” Dean said over his shoulder.

“Maybe,” Cas replied, walking to Dean and hooking his chin over the man’s shoulder. “I’ll be sitting in my study by candlelight, slaving away over lesson plans in nothing but glasses and a cardigan.”

“Oh, hell yes,” Dean grinned, and flipped the pancakes on the griddle. “I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

*

Christmas was fast approaching, and the Saturday before the holiday was spent warm and comfortable inside. Cas sat on his armchair, a stein of yarn thrown out at his feet as he tried to crochet a baby blanket for Harper while the baby played at his feet.

“I’m terrible at this,” he declared sourly, and Dean laughed when he caught sight of the pale pink and white blanket; Cas had somehow managed to skip stitches enough to form a nearly perfect triangle.

“Here,” Dean said, and he took it in his hands. “You have to count, Cas.”

Dean unraveled the stitches and immediately began to loop and form new ones. Cas raised an eyebrow.

“You can crochet?”

“Have you met my mom?” Dean grinned. “When she wanted me to be quiet, she gave me yarn and a hook. I made that sweater I wore all the time in third grade.”

“The green one?” Cas mused. “I liked it. It made your eyes look even brighter.”

Dean flushed.

“Maybe I’ll make you one.”

Cas stood and kissed Dean gently on the forehead.

“I’d love that. Be right back, the mail just ran.”

Dean watched Cas throw on his boots and a thick jacket, and pull a hat over his ears, then walk out down the path to their mailbox.

Harper cooed from the floor, and Dean glanced down at her.

“You missin’ Papa?” he asked, and Harper narrowed her eyes at him at the word, causing Dean to laugh. “I swear, you get more like Cas every day. He’ll be right back, kiddo.”

Harper didn’t do anything but set her face in a determined look. She kicked her feet, and pulled with her hands, trying to move, but her muscles refused to cooperate. The little girl grew increasingly frustrated, glaring at the door where Cas had left, and flailing her limbs.

“Got to learn to crawl first, kid,” Dean said kindly, and he put aside the yarn to pick her up and hug her close.

She squirmed, still looking at the door, and her attention was rewarded when Cas opened it, coming back inside. He turned, and ice stuck to his heel caused his foot to shoot out from under him, and he landed with a thud on the floor. Dean doubled up in laughter, and Cas glared up at him from the floor, hair matted to his head from the snow. The look only made Dean laugh harder.

Harper burst out laughing, the giggles bubbling out of her, and Dean’s eyes widened while he choked back his own laughter.

“Her first laugh!” he exclaimed, and Cas’ facial features softened.

“You make that hurt a little less,” Cas smiled and heaved himself out of the floor to sit beside Dean and Harper.

Harper giggled and reached out for him, and Cas took her at once. 

“You think it’s funny when Papa falls?” he kissed her on the nose, and Harper grinned, then gave an almighty yawn. “Naptime, I think.”

“I can do it,” Dean volunteered at once, but Cas shook his head.

“No, you were up with her last night. My turn.”

Cas stood with Harper in his arms, and carried her upstairs, only limping a bit from his fall. Dean smiled and set about to sorting their mail. Bills, junk and spam, the usual. The very last letter, though, was something completely unexpected.

_Castiel Winchester_  
_915 Elysian Fields Rd._  
_Chesterfield, NE, 63028_  
_Inspected and Approved Mail,_  
_Fjord County Federal Prison_

Dean passed the letter around and around in his hands. Should he open it? No, he decided. This, whatever it was, belonged to Cas. He waited downstairs for a quarter hour for Cas to sing and rock Harper to sleep, and jumped when he heard the familiar light footsteps of Cas on the stairs.

“I can’t believe the first thing she ever laughed at was me falling,” Cas entered the room and noticed Dean on the couch. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

“You got a letter, Cas. From-from prison.”

Cas’ eyes widened a moment before narrowing into suspicion.

“What could he possibly want with me now?”

“There’s only one way to know,” Dean said, and he handed Cas the letter. “It’s inspected, so at least you know he didn’t put some kind of prison drug in there.”

“Reassuring,” Cas remarked, and he slid a long finger into the flap to tear it open, eyes skimming it quickly.

Cas quickly read over the letter, his face stony and unreadable, though he did look pained when he finally finished it.

“Cas?” Dean asked warily. “What is it?”

“He’s…he’s very sick,” Cas finally said. “He needs a bone marrow transplant or…”

“Or he-?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed quietly. “He’ll die.”

“And you’re a match?” Dean questioned.

“Possibly. I would need to be tested to be sure, but it’s likely.”

Cas read over the letter again quietly.

“Cas, he tried to kill you. You can’t seriously be considering this.”

“He sounds desperate,” Cas said softly. “He says he understands if I have no desire to help him, and he doesn’t expect me to. But he said he wanted to try anyway…and maybe I inherited some of what made my mother so good.”

“He’s a con man, telling you what you want to hear.”

“I know he is, Dean, I’m not that foolish. But he’s blood,” Cas said simply. “The only relative I have left.”

“Bullshit,” Dean shot back. “You have me and Harper. We’re you’re family.”

“You are,” Cas admitted. “But he’s the reason I’m alive. Without him, I would never have been born. _Harper_ would never have been born. I don’t want to have a relationship with him, but he gave me life. The least I can do is give it to him too.”

Dean sat silently, biting his lip in thought and staring at Cas.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Cas,” he finally said. “It takes a hell of a person to make that decision.”

Cas leaned in to peck Dean on the lips.

“I’ll need to schedule a meeting with our doctor.”

“I’m coming with you,” Dean said at once. “If you’re doing this for that bag of dicks, I want to make sure I’m there.”

“Absolutely,” Cas agreed. “I want to make sure he sees who my true family is.”

*

Harper wailed out in the darkness that night, and Cas groaned when he rolled over.

“I’ve got it, baby,” Dean whispered to him, and Cas grunted his approval before rolling back over and snoring.

Dean made his way through the shadowed hall until he came to Harper’s room, and he picked her up at once.

“Hey, hey Harpie,” he cooed. “It’s okay, Daddy’s here.”

He could tell at once she needed a diaper change, and he performed a quick one, then settled back in the rocking chair with her and patted her lightly while they rocked.

Harper sniffled and cried out, wriggling about in Dean’s arms.

“C’mon now, kiddo. Sleep.”

He bounced her gently and lay her against his shoulder, humming softly. Harper’s cries lowered to a whimper, and Dean started singing.

_Here I am just waiting for a sign_  
_Asking questions, learning all the time_  
_It's always here, it's always there_  
_It's just love, and miracles out of nowhere._

Harper’s sniffles resided into light breathing, and Dean continued, humming and singing his favorite phrases from the old Kansas song.

_Here I am, I'm sure to see a sign_  
_All my life I knew that it was mine_  
_It's always here, it's always there_  
_It's just love and miracles out of nowhere._

Finally, Harper calmed back down, her eyes wide but her cries quieted. Dean couldn’t put her down yet, or she’d begin wailing, so instead he just started talking.

“I know I’m going to miss this someday, Harpie, but right now I just really want you to sleep,” Dean looked down at her wide eyes, staring at him with full trust, and he chuckled. “Yeah, you’re going to get things over on me so easy. One look of those eyes, I’m a goner.”

Dean rocked back and forth until Harper’s eyes drooped shut and she began to breathe in steady, long breaths. He carefully stood and walked across to her crib, then lay her in it before leaning across and placing a kiss on her forehead.

“‘Night, sweetheart. I love you.”

He padded quietly back to his and Cas’ room, and climbed into their bed, wrapping an arm around Cas and tugging him close to nuzzle into his neck. His hand brushed a solid object under the pillow, and Dean pulled it out to look at it. It was the book of Emily Dickinson poetry he'd bought for Cas, a faded bookmark sticking out of the top. When Dean looked closer, he saw the bookmark was a cardboard cutout of a bee, with the words, "Never be afraid to _bee_ yourself!" scrawled across it. He chuckled and moved to set the book on the bedside table, then moved in close to Cas again, who blinked sleepily at him, jostled barely awake from the movement.

“Dean?” Cas said thickly. “Is she okay?”

“She’s perfect,” Dean said, kissing Cas on the temple and closing his eyes. “She takes after her Papa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! After way too long, a computer crash wiping out the first draft of this chapter (and my entire novel based off of Waking Up, haha SHOOT ME IN THE FOOT), and some sweet and kind messages of encouragement, the final chapter is done. Part three is in the works, and it's slated to be about raising Harper. There's some big things on the horizon for the boys, and I'm excited to keep writing on this story! What will happen with Crowley? What kind of kid is Harper going to grow into? That (and more questions you don't even know about yet!) will be answered in part 3!
> 
> Thank you, 100 times over, for your support. I love writing these two, and knowing that people enjoy it makes it even better. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story, and see you in part 3!


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